Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

Definitely both, I'm head of state after all. I'll need a suitable throne... made out of amazon packaging.

I'm loving my new Ministerial role. I just need to make myself a nice lectern for my press conferences. I need a snappy catchphrase. Maybe 'Stay Home, Stop spying on others, Protect our sanity'?

evening all. Oh we have our own cabinet - most excellent
Bit of a rubbish day at work has left me in a stressy/anxious/tearful mood. However it is Friday so a gin has been poured!

DH attmepted to go to Morrisons (twice) but the queue was so insane he gave up. Dinner is therefore a bit cobbled together! (although it would keep the frothers happy as because we actually have food in the house we obviously didnt really need to go shopping)

We do however have a bday cake for ds bday and we will be lighting candles so no doubt that will kill a few thousand
Now...need to top up my gin in order to not murder any family members tonight.

Lol at my job. As long as i get to GALMI and dont have to do it myself i will be fine (or it could take many years to get our country properly beautiful.😄)
Can i put in a requisition to Lilac or Bananas for an AK47 too? just to makes sure they work hard. enough?

Woohoo never thought I'd have a cabinet post. Nice one. Please tell me it's like the monster raving loony party, they're ace. When they do a cabinet reshuffle they all wander in and out of a cabinet. Such fun.
I can totes see myself as a minister.

I have to confess...the wine won. I can get cream tomorrow i dont need it for tonight's tea and still got £ on meter. Oopsy my bad.

Evening Max. Cheers sweetie. Hope the gin is helping. Would being Minister for frolicking and fruit blessing lift your mood?

All appointments do of course have to be approved by our Very Reverend and Esteemed Princess Banana whilst most regally seated on her throne of Amazon.

Willow can then announce new appointments from her lectern of Sanity. No one is allowed to clap. Or bang. Or toot horns.

And anyone who disagrees will receive a visit from Blobby and Lilac.

Its friday!

Just logged off! Going to get drunk tonight to celebrate or new head of state! 👸👸👸👸

Should we appoint a Minister for Cake? It sounds like the sort of post that would be important in our country.

Can have a post please. Preferably a fluffy one, not too many spread sheets and report.

Something than involves having the dogs with me would be great 👌

Should we appoint a Minister for Cake? It sounds like the sort of post that would be important in our country.

Also one for hair dye, hot cross buns and easter eggs. So the frothers can direct their all their annoyance in one direction.

I’m assuming all Cabinet members can claim for a gold loo roll holder on expenses?

Thank you very much indeed for bestowing on me the honour of becoming Minister for Decontamination. I would just like to say a few words blah blah blah Zzzzzzzzzz.........

........zzzzzz decontamination should start from the inside out. Therefore home shopping deliveries which contain gin will be prioritised.

In other news Corona has been delivered to my home - turns out it was a nest of tables. DH has already constructed them despite me saying that we should burn them for the good of humanity.

Now they have taken up residence in my home should I be wearing a face mask and gloves at all times?

Excellent idea Isabelle. We cannot survive without copious amounts of cake.

Shitsgettingcrazy clearly I’m not in charge, but I think you doing patrolling with digs could support the AK 47 team.

Digs? Dogs!

clearly I’m not in charge, but I think you doing patrolling with digs could support the AK 47 team.

YES!!! I knew my weird hobbies would come in handy one day! And my love of dogs.

My dogs also love to dig. So it's not really a typo!

Minister for cake sounds ideal. Sadly I've scoffed sampled too much cake recently so whoever asked for the role should have it.
AK47 at the ready for something something, shit where's the beer?

Well I’m excellent at baking but I’m on a diet so I generally have to give away all my baked goods. Does that qualify me to be minister for cake?

I definitely shouldn’t be ministre for transport. I have spent the afternoon doing a Speed Awareness course. Because of The Corona, it was postponed and then made an online video conference course.

It has been the most entertaining thing I have done since the lockdown started 😂😂

OH has severely sinned , so bad in fact that if the MN hive mind would know who we are they'd probably send the SWAT team at our door.

He came home skipping and grinning, top of the world because he had a pint...in a pub.

Slightly confused whether to be glad(he has been seriously low this past week) or to quarantine him in the garage for 72 hours. Decisions..decisions...

Where on earth did he find a pub which was open?! This is truly a lockdown miracle. —totally misses point—

Blessed day.

There should definitely be a Minister of Fripperies .....

@soupforbrains Where on earth did he find a pub which was open?! This is truly a lockdown miracle. —totally misses point—

I was thinking the same thing. This pub is like the new unicorn.