Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

I’ve been stock piling vagifem for months, as HRT supply has been unreliable for well over a year. So while my toes are shite, my vagina should be happy.

So I’m personally to blame for all unhappy vags as well. Pass the whip.

@Shitsgettingcrazy I don't even need the nail clippers anymore because well I pick the nails too.. and spots and scabs and bits of healing finger skin and repeat. I've had gel nails for years as it's the only thing that makes me stop. As soon as they come off... here come the bleeding stubs.

As for treats and chocolate? Did you not read the treat thread? McDonalds once a year out of necessity, sweets and cakes only at parties etc. , swimming ok if lessons, but recreational is something to be done once in a while and so on. I've had a pretty shit childhood but that was quite depressing.

@ilovecherries maybe start donating some rampant rabbits to make it up to those unhappy vags?

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I have done it to my toes. They are a mess. My fingernails are just all different lengths and keep tearing. Yours sound painful. Hope you find something.

Did you not read the treat thread?

No, I did not see that. Bet you anything those people are talking bollocks though. Or at least most if them are.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking can we get a review?

I am very excited about tomorrow. I will be almost definitely printing my Couch to 5K plan! This running lark is really easy, I am sailing through so far. Once this load of laundry has dried, I can take it off my treadmill and I will practically be ready for the London Marathon.
I do still need to buy running shoes though, because of the puppy. I don't feel further explanation is necessary.
So that will up my kill count (the unnecessary shoe delivery, not the puppy, I hasten to add.)

DP thinks that the pandemic may well be over and everything totally back to normal by the time I actually get round to physically starting my Couch to 5K, but he's a miserable bastard because football no longer exists and he already finished his Easter egg.

It is painful but apparently not enough to put me off. I'll do some research. Or maybe write to Boris to give me special permissions to see a nail technician.

I know I'm like all sins permitted but it did piss me off when a mate had her hairdresser round. Mostly because she took the piss out of mine and then showed off her way too professional ones. Yes, I am that petty.

@Pringletastic run,run as fast as you can corona can't catch you you're the treadmill (wo)man.

Nope, just nope. I cant do it. I have written 2 posts on that 'Dancing in the park thread' and I just cant post them! I would get banned or sound a real bitch but wtaf?

Do people just LOOK for something that has no bearing on them whatsoever and go postal about it as they arent following the same rules that they have self imposed on themselves and are as miserable as fuck doing it, as nobody is actually doing anything close enough to affect them and they are pissed off that they cant moan about them? And breath!
I did post on that "do you agree with dropping easter eggs off" one, will get flammed no doubt

Didn’t leave the house for 3 weeks as had suffered pneumonia in January so I thought I’d keep my self safe and stay indoors. Got bad cabin fever last Tuesday and ‘broke out’... went to M&S, bought treaty things and posh cake, Morrison’s for sensible food and an Easter Egg - then... I went for a drive!! In the sunshine!! With the music blaring!! To ‘nowhere in particular’ for miles!!
And I loved every minute of it!!😄
Yes, it was totally unnecessary but it made me feel a trillion times better!!
I’ll just go and stand in the corner and think about what I’ve done...

What I really need is some way to get some fake/gel nails back on. I'm a nervous picker so after 2 weeks I have peeling,bleeding ,falling apart fingers.

I'm exactly the same, I bought a cheap UV lamp and some gels on eBay, it's not perfect but better than plain nail varnish and has stopped my nails splitting and peeling.

On the tango one, it once again came down to "not in the spirit ". All the but but butts were just a roundabout way to say that

Sorry I have been away for ages, a while thread, but been disinfecting my pavement

Feeling 🤢 wondering if I should push the issue (literally) and get it over with or wait and hope it passes.

Oh no, princess. Is it anxiety or something you’ve eaten?

The non-clappers in my street have just been shamed on the NextDoor app 🤦‍♀️. My local FB group has just exploded as well as someone had the nerve to complain that a food delivery they’d paid for using friends and family hadn’t and was due on Friday still hadn’t arrived. Cue 73 comments telling her that having no food wasn’t serious, because you know, pandemic, and basically she was a selfish lazy bitch.

Cue 73 comments telling her that having no food wasn’t serious, because you know, pandemic, and basically she was a selfish lazy bitch.

You copuldnt make this shit up could you?

I went for a walk and got chatted up by somebody from a 3m distance

Hope its just too mny easter eggs Princess . Hopefully it will just pass over and you will be fine in the morning.

Hope its just too mny easter eggs

Haven't had any actually. Maybe that's what's wrong.

Shhh, don’t tell anyone but I walked the dog twice in one day. I didn’t shop though or do any other form of exercise other than normal breathing. I haven’t seen anyone outside for days, I have no neighbours to report! Please help!

Where can I get the disposable whips? (The world has gone mad... :) )

Is this a business opportunity “whipsrus”?