Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

@CrowCat “ He's pooped over a couple of times from a distance and apparently that's ok, so if that's ok then why is it such an outrage when an adult daughter pops by to see her parents from a distance??

It's bullshit. And I'm pissed off.”

It’s bullshit. I would hope that MN isn’t an indicator of what wider society thinks. I did see some glimmers of common sense last night though.

Also there may be a silent group who are too nervous to speak up.

I’m not clear if the current lockdown is due for review on the 4th or the 11th?

Mum’s also sufficiently pissed off that she’s beginning to think if the neighbours turn their back on helping her if I visit, that might just have to be it. I’m a long way away so can’t help in an emergency but in that case it’s ring 999 or die, or if she falls, lie on the floor till help comes.

I have never thought so little of fellow human beings, they seem to want a dictatorship.

@Lilac it's shocking to think that people would rather an elderly person be left with no one to turn to than to 'break lockdown rules', it's also ridiculous to think that if two families have been fully observing lockdown that they can't then visit each other from a distance. Why are we quarantining healthy, young people with risk of losing their jobs? Why are we saying it's ok for retail workers to face random joe public for 10 hours a day but it's not ok for them to reach out for some stress relieving human contact with family on their day off? Where everyone trusts each other to follow hand washing etc, something you just can't guarantee from a random stranger you might interact with at work?? It's all bullshit and it's really hit home today.

Common sense has left the building for the majority of the country it seems, and now they're blindly following a government that couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery and didn't even adhere to their own social distancing rules - and will happily trot off to their push second homes while we all 'behave' and rat on young families cooped up in one bedroom flats when they dare to sit on a bit of grass for a bottle of juice. If the government are clearly allowed to make their own risk assessment then why is it frowned upon if we do it?!

Not to mention 111 being an absolute farce, people not being seen until their lips have turned blue, and the 'protect them NHS' slogan. I thought the idea of the NHS was to protect US?? But no, we're mopping up after a lazy government who completely failed their pandemic test in 2016 and ignored the advice given on what would need to be implemented.

Gahhhhhhh!!!!!

Afternoon all
Frangi so sorry for your loss. Fuck the neighbours flip them the bird if they say anything.

That was a fab post you quoted Pink sense in the middle of the madness. People are horrified when anyone compares the present to informing on neighbours during ww2 but that is exactly where we are heading. They are so wrapped up in thier own self righteousness they dont see it. Its all to easy to see how it happened.

I got a shielding letter! And a follow up call today. Talked to my hosp Dr thankfully and i was referred to err on side of caution with others who have had chemo. I only had short course for auto immune disease a year ago and they do think i am at the low risk end but its up to me. I only just started this job i aint getting the sack!! Anyway after 6 months no ppe in supermarkets i dont think i am.gonna get it now. I will just take extra care as far as possible and kids will have to as well. (Though they hardly move from house especially eldest anyway) Tbh i sort of dismissed it when i read it (all 95 pages or so it seemed 😄) the phone call did kind of shake me. Just the thought of being inside for 12 weeks when feeling as fit as a decrepit flea.😲😲😲

I definitely think MN isn’t representative of society and for that I am thankful. None of us would ever leave our house or take a breath of fresh air again if we followed the MN rules. I do fear for the children of these hysterical people though. What a terrible way to bring up a child if you cannot make rational decisions right now

You need Naked Wines.

They're not £4.99 bottles but they're not crazily expensive either, and their wines are really nice.

Hello my lovely murderesses.

I've not been on much since midweek last week since that was my birthday and I spent that day and the following 4 in varying states of drunkeness and hangovers. Yesterday I returned to work, that was fun... today I have been informed that as of 1st May i will be furloughed so that is also great.

but at least the sun is shining, and I am about to stop working for today and switch off my brain completely to watch trash instead. then later I will have a bath, with bubbles and other selfish extravagances which are definitely not aloud. after that i might have a hot chocolate and snuggle up with a book. (I am aware that it's a lovely warm sunny day but i have reynauds and so sometimes if I've let myself getcold I just stay freezing and it's very hard to warm up)

I have 1 tenner I can spare for frivolous purchases, what would you all recommend? I want immediate gratification so not planning on anything i have to wait to be delivered...

Hi @soupforbrains so I take it you had a good birthday I have reynauds too, it's all very well when the sun's out but the minute it starts to chill my fingers nearly fall off

I second the bath with bubbles. That will be my lockdown treat tonight. And beer. Or wine. Both?? What's appropriate?

@CrowCat ah a fellow sufferer! I sat still for too long at my desk this morning so I am fully chilled through, I can feel the cold in my spine. Now no matter what I do I am still feeling occasional shivers and my fingers toes and nose are numb a hot bath is almost the only thing that can warm me when I'm at this stage, but i have to be careful because when i'm numb i sometimes don't feel the water is too hot and burn myself

I did indeed have a good birthday (and subsequent celebrations) and am half thankful for the sad fact that I now have no drinkable alcohol in the house as I think I should allow my body some respite!

Am still contemplating using my furlough depression fund (£10) to buy wine though...

@soup it's horrible isn't it! I'm the same if I let myself get too cold I just can't warm up for ages afterwards. No amount of blankets or hot tea does the trick. If someone calls and I'm holding my phone outside when it's cold I've been known to drop it from numbness. Ah well, onward. My GP suggested wearing gloves all the time. Now if only that was practical - and if it only affected my hands!

Wine is a good shout. I like Lidl California Merlot at £4.69 a bottle. Very gluggable

evening all

pink ha! no a pump to pump the water to the filter. for the pond. Running shoes for me , totally not realted to the pond!

I think you have hit the nail on the head above.There is a total lack of any common sense or ability for anyone to think for themselves. It is a blind and frothing following of The Roolz . (even when they are not actually quite The Rules!) So the virus can be spread by droplets from a person's respiratory tract, and enters via your respiratory tract. Yet obviously sitting on a bench means you will automatically spread the virus to someone else. What am I missing? Does everyone cough all over and then lick benches now???Is your respiratory tract somehow now connected to your arse and the virus can permeate clothing and skin?
A person stops to eat a packet of crisps on a walk. No one else is around. yet again they are killing millions by breaking The Roolz - HOW????? It's all just bloody ridiculous now if you ask me.
I mean yes some rules are important, even if we dont like them. We cant all go sit in a packed theatre, or cinema or pub for a couple of ours right now. But not to ba able to sit 2M apart form a family memeber from another household outside - why not? How on earth is that a problem?
And as for what this doing to people's mental health, dont even get me started.

Anyway....must not rant.....

Have had a fairly pleasant day working from home. Hundreds of extremely annoying emails as usual but they seemed that bit more manageable when dealing with them sitting in the sun! Back on site tomorrow though, which means at least I wont also be juggling the whole kids/home schooling bit as well !

fairly low kill rate today though, so off to browse for pointless purchases!

Blessed be the Fruit

The crisps thread on here is genius. There are other ‘normal’ people on MN. Hurrah

I have to go do 'a big shop' tomorrow. Hooray. I hate the supermarkets just now, I've been trying to just use the express ones but my freezer is all but empty and a 9yo without chicken nuggets is like a smurf without a hat.

I foolishly dipped into a "sending your kids back to school" thread. One of the frothers was all up in arms about how she's convinced there's going to be a second wave once restrictions are relaxed and nobody is listening to her...

I'm now more than a little concerned about what these people will do when they realise that was LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING IDEA

merry they’ll find the most hysterical headlines they can and believe those.

I'm now more than a little concerned about what these people will do when they realise that was LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING IDEA

I have dropped that into threads with the most prolific frothing. They completely ignore it, every time.

Very convenient.

So today, I walked the dogs and the kids, just been to the supermarket. Mum drove over and dropped some 'essentials' off as a surprise. Usual stuff. Coffee, milk, bottle of olive oil.

And stuffed in the bottom was a hoodie for ds that she made him, so he can look like his favourite fortnight skin and some money and a birthday present for me. They left them on the door step and I came out and spoke to them from about 30 feet away.

Felt like they were smuggling cigs through customs. Made me miss them more though. Ds is made up with his hoodie. I didn't even quarantine it for 4 weeks. So between that we have prob all killed thousands.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock do we have a new thread yet, oh glorious leader?

@Shitsgettingcrazy your wish is my command... I'm sure it should be the other way round,but I'll let it go for now.

Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3887336-jackass-whisperers-against-the-cheap-beer-virus

Evening all - I love this thread

and thank you all for the kind wishes

Got the shock of my life earlier when a policeman knocked on our door - I thought for a brief minute one of my neighbours had actually reported us, I was drawing breath to rant at the poor guy but then remembered I'd made a police report early last week because someone has fraudulently listed our car for sale on eBay and he was probably just here to take details

Yay thanks for the new thread, I need it for my sanity

Haha Frangi glad it was innocent after all of that. Hope he kept his social distance of course 😊

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock it was a suggestion from one of your loyal subjects.....which you can happily declare was your idea ....and as you subject, we will all agree it was

I congratulate all of you on this sanity-preserving set of threads. I salute you as a fellow murderer.

@LalalalalaLlama I can highly recommend Virgin Wines if you're still looking.

I have so many sins to confess. I have been frivolously purchasing such items as a soda stream so I never, ever run out of tonic for the equally frivolous amount of gin that I appear to be drinking. I am also allowing my kids to talk to the kids next door over the fence and, well, laugh and play games and stroke each other's cats WITHOUT bleaching them first.

I am also delivering food to my parents and in-laws and (gasp) pausing to chat on the threshold. Last week I even accepted a coffee from my Dad and chatted for an hour.

And tonight, horror of horrors, we are having a curry delivered rather than, say, eating cold gruel out of the kids' shoes.

I will rot in hell.