Divorce solidarity thread - June 2026

[Gingerbread987]

Hoping for some solidarity here.
my husband told me this morning that he wants a divorce - I’m heartbroken. Things had been rocky for a while, but I was optimistic.
anyone else in the same boat who’d like to keep me company through the process?

I am in the same boat

My husband told me 3 months ago that he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue with our marriage. I like you, was absolutely devastated. He moved out last weekend but over time I have started to have more good days than bad and I never thought I’d get to this point.

I have seen a side to him I didn’t know existed over these last 3 months, it’s unbelievable.

Sending you lots of love and strength xx

My husband walked out in February and has still be living in the house while he works out what he wants. But Found out 2 weeks he's been having an affair since April last year.

As horrible as it happy to chat and keep you company. Sometimes you need the support of people you don't know but understand what you're going through.

It’s heartbreaking isn’t it.
Im finding the not knowing what the future holds for us really hard, lots of worries going round and round my head.
my toddler and I spent last week in an Air B and B but we’re all back in the family home now- waiting to see what happens next.
how have you all gone about finding a divorce solicitor?
any book or podcast recommendations?

How is everyone holding up?
Im just off to the doctors to increase my anxiety meds dose and hoping that helps me

I filed for my divorce yesterday and took back some control over my own life after having none for the last 3 months.

I got to the point where I no longer wanted to be married to my husband and did not want to drag it on needlessly after the way he’s treated me and our 4 kids.

I hope your doctor’s appointment goes well and you’re on a more therapeutic dose soon xx

wow, that’s so brave! I admire your courage.

thank you so much - apparently I have been on a child’s dose up until now!

Hope it helps @Gingerbread987. Did you have anxiety prior to this or has the situation caused it? I've had IBS symptoms for the first time in about twenty years. My sleep has also been all over the place. Everyone says look after your own mental health, but it's hard.

My husband announced a while ago that he wants to move out. He has poor mental health, is in therapy and I know that a lot of his decisions are being driven by his childhood trauma. But there is not much I can do about it if he has decided the answer is to leave. We are stuck in a kind of limbo whilst he looks for somewhere, and all the while I have it looming over me that at some point we will have to tell the children.

Me, not married but very long relationship , children at home. Not sure how to process or how to live together until house is sold which could be months / year at least

Feel both very numb and overwhelmingly sad for us all

I want to feel angry that he hasn't tried, not communicated anything very well at all so feel betrayed and let down

Thank you - yes on and off for years but he’s also prescribed me beta blockers so fingers crossed it helps through this time.

It’s impossible isn’t it, so many worries and things needing immediate attention. There’s no space to think about myself.

Do you feel he has 100% decided?

So tough.

how old are your children?

it’s so unbelievably sad isn’t it - I also feel sad about the communication.

I feel sad that I see other women be supported through their tough times, and yet my husband seems to have turned away

I hope they help and give you some space to process things. Has your husband told you why he wants a divorce?

Yes, I think my husband is decided that he wants to move out and live alone. But because of the current state of his mental health and all the things he is trying to process in therapy, he doesn't really have the capacity to deal with the logistics of it at the moment. He is just trying to get through each day.

Whereas I am naturally a planner and take comfort from knowing what is coming next and what will come after that, even if it's painful. So I find being stuck in this limbo really difficult.

Not good

I had free counselling at work after he said he was leaving me in February. And my husband genuinely couldnt understand why I needed it. I've now got a doctors appointment booked as he and his mistress stayed together in a hotel Sunday night then he came home as normal the next day happily chatting expecting normal family life . Its really shaken me up.

They've got a holiday booked now and she is officially being called his girlfriend.

Does anyone have any recommendations of any lower cost solicitors. I spoke to one and its more than I can afford. And given what he's done I feel like I need professional support.

I have pm you

I’m maybe in the same boat

it’s very new.

he’s been acting odd for a few weeks . Says he doesn’t know what’s going on in his head 🙄

he left to stay at his mums for a few days about an hour ago.

kids are older so we don’t have childcare issues

had a good rifle through his phone yesterday so I’m pretty confident there’s not someone else (but yes famous last words)

he works a lot so I’m used to being by myself. Not really feeling much atm .

been together since 16

Oh no - it's seems a familiar line - if they are having wobbles in the relationship to the point they want to leave , why are they not communicating this way before

Children are preteens and teens

I am struggling to think how we are going to manage being around each other for however long it takes to sell a house and find somewhere else - and try and parent and be 'friends' for the kids sake when I feel so hurt at the moment and am not good at pretending

Same boat here. He admitted to an affair years ago, which we, I thought worked through, and now has announced we have been working at it for years and it isn't working. Not sure how you can do that without actually telling your not so DW.

Yes it seems they work things through in their own head without expressing anything that they want/need to change , feels needs to be worked on. Kind of feels as though you didn't / don't really know who they are

I can totally relate to the IBS stuff and the insomnia. I don’t have IBS but the stress of the split and the moving out etc means I have lots of stomach pain and going to loo multiple times. Not nice but prob related to the stress hormones - and mine are through the roof!
x

Same boat. Two weeks ago husband tells me he isn’t in love with me anymore and has been unhappy for years. Never expressed this to me. My drinking has been an issue in the relationship and we have had some other small issues but I thought we were genuinely happy and that we would work through problems together. I’m currently living with my mum and he is not wanting to communicate with me whatsoever - says it wrecks his nervous system to speak to me. Feeling very vulnerable and upset after 14 years together and 9 years marriage that he’s so checked out and won’t even try to work through it.