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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

should your ex only be issued with vouchers

116 replies

curi0us1 · 04/07/2018 22:59

Hi all, just a quick question, if you pay a huge amount of CSM to your ex, do you think this should be paid in vouchers for clothing, food, housing etc, rather than being paid in cash, reason being that it may be used in a manner not in the best interests of your children. thanks for your time

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 04/07/2018 23:02

Absolutely not.

MyYoniFromHull · 04/07/2018 23:03

WTAF
of course not

PhilODox · 04/07/2018 23:05

Gosh, I didn't realise banks sold vouchers for mortgages now... Hmm

Alaaya · 04/07/2018 23:05

Completely not. What a vile idea.

FissionChips · 04/07/2018 23:06
Wine
meditrina · 04/07/2018 23:09

Dreadful idea.

Voucher systems simply don't work. It adds to costs (fancy paying even more, OP, to cover the admin?) reduces efficiency and might not meet the actual spending priorities. No use having vouchers for food, clothing, housing when actually what you need right now is the boiler fixed and a tank of petrol

Original poster
curi0us1 · 04/07/2018 23:11

thanks for your reply, but could this be explained better as to why not.

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 04/07/2018 23:13

Because it’s a method of control. Once the money is handed over it’s not yours anymore and can and should be spent as the RP sees fit. Ok there might be a few who don’t use it to benefit the children but the vast majority do.

C0untDucku1a · 04/07/2018 23:15

What an incredibly controlling idea and does nothing other than show what a terrible partner the ex was.

Op is your ex still trying to control you? Or his new partner?

Battleax · 04/07/2018 23:15

Your ex is an adult. If you think she’s neglecting your child, follow the appropriate steps, otherwise pay what you owe and stop being a control twunt.

IWantMyHatBack · 04/07/2018 23:15

Because the costs associated with feeding housing and clothing kids aren't always to do with buying food, clothes, and paying the rent/mortgage.

General house repairs, broken car, yet another £10 for some random thing at school.

Oh, and it's controlling as fuck and assumes the resident parent can't manage money, or somehow needs guiding in the 'correct' way to spend the maintenance.

FedUpLetDown · 04/07/2018 23:16

What would be the point in that? Surely it all just goes into one pot. If you were to give vouchers for a supermarket or clothes shop what’s to stop them buying booze/ fags or clothes for themselves?

Original poster
curi0us1 · 04/07/2018 23:16

hi, thanks for your reply, I cant see an admin issue, how much do you pay amazon/Ocado/asda/Tesco for a food or clothing order? I don't see a huge admin cost from CSM with a voucher if you already pay a % to them for next to noting? do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

OP posts:
RoboJesus · 04/07/2018 23:16

No that's stupid in so many ways

Happynewlife · 04/07/2018 23:17

You usually pay a percentage of what you earn so if you pay a huge amount it means you earn a huge amount.

FedUpLetDown · 04/07/2018 23:17

Of course it’s an ex partners issue if their kids are living in a cold house or need driving anywhere.

WinnieTheW0rm · 04/07/2018 23:18

Well, if NRP's salary is also paid in vouchers, to cover what someone else thinks their spending priorities shouid be, then it might be OK. Ready to have that amount of control placed on your spending, OP?

(I'm assuming here you are a CSM-paying NRP. My apologies if not)

Battleax · 04/07/2018 23:18

No, no admin issue in arranging for thousands of mortgage lenders and landlords to accept fiddly vouchers 🙄🙄🙄

Battleax · 04/07/2018 23:18

Cut the crap OP, and explain why it would be a GOOD idea.

Alaaya · 04/07/2018 23:19

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

Well, since it's your ex's kids who will be going cold if the boiler breaks or not getting to school due to no petrol...yes. The costs of raising a child aren't just food and housing.

buggedby · 04/07/2018 23:20

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

They are issues that pertain to the children though aren't they? They are part of the costs of having children, housing them and taking them places.

IWantMyHatBack · 04/07/2018 23:20

Broken boiler would come under general house costs, which is part of the cost of housing a child, so yes.
Presumably the car is used when driving the children around, so yes, perfectly reasonable that some of that cost be covered by CM

drquin · 04/07/2018 23:20

Yes a tank of petrol or broken boiler may well be ex-partner's "issue" ...... in that it's the ex-partner's child who is living in the house with no heating. Or ex-partner's child who can't get to school or clubs for lack of petrol.
You don't pay for food & clothing only ..... you pay (or should be 🙄) for a share of all costs involved in raising a child.

I hope you're a troll .....

EB123 · 04/07/2018 23:20

No, that strikes me as being controlling. You don't pay x amount for food, x amount for clothes etc, the money goes into a pot and gets used appropriately as needed.

Battleax · 04/07/2018 23:20

Come on OP.

Why is it a GOOD idea?

You want to change the system, explain why.