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Mental health

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Original poster

To think my family is better of without me?

61 replies

TerriHatchet · 30/05/2016 19:22

Posted a few days ago about my pnd. Cried all day today and even thought about running away and starting a new life , my dd and Dp would be happier without me. I am a rubbish mum and even worse partner.

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 30/05/2016 19:24

I don't think they would. If you need to talk, have you given Samaritans a ring? We're not able to give 1-2-1 attention online.

SweetieDrops · 30/05/2016 19:24

I'm sure that isn't true. Please make an appointment with your GP tomorrow, and if you need to talk to someone tonight phone the Samaritans.

Libitina · 30/05/2016 19:24

Have you told anyone this? Please seek help. No one will judge you

DropYourSword · 30/05/2016 19:24

I think everybody can feel that way at times. It's not true though. I'm sure your DD loves you very much and would miss you incredibly.

Buzzardbird · 30/05/2016 19:26

They will definitely not be better off. Have you any idea what it does to a child when their parent leaves them?
Get some help.

Libitina · 30/05/2016 19:26

Samaritans phone number is 116 123 if you're in the UK OP.

Original poster

TerriHatchet · 30/05/2016 19:27

She's 15 mo and has been sick all day all I've done is washing clothes, carpets etc. Me and Dp fought and I'm so tired and sad. If I left tonight she wouldn't even remember me.

OP posts:

WorldOfMeh · 30/05/2016 19:28

You are being unreasonable and I hope that you know that on some level. I haven't tead your other thread: have you seen a GP or health visitor- what support are you getting?

awhfuck · 30/05/2016 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Libitina · 30/05/2016 19:28

If you left tonight, where would you go?

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2016 19:28

Even if she didn't remember you she'd have to deal with the fact you'd left her.

Seek help-the Samaritans are lovely and won't judge you.

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2016 19:30

Posted too soon-it's so difficult to see things as they really are when you're depressed. Have you had any help? Your GP will be sympathetic and able to start you off on your way to feeling better.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 30/05/2016 19:32

What treatment are you having for your pnd?

Ring your GP by 8 tomorrow morning and request an urgent appointment for you.

In the meantime there is The Samaritans if you have no one else to talk to but, really, isn't there any friend or relative who knows how you feel?

Original poster

TerriHatchet · 30/05/2016 19:32

I love my dd and Dp so much and I hate myself for not being the best mum and Dp to them

OP posts:

IWasBeingAffable · 30/05/2016 19:34

Of course YABU, you're the centre of their world and even though she doesn't remember this stage, you're still shaping who she will become.

Nobody is at their best after a day of clearing up vom, be kinder to yourself and get to the doctor asap, so you can be OK and start enjoying things again.

Buzzardbird · 30/05/2016 19:35

You're wrong, she will blame herself. Trust me, as a grandchild of a woman that did that I can tell you that it screws up the lives of generations.
Sort out your problems, that is the easy way.

Magstermay · 30/05/2016 19:41

I've felt exactly as you do and thought about leaving. I didn't. Believe me it will get better - it is totally normal to fight with your partner when you are both stressed and tired, and trust me your DD will be much better off with you. To her you are the best Mummy in the world - you've just spent all day clearing up after her, that's an amazing thing to do for someone else.
Please ring a close friend/ family member or the Samaritans tonight to have a talk about it, or if you really feel you need a break can you stay with someone tonight?
Go and see your GP tomorrow, get an urgent appointment. My GP was so understanding, they can help you

Libitina · 30/05/2016 19:42

You are the best Mum and DP that you can possibly be at this time and they love you for that. Please try to talk to someone in RL tonight or ring Samaritans if you can't.
Ring your GP first thing tomorrow and ask for an urgent appointment. If necessary, tell them you spoke to the Samaritans tonight.

Original poster

TerriHatchet · 30/05/2016 19:43

I feel like things have gotten as bad as they can. I feel like I'm at a dead end and I can't take anymore.

OP posts:

BlancheBlue · 30/05/2016 19:44

Have you talked to your DP?

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2016 19:45

You don't need to decide anything tonight. Is your partner there? Can you tell them how you're feeling?

Buzzardbird · 30/05/2016 19:47

What is so bad? All babies get ill sometimes. Is it a relationship problem?

crankyblob · 30/05/2016 19:48

depression is complicated so I won't even patronise you by pointing out that this is the depression talking.

All I will say is this is how I felt while I had depression. It clouded my judgement and I only ever focused on the negative. Every night I would judge myself based on my own idea of what a "perfect" mum should be. The fact is I am a perfect mum because my kids would not want any other and I am sure the same goes for your DD. I bet you have done so much right today but just can't see it at the moment. I promise you, with the right help the cloud can lift and you can learn to enjoy life again.

She's been sick today and you have cleaned her clothes and the carpets, sounds like a good think to me.

Take one day at a time and don't be too harsh with yourself. I still get to the end of the day and wonder how I could have been a better mum (some days I know I could have been better) but you made it through and didn't leave and tomorrow is another day

DropYourSword · 30/05/2016 20:01

If things are as bad as they can be then things won't get worse. You won't ever be a perfect mum or partner so don't put that pressure on yourself. Be happy with 'good enough'. And trust me, your DD will think you are perfect. She might not 'remember' you long term, but she would absolutely miss you now. Think of how her little face lights up when she sees you!

Original poster

TerriHatchet · 30/05/2016 20:19

She just vomitted again and then had diarrhoea in the shower as I cleaned her up. I need food and my bed I'm So tired

OP posts:

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