What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

I totally relate OP. My DDs are teens now but I was really very fussy about the toys that they had. Weirdly a really basic, molded rocking horse from IKEA was the most played with toy that they owned. And the only one allowed in the lounge 😂 so it was a car, a bus, a spaceship, a horse … but I chose all their toys really carefully 🤷🏼‍♀️ for birthdays I let them open the presents, I decided if they were things I wanted to keep and dealt with them accordingly …

This. Anything else and you’re turning it into a wedding list scenario that looks grabby

but according to op, you're meant to going out specifically to scout the shops to buy her daughter the perfect present! not going 5.... girl.... this pont toy I have in my box upstairs.

Receive all presents gratefully and when DD has finished playing with them donate them to charity!

After gauging your communication style, I'd suggest "Dear Peasants, I understand you lack taste and revel in plastic but please don't buy my daughter any of the crap you'd give your own children. My child simply isn't interested in lower-grade materials."

Nobody will be shocked.

Spot on. Or go all out with saying no presents at all.

why don’t you just put No toys or books please as we have too many of both but crafting and gardening items would be very welcome!
I wouldn’t have an issue receiving that on an invite, infact it would make life a lot easier knowing what to look for

we just suggested a donation to a children’s charity one year. It went down really well.

dont be a dick OP

"but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open."

If you only feel a bit bad for depriving your 4/5yr old something she will really enjoy then I think you have more to worry about than plastic toys.

I get it, I really do. We've massively reduced plastics and chemicals in our house but let some of that offset the plastic she may receive. I'm just imaging her little face asking why nobody gave her presents.

None of us want more!!

Like I don’t want more socks from Auntie Mary at Christmas and I don’t want more fucking bottles of Baileys from the in-laws.

But none of us are rude enough to tell them.

Just say thank you and donate it.

Just say, we would love cash in a card or a gift voucher as we’re hoping to buy one gift for her for our garden

or start an Amazon wish list

The problem with asking for no plastic gifts is that it sounds very judgemental. Other parents will feel judged for buying plastic gifts for your daughter previously or other children recently. In all probability, other parents will have been buying this stuff for each other's children since they were old enough to go to parties and it will come across as you think you are a little bit more "worthy" than they are.

I wouldn't want a house full of duplicate plastic toys either - I totally get it, but if you want your daughter to have things to unwrap, you are much better donating the things you don't want to one of the Christmas toy appeals where I'm sure they will be gratefully relieved.

At the beginning of the thread, I was under the impression that you didn't want the plastic toys as it wasn't very eco friendly.

The more I read your responses, the more you sound ungracious. The post about cheap temu items as opposed to £20 lego sets makes you sound awful.

If you want to sound like a money grabber and rude, say you would prefer money. But don't sit on here disagreeing with everyone's advice as it isn't the same as your POV. Not many are going to say "yes that's fine, ask people for money".

Not everyone is able to afford to put cash in. Some people are senaible with their money and buy token gifts months in advance. And this child is 5 for goodness sakes. Does it really matter if she ends up with a few plastic dolls? You are only invitig 15 kids, not like your home will be drowning in barbies and my little ponies.

I don’t see the issue of accepting the gifts. Your DD loves opening the gifts so let her and then see what she actually wants to play with. The rest goes to charity or something. No “plastic crap” left cluttering your home and a good lesson for DD about giving to others and making sure we only have what we need

I absolutely agree with you Op, I don't see a problem with putting on an invite 'we are trying to stop using plastic as a household, so appreciate gifts that are biodegradable or natural products'.

You have been given some good suggestions about wording - I think if you frame it as giving suggestions based on your DD's interests then you won't offend and you stand a good chance of getting gifts DD will love and are aligned to your ethical stance. Obviously it won't be guaranteed.

Give it a charity shop or a hospital or playgroup.
or a women’s refuge.
there’s loads of places to give stuff to.
it’s not hard to figure out

You may be my new favourite person.

Unfortunately @Nocommentisacomment your post is showing as trending - so people read and reply without noticing that you posted in ETHICAL LIVING - where, of course, you expected to get sensible replies.

I do get the problem people are highlighting though, it can be incredibly difficult to avoid plastic, particularly in the price bracket of typical birthday presents for a child - plastic is everywhere, even a nice set of paints are likely to be housed in plastic containers and/or contain plastic in the paint itself. Disposing of Acrylic paint water is an ethical issue for many artists.

I would probably say something along the lines of "If you were thinking of getting X a small gift, then that's very kind of you, these are things she is interesting in ATM, gardening, baking, crafts...... Like many people we are trying to minimise how much plastic we have in the house and garden, so plastic free would be appreciated - but we know how hard that can be to achieve so please don't agonise over it! Looking forward to seeing you on ....." etc.

Oh for goodness sake, you graciously accept whatever people wish to buy as a token gift. I’m assuming it’s a birthday party with school friends.

Honestly no parent is gunna like being told what to buy or what not to buy. You will be known ans ‘that mum.’ End of the day it’s gifts for her to open and feel special. If she has too many and doesn’t want for anything, just regift (just not to the same child who gifted the gift first that would be very awkward 🙈🤣)

But the point is that it ends up in landfill - it's not biodegradable and there are very good alternatives to plastic. It's stupid to buy non biodegradable crap when there are very many other choices.

I asked family member the same for the forst 2 years after having my first, determined to only have wooden toys. I ended up with some nice wooden toys I got myself. The cheap in-laws didn't want to get nice wooden toys so opted for amazon 'wooden' toys which were mostly covered in crap plastic paint or some other nasty things.
The take home for me was, you can't get them to get earth-friendly toys!! Even my party bags were plastic free..I think it's a lost cause on majority and also there's the cost implementation so people won't get the nice wooden toys!
Now I ask the in-laws specifically not to get anything as it'll always be plastic!

I think you can't expect the party invite to really say what you'd like other than no presents. Shame really! I'd take a vinted wooden toy anyway over a plastic toy so I do get it.

This exactly. Donate duplicate books to a school or food bank to be passed on. Toys to a charity shop. Teach your child to be gracious and to appreciate peoples kindness.

I think if this was a younger child (one or two yrs old) I would say “no gifts please”, as others have suggested, as they wouldn’t really know any difference. However, as your child will be turning five, I would worry about this! It’s possible that the benefits (I.e. not having plastic toys in the house) outweigh the risks/cons (her possible confusion/upset, and subsequent impact on her self-esteem). Surely she will wonder why all her friends get presents at their parties but she doesn’t. My kids absolutely love going to the supermarket to choose a personalised gift (usually plastic as the wooden toys selection is quite limited!). I did the whole wooden toys thing when mine were babies but I think they get to an age where they want other toys, so I would encourage you to be open to what they might offer! Barbies/lego/baby dolls/board games/play-doh/craft kits/marble runs/magna-tiles are all brilliant (plastic) toys!