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Original poster

Paying school fees-where do I even begin? Am an sp and broke-help!!!

136 replies

Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 12:40

I know this has been done so many times but I think I may be searching the wrong threads as I can't find anything! The plan to send dd to local state until she is 7 has fallen flat as we are not christian enough (due to having to take time out from church attendance to care for terminally ill mother at the weekends fgs!) so am going to have to send her from 4. Where do I even begin with paying the fees-I will be on a good salary when she is 7/8 as I will have qualified as a barrister, but at the moment am entirely broke. However, don't want to send her to bad school where she will learn bad habits until 7 and then get ridiculed by the other children when she does change (which is what happened to me at 13). HELP!!! The prep school is ideal-we looked round at Christmas and she adored it, the headmistress adored her, and she can stay until 18, on top of which it is brilliant in it's league rankings. Help help help help help!!!

OP posts:
talkingmongoose · 13/03/2008 12:46

Can family help? Or her father? if not, I'm afraid you may have to 'cut your coat according to your cloth', as my Mum used to say, and not send her privately until you can afford it.

Most primary schools are pretty cosy places, there won't be much damage done.

Playingthewaitinggame · 13/03/2008 12:46

Not an expert at all but if it matters to you that much and you will be on a good salary in 3 years you could take out a loan? Its only 3 years that you will struggle to find the money for so the loan would not need to be that large? I know suggesting taking on debt isn't great but if it is to tide you over for a short term period then it could be a solution?

LadyMuck · 13/03/2008 12:49

Not sure where to even start with this tbh.

Firstly your assumption about being on a good salary when she is 7/8 as you will have qualified as a barrister. Really? Which area are you specialising in? Because whilst I know plenty of minted barristers, I also know several who are not that minted. I wouldn't count your chickens before they have hatched.

Secondly, have you looked at all of the available state schools? Are they really all "that" bad? And what about your chances on the waiting list for your preferred state school? Home environment is still the main determining factor for a child's eductaional success, and changing schools at 7 is very different from a change at 13.

Finally, if school fees are the only conceivable option, then sourcs that I have seen include grandparents, remortgaging and getting second jobs. There are some educational charities out there who help in exceptional circumstances, but I doubt that the trustees will take someone on at 4 tbh.

snorkle · 13/03/2008 12:50

I think it's highly unlikely she'll be ridiculed at age 7 if she transfers to private then. What bad habits do you think she'll pick up?

Blu · 13/03/2008 12:50

Personally I find ridiculing other children to be as bad a habit as any!

Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 12:50

Ooh I never thought of a loan. What exactly do dc's do at school until they are 7? Do they do nouns/verbs etc or a lot of sandpitting? All I can remember is sewing, using the sandtray and doing some maths. Would I be able to bring her in line with private ed myself at home? My mum has just died and left me the house, which I am going to have to sell, and was going to put the money in trust until I qualified. Do you think I could make a provision for school fees?

OP posts:
PrincessPeaHead · 13/03/2008 12:52

barristers aren't on salaries
and the majority of them exist on enormous overdrafts, certainly for the first few years if not for decades
you don't actually think because you get a brief worth £500 anyone is actually going to GIVE you £500 within the following 6 months do you?
Sounds to me as though you can't afford private fees certainly at primary level. You'll just have to do the best you can at state and give her as much support as possible (she'll be fine) and review things later on.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2008 12:53

I think you are probably projecting your own experiences onto your child.
are you seriously saying that the only alternative to the prep school is a bad school with bad children who will teach her bad habits - at 4!
have you looked at any other schools?

Blu · 13/03/2008 12:53

Oh, DS is in Yr 2 and does a lot of contemporary curriculum skills - such as 'effective drug dealing', 'unarmed combat', swearing and spitting in different cultures', 'ASBO Club' is a popular extra-curricular activity...hardly any sandpitting at al.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2008 12:54

oh and I am a barrister and broke
though not actually practising, in fairness

Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 12:54

He he, that is true, if she is ridiculed then it is a BAD school anyway! I am completely going on my experiences, so that prob isn't a good idea, but when I transferred I didn't know what a noun or an adjective was, had never done any languages and didn't know my times tables, so was thought of as stupid by the rest of the children, and even though I caught up pretty quickly I was still thought of as not "one of them". They had made their friendship groups too so I found it very hard to get accepted, and would die if dd felt the same way.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2008 12:55

poppet I don't think you are being entirely serious are you

LadyMuck · 13/03/2008 12:56

If you didn't know your 2x tables by the age of 13, then yes that is a rather large gap.

FranSanDisco · 13/03/2008 13:00

How awful - a state education . My 2 beautifully bright children are now talking like gansta rappers because we are unable to afford private. It's so unfair! Is this for real?

Iota · 13/03/2008 13:01

hang on - you are broke but you have just inherited a house?

I think you have found the answer

Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:02

I knew my two's, just nothing above that-ha ha! Come on girls, there's no need to be quite so harsh-I just found moving from a state school that wasn't one of the greatest, or even the most mediocre, to a private school very difficult, and I am not saying that state schools are bad, just that the ones that are under subscribed in our area, ie the ones with places now that we have been turned down by ours, aren't as good as I would like and education means a lot to me.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2008 13:02

yeah, 93% of the population getting absolutely no education at all.
no wonder the country is going to the dogs.
don't worry, though, because it does give the private school educated children a subject to ridicule.
no, I don't think it can be for real, tbh

NoNickname · 13/03/2008 13:02

Can't you put the money from your Mum's house into a high interest easy access account? We have an e-savings account frfom NatWest and it gives something like a 5% return.

If your Mum's house is worth £200k, that would give you £10k a year in interest alone. Should be plenty??

Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:04

Thank you nonickname, at least someone isn't taking offence! I will look into that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:04

Thank you nonickname, at least someone isn't taking offence! I will look into that.

OP posts:
FranSanDisco · 13/03/2008 13:06

Ok so you're going to be a barrister and you couldn't work that one out. I'm glad I'm law abiding and won't be relying on you to win my freedom. Are you sure private education did you any good

dramaqueen · 13/03/2008 13:08

Sorry but if you have just inherited a house then what exactly is your problem about funding school fees? I don't understand (and I went to a private school)

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2008 13:17

well I think we have pretty mild tbh, given your OP is all about how you don't want you dd to go to a state school for two years because she is going to be mixing with the hoi polloi and picking up bad habits
let me give you a tip - this might be the reason many people choose a private education, but most of them are too polite and discreet to mention it

Original poster
Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:18

Because MOST of the house, i.e about 95% of it is going to have to be sold to pay off the mortgage, as my mum tragically died very young, and very recently, so unlike some of you on here I have failed to look upon it as a money gaining oportunity. Look, I'm sorry I ever asked, I didn't mean to offend anyone, I was simply trying to find something out, which I won't try and do again, I promise!

OP posts:
iheartdusty · 13/03/2008 13:21

sell the house & buy a school?

(see threads about recent TV documentary)

if you still have 3 years until you qualify as a barrister then presumably you will be studying full time until then, will have to pay for the Bar Vocational course yourself, and have yet to find a pupillage let alone a tenancy. Someone in that situation would be unlikely to be debt free for another 6-8 years.

I am unconvinced of your authenticity.