What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

Either request ‘no gifts please’ or accept anything with good grace.

I get it op, I used to hate plastic tatt.

Cheap plastic toys that never get used or break easily.

My sons were never interested in anything like that, but for some people it is all that they can afford and I felt awful that it was never used.

Maybe the invite could say something like..... If you are considering buying x a birthday gift, please would you considered buying her some board games, craft items, or a small value gift voucher for the local toy shop.

This is good advice.

No, I wouldn’t do this. Either say nothing at all or specify no gifts please. Anything else will not be well received.

You seem upset that the general consensus is you can't specify what presents your daughter is given.
Get her little things to open yourself - little hair accessories, bubble bath, new pyjamas, etc - as any child loves opening presents, and ask for small donations to the NSPCC or whatever in lieu of presents from other people. You can explain to your daughter why and what the charity is about.
Or accpet the presents she is given with good grace and get her to donate them herself to a local childrens hospital.
There is joy to be gained from giving as well as receiving and she will have her presents from you as well.

Of course! But the main consensus here is that she’ll have to accept what’s given !

This. The eldest of my 4 nieces has parenrs who insisted on this. By the time her 3 sisters appeared one by one her parents had, in their own words, had grown up a bit. She looked with envy on their colourful, fun toys and said aged 9 I would have loved toys like that when I was their age.' Her parents were mortified and very sad and now avoid 'worthy wooden' for their grandchildren!

Agree with this

i would also gently point out that it comes across as quite high maintenance to expect parents who are potentially struggling for money, time or are absolutely winging it with the mental load of all the things it takes to keep a family running (particularly when they have older siblings who also have sports/music/party invitations at weekends). I definitely know of people who have forgotten a party altogether or got the date wrong and frequently have to get something after work on a Friday for a party on Saturday morning.

I get it with the less unwanted plastic thing. we live somewhere small with independent shops. These days I tend to do book tokens or toy shop vouchers for our local shops for children I don’t know well. Or a decent T-shirt from next or M&S. But that is my choice. I think if you said no plastic and no books that would be extremely difficult.

As others have said, this could come across as ungrateful and fussy. Also, there's a slight arrogance associated with asking for no plastic toys, giving the impression that you think your kids are too good for plastic tat. It would be a bit like going to a dinner party and requesting no processed foods.

NO. Accept what they give with good grace and donate it or throw it out. Do not be that precious, virtue signaling parent. And for God’s sake don’t ask for money. That’s rude and embarrassing. Even if you tell people no plastic toys or books, some will do it anyway. Shut up, celebrate, and thank your guests.

'Instead of presents this year we are asking for plants for DC's friendship garden'.

No gifts. Lots of plants. Everyone's happy.

You're missing the point and in doing so managing to come across as somewhat superior.

You can't dictate what people buy. You just can't. It's monumentally rude.
So either you accept what you're given or you say no gifts please.

This.

NO. Asking for cash is trashy.

Posters said it's best to keep or simple and say no gifts at all and your response is how we must continue to buy plastic tat no one needs. You already said your child has lots of toys and books etc so I don't get white saying no gifts, thank you is an issue.

"Give me cash". 🤮
From a rich person 🤮🤮.

Word it positively. 'If you are looking for gift ideas, wooden toys are very welcome (including secondhand ones), as are crafts, board games, poster paints and vouchers to the book shop!'

I'm sick of buying £15 of crap from Smyth's that I would hate to receive - why not break the cycle?

I can't imagine ever trying to dictate what other people's children give to my children! That said, I tend to ask other parents what their child would like/is interested in. You're just going to have to suck it up and accept what people give. It's really kind and generous of other parents to buy presents for their children's friends.

She doesn't have to accept it.
She can ask for no gifts.
She could donate it all to a women's refuge. I suspect if they've had to leave their home and probably most of their worldly goods cos some bellend man has been knocking them about they won't find a Kerplunk set quite as insulting.

Give me strength.

We received an invitation that stated they had signed up to the Party Pact with a QR code to the website.
It simply stated no gifts, ir secondhand or homemade gifts would be appreciated.

I assume they'll have some wording on the pact website https://nocrapparties.org/#parties

I tried to encourage people not to buy presents at all but they will do it no matter what, I think you just have to accept that your child will probably love all the plastic tat and it is for a very short time in their lives. I spent a fortune on beautiful wooden heirloom toys and they were very expensive mistakes because the kids paid no heed to them but my shelves looked pretty 🤣

Just to add, it gives kids great joy to pick a gift for their friends and for family members to have kids to shop for is fun.
Anything you genuinely won't use can be regifted or donated at a Christmas appeal or food bank, there will always be people grateful for it.

I think this is your issue really. It’s very hard to do that here. The whole concept of this is considered rude.

I don’t need more plastic tat in my house either - or tbh just more stuff. What it’s made of is almost irrelevant. We also have loads of books. So when I get asked from school parents about birthday presents I’ll give them ideas. I’ll suggest putting £1 in a card towards a day out (people always put £10 in but I would never ask for that!) or an activity. Colouring paper, craft stuff she will use.
But I wait for them to ask. My friends said they wouldn’t be offended if I had but they’re close mates.

Just donate any toys you don't like? I don't think you can really say anything without seeming rude.

My children seem to love plastic toys... They pay far more attention to them than the beautiful wooden ones.

I think to ask for certain things ie money is bad form. However you could casually mention if anyone is looking for ideas ahe does love arts and crafts and leave it at that. Anything you deem unworthy you can donate to a charity shop, although I would take to slightly out of your immediate area just in case to avoid upsetting someone.