should your ex only be issued with vouchers

[curi0us1]

Hi all, just a quick question, if you pay a huge amount of CSM to your ex, do you think this should be paid in vouchers for clothing, food, housing etc, rather than being paid in cash, reason being that it may be used in a manner not in the best interests of your children. thanks for your time

[meditrina]

"do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?"

No. Which is another reason why vouchers are a terrible idea. The minutiae of RP's spending is none of the NRP's business

[IWantMyHatBack]

GF

[RoseAndRose]

Why is it a GOOD idea?

Waits, patiently...

[Battleax]

Still waiting OP

[Wherismymind]

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

Are you mental. So you'd have your kids in a cold house, or no hot water to wash, or walking 6 miles to school in the rain? The money is to contribute to the overall household cost because the rp is now supporting the kids on their own. Whether the money goes on shoes, food, school trips or the rp's gym membership is irrelevant. It's topping up the IP's income because they no longer have the support of a live in co-parent.

[Solasum]

My ex pays me maintenance for our DS. It goes into my household income. The vast majority of my expenses are inflated by having DS, eg I don’t live in a shared house, I have to pay for childcare, I can’t travel in school tents, We eat more healthily. My ex is happy to pay me maintenance, because, being a reasonable man, he can see that DS is my priority, and if one month I may put ‘his’ money towards a holiday, or god forbid, something for me,the next I will use a similar amount for eg school
Uniform.

A voucher system would
Imply the recipient was completely feckless.

[Breakfastofmilk]

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

Well I guess that depends on whether you as an ex-partner want your child to live in a house that's heated in the winter. I mean I personally think you'd have to be an absolute grade A twat to think that whether your child's home is heated doesn't matter but if you disagree please explain why.

[C0untDucku1a]

Winnie i assumed the ex’s new partner

[Battleax]

Pathetic.

[curi0us1]

hi, you would be correct in assuming that im the NRP, im assuming this means Non Resident Parent, I can see your argument that if my salary was paid in vouchers I would be uncomfortable with that, but I work for that salary, is it therefore safe to assume the CSM payment to the RP, Im assuming this is, Resident Parent, is seen as a salary, or is it not for the children? what if I was paying CSM only to see my children not benefit? how should I approach this?

[Battleax]

Why is it a GOOD idea OP?

[MyDcAreMarvel]

Solasum Travel in school tents?

[IWantMyHatBack]

So, OP...

What's on your acceptable list of spends then? What exactly do you think CM should be spent on? Specifics please. Is resident parent allowed to save some towards a holiday? Fix a leak? How about paying for home or car insurance?

@whereismymind has it..
"
The money is to contribute to the overall household cost because the rp is now supporting the kids on their own. Whether the money goes on shoes, food, school trips or the rp's gym membership is irrelevant. It's topping up the IP's income because they no longer have the support of a live in co-parent."

[buggedby]

I'm more bemused at the idea that an amazing/Ocado/Tesco order are the only costs incurred in raising a child

What about childcare? Do you do your share it or is the RP taking the hit there? Having to get back for the school run/nursery pick up limits earning potential for a start

[AtSea1979]

Depends what you mean by not benefit. Is RP not putting a roof over child head, feeding, clothing, taking to appointments etc? If not it’s a social care issue not a CM issue.
You are coming across as a controlling twunt.
What’s up OP? Did she buy a new dress at the weekend and go out and get drunk?

[donajimena]

What a fucking joke! I live in a two bed at 1500 per month. I earn 2500 per month.
If I were on my own a flat might cost me 1000 pm. Therefore I am 500 out of pocket housing the children. I pay the extra 500 and when I receive the 250 from CMS I spend as I see fit. If that is shoes for me so be it.
Can you really be that thick? Its all one fucking pot!
Put more simply, I borrow from my wage to pay children's costs (half of because there are two parents) NRP repays the share I borrowed.

[Breakfastofmilk]

OP if you really truly honestly believe that your ex is neglecting your child's needs then you should be taking her (I assume) to court to get residency not wittering about vouchers.

If on the other hand your ex is actually looking after your child well and you just don't like having to hand over the money, that's just tough shit. She's raising, housing and looking after your child and as is pretty much universally acknowledged raising kids is expensive. You should be contributing to that and it is none of your business how she manages her finances unless your child is being neglected.

[curi0us1]

Hi All, some good replies, @battleax, I didn't say it would be a good idea, I asked "should your ex only be issued with vouchers" I am the NRP, I do pay a lot of CSM based on what I earn, I have no problem paying it, I wondered would my children be better served if my EX was payed in vouchers of any kind i.e housing, food, clothing, education. i agree it may seem controlling, but if you payed someone X amount a month CSM and you knew X amount was going no where near what its intended for, housing, car, clothing, food, how would you feel, and what way could X amount be better distributed to the EX to ensure it goes to its intended purpose

[Battleax]

You don’t think it’s a good idea but you floated it as a suggestion anyway?

Sure you did.

[ScattyCharly]

OP it is something that the NRP just doesn't have control over. Also, in this day and age, all you need to is go on a voucher selling website to convert any vouchers to cash. Even if it was so tightly regulated that this wasn't possible, you could still buy clothing and resell it to convert to cash.

Family expenses are massive and varied and it isn't practical to restrict spending of money from NRP.

[ScattyCharly]

Can you say exactly what you believe money is being inappropriately spent on?

[Japanesejazz]

The CMS needs a serious review if this is now an option

[Battleax]

but if you payed someone X amount a month CSM and you knew X amount was going no where near what its intended for, housing, car, clothing, food, how would you feel, and what way could X amount be better distributed to the EX to ensure it goes to its intended purpose

Why would you worry about how it’s spent?

What do you think 99% of mothers spend most of their income on?

The 1% who fail to clothe, feed and adequately House their D.C., lose custody anyway, so what’s the problem?

[Breakfastofmilk]

So do you believe that your children are being neglected or going without? If so why haven't you applied for residency?

[RoboJesus]

If you think your children are being neglected money should be large last thing on your mind. Saving them should be all you could think about