Divorce solidarity thread - June 2026

[Gingerbread987]

Hoping for some solidarity here.
my husband told me this morning that he wants a divorce - I’m heartbroken. Things had been rocky for a while, but I was optimistic.
anyone else in the same boat who’d like to keep me company through the process?

I’m also a planner - and trying to find techniques to stop my mind racing. Do you have any?

Gosh, that sounds heartbreaking.
I don’t think we’re at that stage yet (but I know other people will have said that and then been proven wrong).
I feel so sad for you

Yes - I do feel rather let down that I haven’t had the chance to try and fix the marriage. And mostly the family

Gosh - 14 years! weve been together 11, and it’s so hard because I have replied on him for practical things, but I also realise I’ve relied on him for emotional support too. He really grounds me, and now when I need grounding the most I’ve lost my anchor.

it’s also strange because although he says he wants a divorce we still have kisses and cuddles and sleep in the same bed, which I think is making me hold on to hope…but he’s the kind of guy that once his minds been made up that’s it. I can’t see him having any deeper meaning behind those actions.

I found some notes from his life coaching today - and I wasn’t on the ten year plan so it’s written down in front of my face. I need to accept it.

thanks for letting me unleash all my thoughts, I have some great friends but I’m also aware hey have busy lives too and I don’t want them to get bored of this drama

Same boat here too. It was me who instigated the split, not married but been together 30 years. I'd been unhappy for a while. Feel like he has let me down so much in our life together for various reasons and I massively resent him. Living together until we can sell the house. Not great.

Has anyone tried including some nice things for themselves in their week?

I joined an online book club and I’m enjoying losing myself in a book. I also used Chat GPT to make me a new outfit so hopefully that will make me feel a bit better in myself when I’m wearing it

Thanks for joining us A sending love

I bought a dress as well and am getting some new shoes. I think that going for a massage is really good as it’s relaxing and all that, I like the Thai ones with hot stones and whatnot but maybe not in the current weather! I’ve started knitting a big wooly blanket and it’s nice to have a project. Knitting is relaxing as well x

Beauty treatments and have got an expensive hair appointment booked in - and having a wardrobe overhaul - thinking about what sort of hobby I can take up where I can meet people and have some fun

Hi all. I’m also going through a separation and hope you don’t mind me joining. I have a terrible habit of being my own worse enemy and not being very good at self-care. Any ideas how to overcome this?

I am just trying to get through each day and keep distracted . If I think about past I start to think what I / we could have have differently to not get to this point ,which is upsetting if I think too far ahead in the future then there is the feeling of loss of that too,. At the moment we are stuck with each other until we sell the house so any tips on staying sane, communication, boundaries would be helpful for me , I am finding i can barely talk to him at the moment as having small talk with someone you have known and cared about for decades is horrible and leaves me feeling really disconnected

You’re very welcome!
what’s your story?
My husband said this morning that he loves me very much - but he still wants a divorce. This is the third time he’s told me he is unhappy but previously I had post natal depression and couldn’t really take it on board. The anger is starting to come through now, surely if he did love me (and also our child) then he’d at least try? What do you all think?

@Flapjak I completely relate to this. He told me on Sunday and then went away back on Sunday. We will then have to live together. I am trying to make my bedroom into a kind of bedsit where I can spend the evening. We have older children and by Christmas they will all have left home. Interesting timing on his part......

Yes , if there is love there, why wouldn't you try. I think many men are just too lazy to put in the work to reconnect and expect us to do it all

I think you’ve hit the nail
on the head there!

One month-in here, every day gets slightly better after the initial shock but it's still hard. I have found that leaning on friends, distracting myself and accepting my emotions (rather than pushing them away) have really helped.

That’s good advice, was it a total shock for you?

It’s all so hard isn’t it. I’m sorry to hear about your post natal depression @Gingerbread987 that’s very tough. Was/is your husband supportive? I think that sometimes it takes a crisis for the truth to emerge as life tends to take over. What we all should be doing is checking in with each other every week and having date nights etc but certainly with me that has all stopped. As a family unit with our daughter we get along fine. Problem is when we’re on our own. I find myself lying in bed in the middle of the night wondering what the hell I am doing. I love my wife is the mother of our daughter, but our marriage is now very imbalanced and no intimacy for over 3 years. I am craving touch and intimacy and I’m sure she must be as well.

Then why not initiate intimacy?

Oh no, we’re way past that.

Thank you, that’s kind words. No not at all! He just thinks I’m mean. I’ve only recently got my antidepressant dose right and he’s decided he’s had enough so what can you do.

i can empathise with the family unit dynamics, and that’s what upsets me the most I think. Although I do also have financial worries too.

im sorry you’re in this position. When you say you love your wife, do you mean romantically or as a friendship?

@Gingerbread987 as a friendship only sadly. There is no intimacy anymore.

What are your financial worries @Gingerbread987 ?

I think this is what my husband is feeling, he loves me but he wants a divorce. It’s sad because when he says that I still feel like there’s hope.

Hes a high earner and I’ve been at home with our baby for a few years so it all feels very uncertain.

but like they say, it takes two people to make a relationship work and one to end up.

have you spoken to your wife?

Yeah we have spoken loads. No one chooses to be in this position of course. We have had some massive arguments as well. My wife is a very high earner whilst I earn a decent salary. I am just at a point at the age of 47 looking around thinking is this it? I can’t be in a marriage with no sex or intimacy. We aren’t a match sexually.