Jokes about men - keep it clean please.

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Therapist: "Your wife says you don't buy her flowers."
Husband: "I didn't know she owned a florists."
"My husband's a ghost. He keeps disappearing."
Over to you....

😂😂

This is a really weird thread. It’s like the jokes you find in Christmas crackers only less funny and more man-hating.

I’m old enough to remember when jokes about blonde women were a thing and then everyone collectively seemed to grow out of them, realising that telling jokes of that nature said much more (that was unflattering) about the teller than the target of said jokes.

What do you call the useless piece of skin at the end of a penis?

A man 🥁

Indeed. What a nasty thread.

Very depressing thread.

Just to confirm.

Is this taking the piss out of men, Thai women or trans people. Just so I know

What a nasty thread. Feminism should not be not about discriminatory language to men or any other group.

Horrible, not funny.

Love this thread. Love people who can take a joke, woman or man.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll?
Don't know, it's never happened.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.

Speak for yourself. I love mother in law jokes and blonde jokes, despite being the butt of them.

Well done op, worst thread ever award coming your way.

Haha 😄 🤣 some good jokes. Nice to have a laff first thing in the morning with my cuppa. Keep em coming.

1. Men online: “LOL feminists stop taking everything seriously.”

(Feminists makes joke about men) Men online: “WHAT THE FUCK?” —

I think a lot of us objecting are women actually.

And???? Doesn’t stop the joke being funny.

Let's just say we have a different sense of humour then.

I heard a similar joke about women around 30 years ago and thought that was a horrible sexist joke. Reversing the sexes doesn't make it any less horrible.

All of the above. This thread is utterly sick. too many mumsnetters demean men, and transwomen, and foreigners.

How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll?
Don't know, it's never happened.

Very true in my household unfortunately.

If anyone wants to hear jokes aimed about women then please visit the rest of the Internet. It's that way 👉

In response to the critics humour is a useful tool to decrease the load when you have been treated like crap for all eternity which women as a group have by men both here and throughout the world.
Men are very lucky that we joke about them rather than controlling, raping and murdering us like they do.
When the stats are equally divided I will stop laughing at men jokes.

@Mittens67 Quite.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. - Margaret Atwood.

Whatever the excuses are, mocking the opposite sex isn't justifiable from either side.
I think the low traffic on this thread shows it

Why, of the 300 million sperm released with each ejaculation, does only one make it to the egg?
The others refuse to stop and ask for directions.

If that were to happen on any of the internet's major forums it would be gone before you could blink.

That isn't even a joke, it's just "look at me I hate men"