Paying school fees-where do I even begin? Am an sp and broke-help!!!

[Justtwosecondspoppet]

I know this has been done so many times but I think I may be searching the wrong threads as I can't find anything! The plan to send dd to local state until she is 7 has fallen flat as we are not christian enough (due to having to take time out from church attendance to care for terminally ill mother at the weekends fgs!) so am going to have to send her from 4. Where do I even begin with paying the fees-I will be on a good salary when she is 7/8 as I will have qualified as a barrister, but at the moment am entirely broke. However, don't want to send her to bad school where she will learn bad habits until 7 and then get ridiculed by the other children when she does change (which is what happened to me at 13). HELP!!! The prep school is ideal-we looked round at Christmas and she adored it, the headmistress adored her, and she can stay until 18, on top of which it is brilliant in it's league rankings. Help help help help help!!!

Poppet I am in exactly the same situation. We decided to send ds - it is a complee struggle but we are so pleased with the school. Ds settled in so quickly and is doing really well.

sorry about your mother, x-posted.

but if it is true that you will qualify as a barrister in 3 years time there are still many, many hurdles after that before you could expect to support your family from your earnings.

Thank you to those of you who are being genuine and are offering help, it really is helping. Yes you do accumulate more debts when qualifying, but you do get a fair bit of help from your chambers and the inns nowadays to stop the bright youngs things going to the commercial firms. Which would be an option if money was an issue then too.

Try asking the school if they have any bursaries available. They may be able to help you with part fees. Some schools also do some sort of direct debit which works out cheaper than paying the three term fees separately. There may be a local educational trust who are happy to offer support.

Do go and speak to the school though. Explain your situation and see what they come up with. DO you know if they are over subscribed / looking to fill gaps?

look round more schools, home educate, do not presume that all state schools are the same, do not presume that your child's experience will be the same as yours

move house

maybe your mums house is in a better catchment

i went to a private school ,there were plenty of bad habits and nastiness to be picked up there too..

i think you need to think this through longer term, there is more to private school than the fees, the uniform , sports kits.. different ones for hockey, netball , lacrosse , tennis etc.... school trips etc....

also, this is preusming you pass everything, qualify and a get job and then get lots of high quality briefs

I'm not sure if they are over-subscribed but they are really really keen to have her, so I will see if I can book in to have a chat with the bursar and explain. Thank you wriggle, and thank you Jazzicatz

Lulu-are you allowed to move house and re-apply if you have already put your choices in and found out? Mum's house is the other end of the country so that wouldn't really help but was a great idea.

Not sure why everyone is give the OP such a hard time - sitaution seems to be very good state is full, other options not that great and so she is exploring private sector.

Very sorry to hear about your mum. Have you spoken to the school about bursaries? Am not sure they would offer scholarships at such a young age unfortunately. Do remember that the fees will go up each year, 10-15% is a good estimate if you are in London so factor that into your decisions. Is her dad around to help at all?

Are there any state schools outside the borough that you prefer?

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I'm not in London, so don't know if I'm allowed to look outside our town for schools, what is the situation in London with borough's? Thank you for reading the post correctly. All I was trying to say was that I would rather my dd go to a school I am happy with than a school I am not keen on, and therefore if I have to pay for it so be it, I just want to find out if there is any way I can do that, and you helpful ones have given me some pointers, thank you.

The estate isn't nearly worth enough for inheritance tax! If it was there would be no problem!

I think it may have been the 'shock horror' tone of your question which put some people's backs up rather than the query itself. Like not going to private school is the end of the world as we know it...

am sure if you move then you have to reapply especially if you go out of the area.

i hope this gets sorted, it is obviously very important to you, maybe you need to get to the heart of why it is...especially if it is going to mean long term sacrifice

as i posted before, ther eis more to private school than fees and plenty of bad habits there too

good luck

I think you are allowed to look outside your borough/town. Also if you have been to church etc there may be other religious schools that have a wider catchment area. For example our local catholic school accepts children from about 6 boroughs.It is worth explaing to vicar/priest/school the reason for non attendance at church? Does not seem very compassionate of them!

You are just trying to do the best for your dd I don't see why you are attracting so much vitriol to be honest!

sorry accidentally quoted REM there

I really would advise against putting your child into a school you can't yet afford at this stage.

You have no guarantee regards your future earnings and I am afraid Barristers, although may earn an very good living, are not guaranteed a high income, and as a newly self employed barristers you may fnd getting loans, etc difficult at that time too if you find yourself still struggling.

School fees raise greatly each year, by as much as 10% a year. Uniform can really add up, even from pre prep years. Then you will need to factor in child care costs - private schools have longer holidays than the state secotr, and many holiday clubs, if the school doesn't offer it, will not take these extra weeks into account. Then there will be the extras - like you get in state school - so clubs, trips away, etc.that on top of fees, ay be just enough to push you over the edge.

If you can't afford the school now, then netxt year is going to be even more difficult, and so on. It isn't worth the amount of stress this will cause, believe me. You will have enough on with the training and pupilages as you become a barrister.

Do some more research into the schools around you. Get your name on the waiting list for the school you did not get into, and keep checking on your status on that list. Sorry, not what you want to hear, but I don't see how you can send your child to a school you simply can't afford.

It may well be that, quite simply, you've not got the money. That's the thing with private schools, they cost money. Not everyone has the money to pay. Er, the end.

Yes. I'm not attacking anyone but this does kind of illustrate the unfairness of the education system. If you really are claiming the available state schools are rubbish and you can't afford the private school the situation is very unfair. Just as it is for the majority of people. A good education should be the right of everybody not just those who can afford it.

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Strangely enough my seven year old seems to be quite au fait with her two times tables despite her state education.

god dont get me started on parents who use the local state until 7

either send them to preprep or forget it

[furious]