Jokes about men - keep it clean please.

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Therapist: "Your wife says you don't buy her flowers."
Husband: "I didn't know she owned a florists."
"My husband's a ghost. He keeps disappearing."
Over to you....

Comedy is very personal.
If you don't think it's not remotely funny it's not remotely funny. If other people think it's hilarious it's hilarious.

I saw the joke live.
A huge number of women thought it was hilarious.

That's my point. Women cannot hurt men with sexist jokes. But men can hurt women with sexist jokes. If feminists are saying sexist jokes are okay, women will lose. Men will make jokes about rape and domestic violence that will hurt and offend women.

"87% of women kiss with their eyes closed. Which is why it's do hard to identify a rapist."

Yes, it is indeed personal.
Lots of people like the shock and offend type of humour. I think it's lazy, as is humour that's all about sex.

You think? Sneering and denigrating is always hurtful. That’s what bullying is.

Jokes aren't inherently sneering and denigrating just because they are about men or about women.
Anyone who is easily hurt and offended should probably avoid comedy altogether, because there is always going to be some element that bothers them. A good joke usually has some element of social commentary. People see something they recognize in it and that's why it makes them laugh. If they couldn't relate to it at all it wouldn't be funny. Hence you have jokes about men being insensitive, sex obsessed, lazy around the house, and about women not wanting sex with their husbands, lecturing them on their faults, etcetera.
These are things men and women commonly find annoying about each other, so it feels good to laugh about them.

I like this thread - while I don't like all jokes here.

First reason, the number of jokes and "jokes" about men and women in public space differ a lot, so I don't even know all of them, or at least I haven't met enough repetitions.

And the second thing, it is really interesting to observe my own reactions to them - which ones are funny (for me), whether I would expect my partner (M) to consider them funny as well and how I would feel about them being reversed.

You have really quite spectacularly misunderstood the (extremely clever) joke.

If feminists are saying sexist jokes are okay, women will lose. Men will make jokes about rape and domestic violence that will hurt and offend women.

I had to read this several times, @Hateam, to check that you really did say that feminists make men tell rape & DV jokes! You did!! That's very funny, congratulations!

If feminists do this, men will make jokes about rape and domestic violence. What's with the "men will"?

Men already make those jokes. All the time. In public and in private, in mixed and single-sex company. They make them a bit less now, in public and mixed-sex environments. But they keep right on making them, with zero provocation or encouragement from feminists.

It was silly to frame your comment as a threat. You can't control people's behaviour by threatening them with something that already happens and is unrelated to their behaviour, can you? Tsk.

***

My Husband died.

After he died, I couldn't even look at another man for almost 20 years.

But now that I'm out of prison, I can honestly say it was worth it.

***

Wife: "How could you do this to me?!"

Husband : "What did I do?"

Wife: "You had sex with my sister, you bastard!"

Husband : "Well, when I went to work she was lying naked on my table and you know she's an attractive woman, what did you expect me to do?"

Wife: "The fucking autopsy."

***

Badoom-tish.

Bwahahahaaa!

Woman to dating service chat bot; "Why has my application been rejected?"
Bot; "One of your quiz answers was rejected."
Woman; "What? Which one?"
Bot; "The answer to the question what do you want in a man. A bullet is not an appropriate answer."

You make some valid points.

I'll phrase my argument clearer.

If women sexist jokes about men, they can't complain when men make sexist jokes about women.

Ah, that’s the old ‘women can’t complain about their single sex spaces being invaded, because feminists invaded men’s clubs’ argument, isn’t it?

No.

They can, because (allegedly) sexist jokes about men don't serve to legitimize an existing power structure, they blow it apart.

Go for it then.

Betty Boothroyd.

How embarrassing for you...

Nothing to do with thicker skin (but good that you have because your post is rather embarrassing) but I am very surprised that someone who wants to make a dig has the inability to fact check first (google is very good for that). She is very well known. Strange you tried to put me down with "dear" though despite me being right 🤔

Love it!

Who cares? The joke still works. Everybody knows it's not actually about the Speaker never being a woman, surely.

As a man, these jokes are good.

Here's one in return.

Why are women like buses?

There's always another one coming along.

If there were three wise women, they would've asked for directions, arrived on time, and brought practical presents

What's your husband"s idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his feet while you vacuum around him.