Paying school fees-where do I even begin? Am an sp and broke-help!!!

[Justtwosecondspoppet]

I know this has been done so many times but I think I may be searching the wrong threads as I can't find anything! The plan to send dd to local state until she is 7 has fallen flat as we are not christian enough (due to having to take time out from church attendance to care for terminally ill mother at the weekends fgs!) so am going to have to send her from 4. Where do I even begin with paying the fees-I will be on a good salary when she is 7/8 as I will have qualified as a barrister, but at the moment am entirely broke. However, don't want to send her to bad school where she will learn bad habits until 7 and then get ridiculed by the other children when she does change (which is what happened to me at 13). HELP!!! The prep school is ideal-we looked round at Christmas and she adored it, the headmistress adored her, and she can stay until 18, on top of which it is brilliant in it's league rankings. Help help help help help!!!

Ah, but we also get Free Fruit Shoots for the Underserving.

yes lack of sport is often given as reason

I lordy lord - I suvived in the state sector until I was eleven !!

and then I turned to the dark side in a rather academic private school, courtesy of the direct grant system.

So save yourself some dosh and do state primary until 11

pooka because they cannot afford/are too miserly to pay out for preprep

I feel v strongly about this as now 5 children in dd1s class (of 15) are going private next year

that makes this HARD for my child so it annoys me thoroughly, especially as it is an excellent state primary

And do the kids really give a shit where their mates were before?

DS only discovered at the weekend that the lad who's been his best mate for the last 18 months went to private school.

Just didn't come up in conversation before.

Just looked back and realised my spelling mistake - 'percieved' should read 'perceived'.

You see that's what happens when you have to make do with a state education

As a former modern languages teacher, I can only whole-heartedly approve of Latin. Learn Latin and you can easily pick up Spanish, Italian and Romanian to begin with.

Unless it is now UnPC to approve of modern languages as well -you'd think it was the way they're being removed from the curriculum, reduced in content and quality, and made non-compulsory at boorishly young ages.

I like the inference that by going private you will get a better education amongst a better class of people. Rubbish!

Just like there are some poor state schools, there are some poor private schools too and all schools have folk with whom you may not want to mix.

Have you actually looked at the schools that you want to avoid or is it just that you don't want her mixing with the clientale?

Out of interest when you qualify as a barrister, will you be as discerning of the clientale that you represent (degree educated as oppose to those who can just about count to 10)?

And another thing. As a lawyer, I meet loads of barristers who are onthe bones of their arses for years and years.

My friend is dead broke and blagged 2 of her boys into private school with massive bursaries and scholarships.
They are secondary level though and can demonstrate particular skills (sports).

I would steer away from borrowing against future earnings, this could backfire and you may end up having to pull a child out of private back into state, this is way worse than going the other way.

Where I live the infants and junior schools are excellent and I looked at both state and private and decided state was best for my DD. I will review my choice with each subsequent school move in case this changes.
I have a private school down as my second choice as it genuinely was not £10k a year better than the state one.

It is not unusual for a child to go to a state school and then into private in my area.
However, medium ability children who go to prep schools are more prepared for entrance exams than state children and then you could try tutoring. This is cheaper than full time private.
If you are a barrister in training then you are likely very clever and could even do the tutoring yourself. Once you have established yours child's abilities (at age 7 or even 11) you could then look to the private sector and, if your financial situation is not great, ask for bursaries.

Please note that treating the state sector as "terrible" and the private sector as the only option does reinforce the view that they are simply "social clubs" for the children of the rich and provide no other benfit to the wider community. This view, if continued will result in the removal of private school's charity status and many would close.
This is very hard on the private schools who genuinely make an effort to be community focussed.
I spoke at length to the head of the prep school about the children sitting entrance tests at 7 for the local private schools and she told me that the school had a good sucess rate but there had been children "returned to the state sector" which is code for the fact EITHER they were dim and not able to get into the highly selective private schools round our way OR their parents failed to budget for fees ongoing.
Please note school fees are more annually than a mortgage and you have 14 years of them, is the private sector really worth £10k a year more than the local state schools?

If you do decide to borrow there are firms who specialise in school funding although a mortgage extension may be better value, schools give you a discount if you hand over £20,000 as a lump sum!!!!!!!

good friend of mine is a barrister.

1st from Oxford.

very smart and articulate.

pupillage in well-known lefty chambers.

has still not made any money after 5 years.

you need a different plan (and a different attitude, frankly).

Crikey Enid. What a shame for your dd. That makes me feel rather cross. And in terms of being committed to your child's school (particularly if is a good one), using it as a stop gap seems wrong to me.

Does everybody actually think it's normal for a barely 7 yr old to have no play time outside mid-morning and virtually no PE? If so, it's no wonder there is so much obesity in the UK. My son back then needed at least the equivalent of a 4 or 5 mile run every day just to sleep at nights.

no I like Latin

did O level meself

it was just the perceived horror of a child not already knowing it

dh (private all the way) found this hilarious

Oh I approve of Latin. Was taught it at my decidedly mediocre state school.

I think most people don't recognise that as "normal" for a state school duchesse.

no duchesse that doesnt sound good

not my experience in the state primaries round here htough

I don't give a stuff about PE. They're out by3.15, whynot walk/cycle them home from school/take them swimming/throw them on the trampoline for half an hour?

Also he was going to be in a class of 36, which was enough motivation in itself to opt for the classes of 16-18 in the prep school.

DS at state primary

got Outstanding OFSTED last year

french is part of the curriculum, Spanish was optional extra which he did for one term, field once a week, PE once a week, 2 play times per day, optional organised sports at lunch break, emphasis on healthy eating, lots of interesting trips and visitors to the school , zero tolerance on bullying, DS has dyslexia, has loads of xtra help and one to one.....
not sure what he would gain from private school at this age except his parents being even more stressed about money!

yes we walk home (must go!)

then I make them go outside if it is not raining

they swim twice a week and dd1 horserides and dd2 does ballet, we all go for long walks at weekend

they do a little dance routine in the morning at school (wake and shake)

then pe and games only twice a week

tis enough - dd1 very fit and sporty, sleeps very well

Nope, not at mine either. They seem to have rather masses of PE stuff on offer.

no, no one thinks it's normal duchesse - maybe what people think is that it is so entirely untypical of state primaries that there's no point generalising from it (ditto 36 in a class, IME)

not just the schools' job to protect children from obesity,