Divorce solidarity thread - June 2026

[Gingerbread987]

Hoping for some solidarity here.
my husband told me this morning that he wants a divorce - I’m heartbroken. Things had been rocky for a while, but I was optimistic.
anyone else in the same boat who’d like to keep me company through the process?

Gosh - I’m sorry to hear that. That’s really cruel.

a lovely idea about the book though - what’s too of your list?

Thank you! Yes I think so - starting to have a few ‘glimmers’ which felt very far away a few weeks ago

That sounds really rough, I’m sorry you’re living in that situation

Thank you for your kind reply - yes every day feels sadness, I think it will get better when we actually separate homes......this feels like endless night ...or at least endless twilight..... I have suggested to STBEXH to go stay with his parents a while as they do have some caring needs and are hoping he will, mostly emotional needs as in their 80s and lonely , and win win as we get some space as well.....

Has yours moved out yet?

Hi @LilyDaisyRoseFern . I've not been able to get him to leave. Legally I can't kick him out and he tells him he needs somewhere to live. He doesn't want to go to her (probably because she lives hundreds of miles away). He just gets worse. He met her on a relationship forum on reddit. Apparently he went to go and talk about all I've done wrong and he met her. Also found out that when he goes to see her they book a hotel for the day. He's not the man I married. When i found out all this, he then just acts like nothing has happened and that we're all happy.

I'm definitely going to start proceedings. I've got a solicitor.

He sounds insane ..... how old are the DC, do they know ....older DC/teens would be outraged too if they knew.....guessing your DC are younger....

Stay strong @Adviceseeker35 :(

Is he hoping he can keep both women do you think @Adviceseeker35 like an open marriage?

Is the OW married?

@LilyDaisyRoseFern Our son is 13 and he is not happy with his dad. Though my husband said he didn't need to know.

You say open marriage, two years ago he said he'd have one but wouldn't out of respect to me and that he didn't believe in marriage vows.

I think he likes his two separate worlds. His fantasy world with her a couple of times a month with no responsibility, and a family life with us.

Wish mine could / would do that !

I asked mine to move out - more to give me space to heal and focus on being the best mum to our little girl but he’s refused. Why would they do that?!
such a typical move to throw something out there and then expect me to do all the sorting…

Whats the best tips for sharing a space? Especially for me, because I still love him so I can’t say no to cuddles and bed sharing etc

going to Edingburg is right up there , always a place I wanted to go but soon to be ex never wanted to. Also small things on there like , decorate bedroom and but new duvet, go gym/ exercise 3 times a week , that sort of thing.

He has not gone though ! Ignored my suggestion to go somewhere for a while so we can have some space. He is a grumpy dad as well to the DC who are both late teens (younger one yet to turn 18) but they do a better job than I do of completely being able to ignore him when they do not like what he is saying !

Do you think your H really wants to separate , if he still likes co sleeping and cuddling? actions speak louder than words

Are you sure you aren't in a similar situation to @Adviceseeker35 with a possible OW and he wants both of you ?

Are you hoping for a reconciliation on your side do you think if you still enjoy the cuddling etc?

Great idea for a list !

Perhaps we should plan a divorce solidarity MN meet up soon !

Agree @LilyDaisyRoseFern I feel he has given me no choice but to pull the plug. Mine has let me down so much I have zero respect for him and 100% resentment. I don't know where to start with why I can't bear it any longer. We have had counselling and that made me realise there was no hope. I feel I am having to keep the peace staying together until we can sell the house, as he has form for being difficult and I need his cooperation in selling. It is killing me. During the week I can keep busy with work, etc, but the weekends kill me. At least we have enough space to be in separate bedrooms. Our daughter is grown and gone away.

Totally hear you Trampauline !

I wish I had more divorced friends IRL, most of mine are happily married, and ofc I am glad for them but would be nice to have groups of women to meet up with more locally...... Has anyone tried a divorced women's circle , are they good

When he first left me my husband was still happy to hug, kids etc. Then suddenly decided we were on different pages so we had to stop unless he wanted to come near me. All in his terms.

I hope this doesn't sound horrible and cynical but when he left me people asked if there was someone else and I defended him. I was adamant he wasn't like that. But sadly I was very wrong.

I’d love to reconcile, I can’t bear the thought of shared custody.

Of Course, it’s always possible there is someone else - although I’m just not speculating the moment as I have enough thoughts running around my head.

What was your breaking point?

@Gingerbread987 @Adviceseeker35

In my case there is no proof of an actual OW - it's more like he is always belittling me, praising other women in our circle of friends and longing to spend time with them (even if they are other men's wives!)

He has just lost all respect for me, and as a result I feel the ick and feel no attraction at all for him anymore - he might want to still continue sex till we officially separate houses in a year, but I just am unable to after all the disrespect.

We have reached a passe.....no more to be said sort of ....conversations have dwinded to almost nothing on most days, so talks of fixing this seems very unlikely at this point and apart from wishing i had gotten out 10 years ago I dont seem to have any big feelings, except sadness.

What a horrible situation he's out you in. Such a cruel way to behave towards someone.

Have you taken any legal advice or thought about counselling to help build yourself back up?

Yes getting both at the moment and it is helping .....I am reading all the time about handling such situations as well, and found Yoga, meditation , mindfulness helps too

I am 2 weeks in and on the wrong side of 50. I am in shock that in 2 weeks my whole future, as I knew it has vanished. We have to sell our family home and I am struggling to find a home big enough to house myself and my children (who are now young adults). I still can't believe that this has happened and I feel like my anchor has been cut off! My H was my best friend and the person I talked to most about everything.. it is sad and tricky. Thinking of you all.

That’s horrible - the grief of losing your dreams for your future is so hard.
I also see my husband as my best friend, and that’s such a struggle.

@Gingerbread987 I get that. On the other hand would I best friend be thinking about doing such a devastating thing to you and not discuss it until the 'shot is fired'!

@Flowersandthorns so true! And if they really loved us - I think the focus would be on repair not separating. Fair enough if you’ve reached the end of the road ofc