Not sure I am very well

[messyoldmess]

Some of you may know about my drama with H & my separation etc. I have always felt I was dealing with things ok, but over the last couple of days I have totally lost the plot!
I don't feel I am control of my own head & feel the pressure is too great. I have experienced several panic attacks, tears & now just feel my head is really going to explode & I need to scream or something!
I know this may sound dramatic, but it is truly how I feel. I am scared I am going a bit mad.

I don't really get that much in the way of "me" time tbh. I do feel the fact I am in with the children demanding all day (as children do!) while he is escaping with his friends down the pub, doesn't help matters, but I need to get used to that!
Going to phone surgery from 8am onwards & try & get an appointment tomorrow.

I am seeing a doctor at 10.20am. Have a feeling the one they have given me is one of the more useless ones, but it seems you have to take what you get!

Sleeping tablets might not be a bad idea!

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Thanks. I have had another terrible night without sleep & will have an extra 3 children in the house today, which might not help with my stress levels!!

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I have a feeling he will prescribe me ADs. I have been a bit wary to start taking ADs before now, but I know I do need something to help me through a bit.

I would accept the AD's if GP prescribes them...I was so anti before I went through the same as you and snapped one day, saying F**k you to work (soooo unlike me) I was off for 3 months and it was a while before I took the AD's - wish I had straight away as it really helped. Have to say they took 6 weeks to kick in (i didn't want the heavy personality changing ones)but they helped (along with therapy) me to deal with the trauma of the previous year - honestly hon' the stigma of AD's soon goes when you start to want to wake up and face the day again

why have you got an extra 3 chidlren today? Are you not saying NO to extra commitments placed upon you

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Will post properly later, as I have rather a house full atm!
Went to GP & have been prescribed a low dose of ADs, which will apparantly help me sleep. I have picked them up & will give them a try, as I am horribly sleep deprived!

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I had a friend ask me if there was any chance I could take care of her DS, as she has no one else to do it. I don't go back to work until tommorow, so I agreed to help her out. I have had another friend visit with 2 of her children, which wasn't a problem, as it was nice to have company. My house is now a bomb though!

I explained things to the GP. He asked lots of questions about whether I was sleeping, eating etc. He said that the counselling may help & has told me to try an AD called Dosulepin, which apparantly helps aid sleep too.
I have picked them up & will give them a go, as I am so so tired.

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I was prescribed the same AD a few months back, but started to get more of a grip of myself & as I was so dubious about ADs, I decided to see if I could get along with just herbal tablets. I never picked the ADs up, but now I feel I really do need something, as things seem lots worse & I can't continue with this lack of sleep. I picked the ADs up straight after my appt today!

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I think the fact they can make you drowsy in the morning also put me off a bit, as I have to get up for work in the mornings!
I can't carry on not sleeping like this though & the little sleep I did get last night was filled with awful dreams!
I will now give anything a go!

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Have started on the tablets now & I am sleeping a little better than I was last week. I haven't had another major panic attack since either (touch wood!), but I am still quite low at times & do have tearful moments, although I guess that is to be expected.
Thank you all for your advice & support.