**TAMOXIFEN**22 !

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yikes- here we go...

mm,banana bread -yummy !
Horrible weather here- made me stay in bed when my alarm went off...too miserable.
Forgot to say- ds got his singing exam results- a few points short of a merit, so v good- think he was pleased !

Goodluck Gracie for chemo today. Well done youing MAS for singing result. Now, better extract ds2 from his bed - is going to be difficult!!!

mas can I just say I think your blog is amazing.

And I can totally relate to cancer being "easier" to worry about than something like ocd.
As have mentioned I have had therapy since lost my son during pregnancy.

This is not so much because of bereavement issues but the underlying anxiety and depression it brought out in me that I had got so used to dealing with , I barely thought of it. I find trying to stop that side of me (ESP when coping with dx) makes it feel So much harder to cope.

And congrats to ds about his singing. What is next for him - anymore concerts?

Morning All

Good luck for today gracie , don't forget to take all the anti sickness drugs even if you feel fine . The sickness is a sneaky bugger !
Oh and be warned , when they inject the steroid part of your chemo , your under carriage will go all tingley
And also you will have red wee for a couple of days !
(all the things that they don't tell you at your consultant appointments )

Aaaargh , hit send by mistake !

The boy done good mas , is he pleased ?
I also am enjoying your blog , are you enjoying writing it ?

Spoke to FIL last night about DS cough (FIL is retired GP) , and he said that the school was being a bit precious and to send him back in today .
So he has been sent back armed with some sucky sweets !

Right , who wants ?

yes,the school was being a bit precious I think topsy -tell them you have medical backing !! sucky sweets are good idea.
Ds I think will go on to grade 5 (and there's grade 5 theory to be done too) -concert for the NY Choir in May then their tour.
He was pleased,as far as I can tell !
gig someone else said pretty much the same as you,about her bc being in a way easier to deal with than her depression. I am on a bit of a mission with my blogging- trying to keep up the momentum while it is flowing-only hope I don't get boring. BCN says it will be very therapeutic and I think it is. I will try to write today about sibling grief because that was quite a revelation to me.

gracie, good luck from me too.

Let us know how you get on?

Yes please for . Dodgy tum today - not sure what I've eaten but it hasn't liked me, so staying put for the time being.

Agree entirely re aspects of BC being easier to handle than some of the other stuff I've been through. And BC has not been fun.

Morning all. Banana bread sounds yummy, gig - yes please!

MAS I love the blog - its fascinating to read. Please keep writing more! I hope that you feel its a positive process, and that it is helping you work things through in your mind.

gracie BIGGEST hugs for you today. Definitely take all the antisickness they offer you, and keep taking them, even if you feel OK. Its harder to shift once its started - easier to keep it under control in the first place.

Drink plenty - it dilutes the scarily red wee and stops you having bladder problems. I found that fizzy stuff helps to settle my stomach a bit, so maybe stock up on your favourite.

If they give you steroids to take after the chemo, - I have dexamethazone - don't take your last dose too late in the day. They can make you very jittery and you might find it hard to sleep. Even on three tablets a day, I try to get my last one down by 3pm.

Rest, rest and then have another rest after you have finished resting. . .

Don't hoover. As you have discovered, it is an over-rated practice. . .

Eat chocolate. And mints. It helps. . . I recommend Fry's peppermint cream, which topsy managed to convince me was one of my five a day. . .as the logic goes, peppermint is a herb, which is nearly a vegetable. . .

Sorry, that all sounds a bit preachy. Just some thoughts that others shared with me and stuff I thought might help. Do let us know how you get on.

amber sorry for dodgy tum. Hope it resolved itself soon x x

Kurri hope you have not been ritually slaughtered by topsy ?! Big congratulations on the C25K thing. Sounds an excellent way of doing it with podcasts etc. My problem would be that me running around the streets of Dorset would cause some kind of localised earthquake. . .

eight how are you? How is DS doing now term as started again? Hope he is OK.

Waves to gig - will happily park my arse on the paranoia box for you my love. Sorry you're having a CT wobble. Quite understandable but hard to cope with. Sounds like hefty gig is growing apace! How old is she now?

Waves to jchoc , lime , and anyone else lurking. . . SMEE ? Are you out there?!

thank you ned - will keep writing, it does help I think.
smee are you about yet ?

Hi everyone, sorry holidays make me have to go awol.

Hope everyone is doing ok, I may not have been here, not even lurking, but you are always in my thoughts dear friends.

I will put a on and offer some hot cross buns, still loads knocking around here, and they won't keep you know!

Ooo and hot cross buns sounds just right!

Howdee from Smee

Sorry I've been away for such a long time. Got back mid last week to improbable amounts of work, not helped by school holidays. Just about managed to scrape through, but I now need another holiday. (Yes, I know, am spoilt brat.)

NYC is of course totally fab in every way. We should head over there and set up a Tamoxifen salon. Obviously I've extensively researched the fbs already.

Had clear blue skies the whole time and wore out a pair of shoes, we walked so much. DS and I even walked a fair way up the stairway of the Empire State Building as the lifts were playing up (insane, don't ever try it..!). I will try and post some pics if I can work out how to do it, but all was tremendous.

But how are you all??? What have I missed? Extraordinary amounts am sure. I did think of you all from my NY idyll. I will go back and read through, but I think OneinEight and Ned must have been through another chemo? Hope you're both okay. OneinEight, are you on Tax now? I think you are - really it hasn't hit you too much. I preferred FEC in lots of ways as I was so sick on that, but the Tax aches can be quite something.

Just spotted Gracie starts today, so Gracie am thinking of you. Well done on getting the Picc line in - sounded not nice, but it will save you time and trauma on chemo days, so a good job done. Hope today goes as well as it can.

• MAS has a blog?? What/ where? Do tell. Am I allowed to read?

bit alarmed to see Topsy might have knocked off Kurri. What was her crime? Did she steal from the trolley?

Waving to all then - will post more later when I have more time, but just wanted to say helloooo.. So lovely to be back.

Smee !!!!!
You're home !
Mwaaaaah
kks sin was talking about the C25k thingy , which led me to download the podcasts , which then led to a nasty outbreak of me attempting to exercise !
Shudder ....

Hello all and welcome back to our Smee. Your holiday sounds fab. Just what you needed.

Topsy, you will be amazed pleased to hear you're not alone in the C25K thingy. After reading yours and KK's posts about it, I went and did a goog. When we walked the dog last night, DH was saying how he didn't even think I could run 45 seconds so, suitable challenged, I ran 45 seconds, walked 45 seconds and did it 4 times without collapsing. He was suitably impressed and downloaded the podcasts onto his i-pod for me. I'm only a bit achey this morning and can't look forward to having a 'proper' go tomorrow.

MAS, well done to T for his music exam result - great news and a relief for you both I imagine. I'm enjoying the blog too - I imagine it's having a cathartic effect too, getting everyone out of your system.

Hope the tummy's settled now, Amber.

Thinking of Gracie today and hoping everything goes smoothly.

Off to do housey stuff now so waves to everyone else but help yourselves to yummy honey flapjacks, just out of the oven.

Afternoon all

Your trip to NY sounds amazing smee. Hats off to you attempting the steps at Empire State. I'm a lazy sod and probably would have skipped that and opted for a Starbucks instead

mas going to catch up on your blog after this. Congratulations to DS on his singing exam. You must be very proud.

Thanks so much for all the info on chemo topsy and ned I need all the tips I can get. This is definitely an experience, first with toilet duck blue wee after op and now red, wonder what colour comes next?

Well, good and disappointing news. MRI scan came back normal, no CT scan result yet. Consultant going to chase that up. Disappointing news, chemo has been put back until tomorrow. Something about a fault with the chemo and it has to be remade. So after psyching myself up I have to do it all over again tomorrow.

amber hope your dodgy tum is improving.

smee you are back

gracie poor you after getting psyched up- good news re MRI scan tho.

Anyone want to sit on the lazy sofa with me and watch the fit types? I will eat through guard the fbs tray.

gigs Budge over and let me rest beside you. Fit for nothing is more my style. I will help you scoff guard the trolley.

SMEE !!!!!! we missed you !! did you bring peanut butter cups for the trolley ? am so glad you had a fab time- do share photos if you can, did ds love it ? Was Ninja pleased to have you back and was your house left all spick and span ?
gracie hooray for clear scan, but grrr about chemo delay- very annoying after you've got yourself all ready for it.
I'll link to my blog smee - I'm having a bit of a break from it as I seriously need to work and it has worn me out a bit.

here

Smee!!!! Yay re NY!

Gracie, arrgh re the delay. Grr.
Tum much improved here. Have done 3/4 hr of heavy duty weeding in the garden, which has resulted in 3 huge garden sacks of weeds. Now need to rest up for a good long while

3/4 of an hour in the garden - just as well I am sitting down when I read that!!

I know it's very American (and don't be Put off by refs to young cancer survivors) but really liked this on fear of recurrence

Gig, that's good - thanks!

Getting seriously worried about this cough now :(

Is it a dry cough? And is it all the time or just at night? Are you on any medication?

Someone's dry cough can be sign of asthma (I had to go back onto inhalers as persistent cough wouldn't go til doc tested my peak flow etc). Dh also has a cough which is se of blood pressure meds.

But another Gp trip probably wise .