Divorce solidarity thread - June 2026

[Gingerbread987]

Hoping for some solidarity here.
my husband told me this morning that he wants a divorce - I’m heartbroken. Things had been rocky for a while, but I was optimistic.
anyone else in the same boat who’d like to keep me company through the process?

@Gingerbread987 how old is your child?

@Gingerbread987 I hope you don’t mind me asking but are you and your husband still intimate?

How long has this been going on for you?

she’s only 2, she seems so little. I’m a child of divorced parents and I’m so scared for her future.

we haven’t been for a couple of months.

how old is your daughter

Going on on and off for a few years I would say. Ah bless your daughter, so young. My daughter has just turned 13.

has there been a final straw or a build up? Have you tried anything along the way?

13 is a tricky age

It’s been a build up rather than a final straw. We have tried everything but we are both done.
Yes I agree. 13 is a v tricky age. I am dreading having to tell her.

@Gingerbread987 we don’t hug or touch or kIss in anyway. I don’t think we have kissed for like 3/4 years.

@Gingerbread987 what was your experience as a child experiencing your parents divorce?

So are you both in agreement?

my parents divorce was awful, and still affects me to this day. I think that’s my biggest fear at the moment.

Sorry you are going through this @Gingerbread987
I have been through divorce so although I'm not currently in your situation I hope I can offer some words of advice.
I'm sure your husband does still love you but it's probably more a fond love, like a sibling, mother of his child etc. It's clearly not enough to keep him in the marriage. In my experience men will often stay in a marriage until they find another person to go to, be aware that your husband may already be out there/online looking, despite the cuddles. After divorce I found the dating world full of men who said they were sort of married but not really. They don't have the courage to actually leave without another pair of arms to fall into. Your husband sounds like he is currently coasting, having the nice warmth of a family until he's ready to leave.
My advice would be to start controlling the narrative. You are in a vulnerable position if he is the higher earner and you are the main carer. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Check all your benefit entitlements, you can claim whilst living together but separated, seek legal advice etc. I also would not be sharing a bed with a man who has told me he wants a divorce several times and has left me out of his 10 year plan! You are making life far too comfortable for him.
You could both consider counselling but I suspect he has already made his mind up.
Sending you lots of support op. You will be ok.

@Gingerbread987 I hope you don’t mind but I’ve sent you a private message. Yes we are.

@Gingerbread987 ahhh I’m so sorry to hear that:( If you don’t mind me asking what why was it so awful? At one point, our arguing was so bad that our 12 year old daughter told us to either stop or to break up!

@Flapjak I am so, so sorry to hear that you’re going through this, it’s so tough isn’t. In general terms I try to keep myself busy with exercise and catching up friends.

@Flowersandthorns so sorry to hear that. Is it definitely over for you and your husband?