What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

Wow.

It’s not a wedding, the one time when you can reasonably have a gift registry. And yes, culturally in the UK, the quirk is it is ill-mannered to assume your child will be given a present by a child invited to thrir party, even though obviously the vast majority do give gifts. So the only time you should reference gifts in an invitation is to request they are not given. Pp have given you lots of other good reasons - people are skint, they already have a new great plastic toy they have multiples of. Some kids really like to choose a toy for the birthday child themselves. An invitation should be given generously, not with assumptions, expectations and conditions placed on the invitee.

You don't it's rude to tell people what to buy.
It's difficult enough trying to think about what to buy (and expensive) . Just be grateful they want to buy something and if you/she don't want it donate it.

Well why don’t you simply use the same wording that was on those invites instead of coming on here virtue signalling asking for ways to word the request?

For someone who 'reads for a living' you seem to have a hard time with comprehension as that's not remotely close to what most of us are saying. Many of us agree about the plastic. We just think you're entitled and lack social skills and, apparently, enough resourcefulness to copy and paste the plethora of similar requests you say you've received.

You can say your env conscious and you'd prefer it if there was no plastics. What's wrong with that?

Most plastic in toys is at least part recycled now thankfully, but lots of toys are made with bamboo/food wastes, so parents should be able to find something.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all!

Op the fun of a birthday is presents, and especially the ones that a child’s parents never would have realised their child liked. A donation is miserable- have you ever heard anyone say ‘remember my seventh birthday when I got that donation?’ Tat is only tat if it’s never played with

That isn't what you are asking though, you are asking for no plastic or books ?because you think your. DD has too many toys but you want her to have.a gift to open, which is fair she is 5 , ask for specific things not random second hand stuff that nobody will know what to buy, .

If you're not happy to accept what is given, you ask for no gifts please. Simple.

I am not sure why you came to a uk site then if you aren’t here and you have different cultural norms around gifts. Very confusing. Just copy an invitation you got previously. I think it’s super tacky to put anything about gifts on an actual invite - even wedding invites don’t usually get that specific right on the invitation. But I’m coming from my experience of raising kids here in Scotland - if you’re elsewhere maybe it’s different.

I think if you’re putting anything though it should be positive not negative - so when you text or whatever you could say ‘Maisie’s super into crafting just now’ instead of just ‘don’t bring your terrible plastic junk’

and honestly - really reflect on if your child would be better off just focusing on the party instead of the presents and request no gifts. If she has everything you’ve listed here she really needs nothing and contributing to consumerism in the form of wooden toys is only marginally better. She won’t be playing with wooden toys in a few years either.

Does your DD like animals? Maybe ask her if she would like people to bring dog food instead and you will drive together to an animal shelter to drop it off?

But you're expecting the kind of people you think will buy crap off Twmu to suddenly pay Vinted postage or trek around charity shops looking for something wooden.

You've been to enty of parties that have asked for specific guests so just copy those, but ask for either outdoor gifts, crafts or vouchers.

You will get plastic crap, whatever you do. We almost exclusively got stuff that were “typical boy”, that none if mine had the slightest interest in (millions of cars and superhero stuff)
I wouldn’t mind gifts if they
We always said thank you and gave the lot to a local charity who collects gifts for children in hospitals.
“no gifts please “ tends to limit the avalanche to smaller gifts.
I wouldn’t mind gifts if they were at least mildly aligned with the child’s likes, but most stuff was just whatever is stereotypically boy….

I am based in the UK.

I also posted in the Ethical Living forum, hoping that people who actually care about ethical living would answer. I purposely didn’t post in the parenting forum because I knew people would be like.

I honestly didn’t realise that people who aren’t interested in ethical living would feel the need to tell off those who are.

As I said earlier, my daughter isn’t interested in plastic crap. I know that’s hard to believe, but you can provide children with other interests and activities.

She spends most of her time outdoors. We have our own land, grow our own food, etc., so she simply has no need to sit in a room surrounded by plastic toys. It’s not because I deny them to her; it’s because she genuinely doesn’t need or want them given the lifestyle we have.

You can't be selective about presents from school friends. You could ask them not to buy gifts but to ask specifically for money or wooden toys is cheeky.

My children have Lego, magnetic blocks and all of those things. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that I simply don’t want any more?

You don’t want any more? Well, the toys would not be for you though, would they..

What would be a good gift for her?

With you on this. When my 2 were little I used to say nothing plastic or with batteries......
Futility exemplified.

If you have unused new toys I'm sure a local charity like the Sally army will find grateful recipients of them. Or a charity that does Santa for kids at Christmas.

I totally get where you are coming from. When my daughter was young we had a whole class party I sent invites saying "If you’re wondering what to get her for her birthday, she really doesn’t need any more plastic stuff! 😂 She’s got a real love of gardening at the moment, so seeds, plants or anything gardening-related would be lovely and much appreciated" she had some lovely gifts that we used throughout the year. Someone even bought her a plum tree that is still going strong. It also gave those that couldn't afford much tbe opportunity to buy a few packs of cheap seeds that were appreciated just as much. A few parents said what a great idea it was and copied.

I agree, that will avoid awkwardness.

She loves animals, baking and crafts — things like flower pressing, candle making, etc. We also make our own bath bombs and similar things.
She loves things as simple as a colouring book or animal cards.

I thought I could suggest some gardening-related gifts, but as some people mentioned, guests might bring plastic items, which wouldn’t really work for us as we don’t use any plastic in the garden.

She absolutely loves seeds, growing flowers, gardening and anything related to these hobbies.

I love this!!!

She would be over the moon if someone got her a plum tree — she absolutely loves plums!

@Nocommentisacommentwhat about this:

“P.S. If you’d like to bring a present for her to open, she would love craft supplies / crafty gifts as she’s really into this at the moment”

That invites them into the fun

I would just say silent on making any comment on no plastic toys / wooden only and donate anything you get you don’t want. It will just annoy people otherwise.

I got a really weird prescriptive gift list once for a baby shower and it just left a bad taste. “No” cuz just seems ungracious and judgey even if it’s understandable

If you say pre owned you’re likely to get people “gifting” the junk they want out of their own house! So I would avoid that!

I would say no gifts too. Went to a party with DGD recently and it said this, the mum didn’t want landfill shit. We put cash in the card anyway, I’d say that’s a win win for the kid and mum.

Perfectly said