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Original poster

Dh having numerous falls

134 replies

kitsonkittykat · 21/08/2012 11:20

Dh wont go to the doctors. He has had numerous falls over the last 4 months, both off his bikes and also just walking on the flat and down stairs. In the last month he has come off his bike twice, and fallen down stairs once, and on the flat 3 times that I know of. He is in his mid 30s.

Right now he has horrible bruising on his ribs and his hand/wrist. Im really worried about him, and he won't go to the doctors. He said he is just tired from working (long hours but not physical work).

What could be causing all these falls and should I be pushing him to go to the GP?

OP posts:
ethelb · 21/08/2012 11:22

eye test first? not so scary?

Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 21/08/2012 11:25

Ill suggest that to him. Do you think he could function to read type if his eyes were so bad he is falling over. He doesnt seem to have trouble in the car. Getting him to the doctors is incredibly difficult. Perhaps the optician might be easier for him.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 21/08/2012 11:28

I would push him to go to the dr. Is he dizzy or does he just fall? He doesnt want to go because he's scared he'll hear bad news.

Toughasoldboots · 21/08/2012 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 11:36

Is he just losing his balance suddenly or does he feel dizzy first?

I suffer from transient vertigo, when the world just slips sideways suddenly and have nearly fallen over several times. I tend to walk into walls instead or have to grab onto things, even when sitting. In my case, it was a verterbral displacement in my neck - so an osteopath fixed it for me, and if my neck goes "out" again, I need to see the osteopath to get it sorted.

I was previously checked by the ENT specialist after referral by my GP - they told me I had a permanently damaged inner ear and would have to get used to living with it - this was incorrect. However, the GP should still be the first port of call as sudden unexplained dizziness could be due to damaged inner ears, inner ear infections (although that tends to be shorter lived and much more severe - had that twice too), Meniere's disease, or even, (God forbid) a brain tumour (my 21mo niece had a lot of wobbliness and falls, she had a cerebellar brain tumour that was successfully removed 5y ago)

Your DH has to go to the GP to be checked, and you need to push to get all bases covered - once the worse things have been ruled out, then maybe a chiro/osteopath would be useful for checking neck alignment (I'd had physio for this as well which did fuck all).

zipzap · 21/08/2012 11:38

Tell him that if he doesn't go, you will go to the doctors instead and tell the doctor all his symptoms and see if there is any way that the doctor can help you persuade him that he needs to go in to see him/her. Or ring up nhs direct and explain everything to them, then hand the phone over to your dh so he has no chance of running away from it.

Might also help if you do manage to get him to go to the opticians if you are able to speak to the optician first to tell him of your concerns. if it is an eye problem the optician can deal with - great (well, not really but you know what i mean, good that it is identified). If not, the optician will hopefully be able to help persuade your dh that the next step is to see the gp if he knows of your worries.

Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 21/08/2012 11:57

When I've seen him fall, he looks absolutely fine, chatting and walking normally, then he just seems to collapse without losing conciousness and no confusion. Its like his legs or balance goes, if that makes sense. He is also getting incredibly clumsy with things like shaving, saying again, he is just tired. Ive tried being gentle about it, asking him how he is feeling, Ive tried guilt tripping him into going, but he just refuses to discuss it.

I think Im going to see the GP without him. He won't be happy about it, but at the very least his wrist and ribs need xrays. Thanks for the advice and someone to talk to about it.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 21/08/2012 12:00

How awful for you both Sad I hope you can get him to the GP's? And yes go yourself if he won't.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 12:02

There are other medical conditions that can cause things like that as well - he really needs to be seen, so yes, you go to the GP first with a list of what's been happening and see if you can get some answers/ideas, and then drag him along because if it is something serious, the sooner he's seen, the better.

DorisIsWaiting · 21/08/2012 12:10

I think the clumsiness and falls definitely need a chat with the GP I think you need to get him there.

Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 21/08/2012 12:20

Im going to have to be a bit disloyal and go in ahead I think, and have a chat with the GP, because I just don't see him going in willingly without a huge push. Do you think it is possible that he is indeed just tired, and therefore a being clumsy and falling, or do you think it is an excuse? I don't want to overreact and also upset him in the process! Sad

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 21/08/2012 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew · 21/08/2012 12:34

I doubt it is tiredness , though obviously I'm not a dr. My friend has had similar symptons and has had a diagnosis . Please make him go. Hopefully it will he nothing Smile

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 12:36

Tiredness on its own, I would say is extremely unlikely to cause him to be falling like that. Clumsiness might be put down to it, but not the falling.

You might not want to upset him and he might be scared, but if you go and find out what is actually wrong with him at least something can be done about it - the sooner the better - rather than dragging it out and running unnecessary risks.

CMOTDibbler · 21/08/2012 12:36

He really, really, really needs to go to the GP. That does not sound like it is tiredness at all.
Make him an appointment and make him go.

CuriousMama · 21/08/2012 13:11

Dp is constantly tired and a lot older at 57. He works permanent nightshift. He doesn't fall though. Your dh is saying this because he's scared which is understandable.

Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 22/08/2012 23:43

He had another fall in front of me and the kids. Poor sod just buckled and fell hard again! He has agreed to go to the doctor about the bruising, and while he is there Im going to mention the falling, even though he doesnt want me to. He did finally agree that the falling over was not "normal", but really doesnt want to talk about it. I think you lot are right and he is scared.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 22/08/2012 23:46

Sad Am so sorry to hear this. I hope he does tell the dr himself.

cocolepew · 22/08/2012 23:47

Please do go with him and tell the dr.

Thumbwitch · 22/08/2012 23:50

If his knees are just giving way there is another possibilty - Transient ischaemic attacks, TIAs He cannot afford to be scared - delay is dangerous where some of the possibilities are concerned - some of them aren't but unless he gets checked he's not going to know which category his condition falls into.

He may be googling away himself and talking himself into believing the worst - when it could be something easily treatable!

You must go with him - normally I wouldn't say this but you really must because the doc needs all the info to make a proper assessment and work out what to do next.

cocolepew · 22/08/2012 23:55

Thumb is right, delaying telling the dr is the worst possible thing.

Did you have any ideas what it could be? I wouldn't want to post anything and scare you, but its vital he goes soon.

Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 22/08/2012 23:56

I am definately going with him, whether he likes it or not. I wouldnt usually go against his wishes, and feel a bit disloyal, but Ild rather feel disloyal and know what is wrong with him, than ignore it and something awful happens to him.

I was shocked that he actually admitted there was something wrong, as he has pointedly refused to discuss it before today. I think DD's reaction to him falling might have helped him realize that he has to face it.

Im actually quite worried about him now. He does have a family history of strokes, and seeing him go with such a bang today was pretty awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
kitsonkittykat · 22/08/2012 23:58

To start with I thought he might have had a trapped nerve or something, but seeing him fall a couple of times like that and he seems to have no control at all over going, Im starting to think MS, or a fucking brain tumor and other such awful horrible things. Reading about TIA's has just about done me in, but Im glad I know, as now Im going to drag him to the doctor and not take no for an answer.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 23/08/2012 00:00

I'm sorry if I scared you more, kitson, really didn't want to do that but I'd rather that than he suddenly got a whole lot worse unnecessarily.

It still could be a trapped nerve though. The doc just needs to know all the info.

cocolepew · 23/08/2012 00:01

Those are the 3 things that sprung to mind with me.

I hope you get an answer soon and its ok.