21st TAMOXIFEN !!

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- how did that happen ?

Hope everyone had a good night? jc no luck re: early rise! DD2 had me up at 6 and the rest followed about 10 minutes later. It's the daylight. They've all been up at dawn's crack lately. Roll on the clock change I say!

I woke up feeling really sore. I hate wakening up to that. Yes, body, I know you're screwing up. Please stop alerting me every minute of the day!

Yesterday was hard. DH opened up the converation about if the tests reveal cancer and it got really morbid. I tried to tell myself that it's good for both of us to air these feelings and it's only natural but I just wanted to plug my fingers in my ears and start singing soprano. For the first time in my life, I'm finding it hard to talk!

I might take a walk to my Aunt's today with the younger 2 kids. I need to be out of the house a while. She has biscuits and is more of a chatterbox than me. I get a lot of family gossip just by saying hello to her usually! I'm not telling her about the tests for this reason. I don't want anyone to know til they need to.

Autumn I found early on talking to my dh really hard as he was very practical with Te what ifs and stats whereas I just want to focus on the immediate need to know. Hopefully you will get your appt quickly and it won't be as bad as you fear but just take it one step at a time.

Trip to auntys sounds a good idea - how old are you dc? Am I right in thinking you have 4 under 5!!

J - naughty cat .

DD1 is 5
DS1 is 3 (4 in a few weeks)
DS2 is 2.
DD2 is 10 months.

I'm just goig to fling the youngest 2 in the double buggy and take them with me when I put the big kids into school and nursery, then head out for a bit. My Aunt is such a loudmouth but she's so funny. I really need funny right now! Funny and coffee :)

am sure it'll help autumn - crikey you have your hands full (or is that a really tedious thing to hear-I expect people say it all the time !)

Happy Birthday to LJ and the juniors - have lovely days
gig take care and hope wound is feeling less inflamed today
Ds has his singing exam at 10.15,so please send musical vibes ! I discovered he'd missed lunch yesterday because he had something Important to do (seeing drama teacher) grrr- he'd hidden his lunch money so I wouldn't find out but I told him I'm very sharp eyed ! Am cross that he had to go all day without anything to eat especially as he went on to choir practice after school. He did get given an Easter egg because he is one of the few to attend the choir choreography classes

Hi Mas - sending vibes to ds this morning.

Autumn- I bow to you having 4!!! Ds2 almost same age as my dd1

MaryAnn Full the hands are but I'm used to it. I was the eldest in my family. There was just me and my wee brother but we have lot of younger cousins and I was the self-designated nanny for most of them. They're still being born actually! My Uncle's gf is pregnant. The gf is a bit of a head-waster but my Uncle's tate has always been in his arse.

gig try to rest today if you can. Easier said than done with tiny ones!

And happy birthday to the birthday people!

Happy Birthday to mini-Topsy and mini-Jane. Hope they both have a lovely day.

Lime am wishing you big birthday treats too. Hope those boys of yours spoil you.

Big wave to ILGC. Been wondering how you are. Hope DD's last treatment hasn't left her feeling too icky. Hip-hio-hooray for it being the last one though. How's your other DD now? Hope she's doing well too.

MAS I'd say do the study if you think you can. Could be v.interesting. Hope ds gets on okay with his singing exam. Am sure he will.

Holstein, hope blood test was okay and no more anxiety attacks. Must be scary when those hit.

Hello to Autumn. Your head must be all over the place right now. Stick with us - you can say anything on here - especially the stuff you can't say in rl. Hope the walk and your Aunt fills the day.

Topsy, has the BCN called yet?! Am really at how rubbish they've been. Just shows what a lottery it is. If I e-mail or call mine she's always back within the day. Actually she called me yesterday just to see how my paranoia levels were.

Right, loads to do. Waving to all those I've missed. Kurri, update on neighbours please. Sunny here and lovely. Hope it is where you are too.

Forgot to say, but yes the synchronised swimming was re-enacted in the playground - complete with hats and nose clips. They also did a nifty Horse Jumping and Dressage routine.. !

'Morning all.

for all. Especially those with four young ones

Back from GP with news that, having come off the Herceptin, my blood pressure isn't 175/105 any more...it's 135/84!!! Yay!

Yay Amber - excellent news!!

amber yay !!!!!
Ds will have finished at 10.30,so hope he's ok and it went well- thanks for good vibes !

Morning all.

Have noticed it is birthday city round here! so in order of age (sorry LJ )
happy birthday Lime -have a great day, a big cake and lots of spoiling. loads of love xx
Mini-jane next (I think) happy birthday to her - hope she has a fab day
and Little topsy -not so little any more - hope she has a wonderful birthday, and enjoys her crafty things (my favourite kind of present)

ILGC - lovely to see you, I often think of you and your family, great to hear DD1 has finished her treatment, hope she regains her strength as quickly as poss. and can get on with her studies. Love to DD2 - I hope she is feeling more settled now, - its a long road, but you are all so supportive of each other xx

Holsten - hope you are feeling better today - anxiety is a bastard - and leaves you shaken, hope the blodd test goes Ok, enjoy your day off - be gentle with yourself

Autumn - what a gorgeous sounding family Hope you enjoy your visit to our auntie - I think instinct tells you what you need who you want to be round at times like this

Those morbid conversations happen to all of us, and sometimes its good to get them out of the way and say your deepest fears out loud, it cna feel better afterwards but have them on your terms.
Also - best advice I ever got was from a nurse who said - 'deal with what you know, not with the don't knows', - in other words try not to let your imagination runaway with you. At the moment just try to concentrate on your next appointment and getting past that.

amber - hooray for BP - well done

Hope the appointment goes well Gig and they drain if needed, does plaster fitting take long?
Did I mention the other day that my mad friend (the one who is teaching me to drive) has kept her rads mould (she had throat cancer - so it is head and shoulders) and she is decorating it (she's an artist) - it looks brilliant, if a little disconcerting!

MAS - that study does sound interesting, - definitely worth thinking about - slightly belated musical vibes for T. - but based on the video of his performance the other night, I'm sure he'll do well.

topsy - feeling on your behalf that no one has got back to you about the breathlessness, just to set your mind at rest. Can you ring your unit and speak to someone there? BCN sounds a bit useless

Smee - neighbour update. The ground is being compressed very hard so it is flat and solid (foundations for something?) and a big lorry turned up with 'Waterworld' (I think) on it, bit it's gone now swimming pool, jacuzzi, pond, lake, yachting marina, Niagara Falls???

love to all.

Amber - that is really good news to see your blood pressure so much lower. I hope you are starting to feel a bit better too.

Smee - love the idea of playground sync swimming and dressage!

sorry - many typos

waves to Sparkle ?

Yay re amber and yay re Mas ds.

On way home from fitting appt. I am not sure what I expected mold to look like but a bad gcse art/design project wasnt it. Also my "pose" is face down spreadeagled like a drunk on the beach at magaluf.

But hospital easy commute , lots of nice cafes nearby and nurse appointed to look after me through treatments is just lovely.

Kurri sorry missed your post. Was all fine but I will let dh ask to keep the mold (it is of limited artistic merit).

I think your neighbours will soon be enjoying naturist parties in their new jacuzzi... I hope I am wrong

Oo yes please kurri a would be lovely.

at thought of naturist jacuzzi parties. I really like my neighbours, but eurgh at the thought of that....especially as my FIL is a neighbour!

Thank you for the naturist jacuzzi suggestion Gig

I have some of those airline blind folds....I will send them to you Kurri.

I am half listening to the budget speech to see how hard up we are going to be tomorrow!

Thanks Sparkle

Also half listening. Next month and thereafter will be bad for us anyway as DH's pension payments go up by £60 p/m -(public service worker)

Bus mans holiday for me listening to budget as an accountant

It seemed a very short budget Gig. I pottered off, and have just come in to Ed saying 'millionaires budget' - I think that was largely anticipated.

DH is a public sector not service worker,

The most depressing thing is quality of debate . Ed milinabd like a sixth former

It is depressing. Ed is a dead loss frankly, - as a lifelong labour voter, I'm holding out until they see sense and make Chuka Umunna leader.