Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

Oooh - police have issued clarifications on the guidance and you can now drive somewhere to take exercise and you can also stop for lunch. So picnics are allowed! Hooray! What will the frothers do now?
However, you are not allowed to redecorate your kitchen.
What a shame, I had such plans no plans whatsoever

the thread about the police guidlines is quite sensible , aside from the odd person wailing and shrieking about the absurditity of it all

Are we allowed to hang here during the the Two Minute Hate? 😂

Evening all! Hope you are all well and still clap free!

Puppy has decided to do some self improvement and taken up yoga.

Her version of downward dog.

Oh i cant wait for the threads where people have driven somewhere and some frothers dont know about new guidelines. Interesting to say the least.😀

Oh who are we kidding? The new guidelines will be rearranged and changed completely by midnight with all sorts of exclusions and reasons why you are killing millions just by thinking about it by posters who have just made thier own rules up.😄😄

Smile You are right. I'll tell him so. But he does make a very fine Marguerita with freshly squeezed essential oranges ( for health reasons) at 5pm on the dot. Then I drink as much gin as I want to until bed o'clock. He's not a bad sort really.

Sorry Smile - a Harvey Wall Banger! Not a Marguerita. Jolly tasty, whatever it is...

I'm just out with a fag waiting for the clap. I'm sure some neighbours are having an aneurysm that I am out but don't clap, just puff away.

Anyone have a link to the new guidance?

Oh just had a premature pot banger. Couldn't hold in the excitement I guess .

They started now , seriously loud. Some very enthusiastic people in my neck of the woods.

Noticeably fewer people doing the clap.

Princess, I love that you stand out and smoke 😂

Guidance here

www.college.police.uk/What-we-do/COVID-19/Documents/What-constitutes-a-reasonable-excuse.pdf

Oh well i failed miserably at getting the clap again.
I did stay awake. I did look out the window and not a soul to be seen. Then 2 minutes ago there were 3 people out clapping. I didnt want to go out mid clap so clapped inside. Better than nowt i suppose😄

Oh yes there are the "if its not necessary just dont go" fun sponges on that thread already. Cant go back on my phone or i will get muddled but am sure i saw a "No" to the original question but i may be wrong.

On a silly note...my supermarket has tons of loo roll now on the shelves and in huge row all along where you come in the front door. I found it hilarious, nowt like showing off and posdibly a "screw you you locusts " thrown in🤣🤣

Smile no just bleach your bum first. You are the plague carrier not the poor sand.

Fuck sake next door have some kind of drill or sander going! At this time? Give me a break!

So the people doing anal bleaching knew something we didn’t 🤔

Nah, they are just normally nuttier than a fruit cake😂

Another three weeks - great.

Can I come in here and relax? Nearly had an argument with management today over the use of terms - shielding, self-isolating, vulnerable, social distancing - I think they have all become blurred.

The hospital rang this morning to offer DS (12) a cancellation MRI appointment in the morning at 8am. Apparently there is an unclean side and a clean side so we should be ok. Maybe I should through it out there though, about the attendance.

Plumber comes tomorrow. Unnecessary parcels came today (opened, cos I really don't want to tell the autistic one that he can't have what's inside for 72hrs)

Finding this working from home lark really difficult, but hey Friday tomorrow.

well, I made ds2 practice his drums to coincide perfectly with the clap, meanwhile I was on the debenhams website ordering some new clothes that will undoubtedly kill millions. win win.
tomorrow night we will be having a (fake) BBQ (fake on account of the fact we have a fancy ass gas BBQ which is usually epic but alas has run out of gas and we cant seem to get a refil currently, so have to cook food insdie and bring out...although may now need to purchase a green egg thing mentioned above)
We will also be drinking alcohol and lighting the fire pit. All on account of the fact it is DS1s 22nd bday, and well because it will be Friday and well, why not
(obviously no doubt millions will die from our frolicking in the back garden and ideally he should forget his birthday even exists whilst chanting "Im just glad to be alove" all day )

Will also be popping in to the garden centre again after work as it is literally right next door to my place of work and I need to buy the little mint plant I saw the other day so we can add mint to our pimms - lord the frothers would have a field day at that

right, best go find something to watch on netflix before I kill anyone else.

Under His Eye

TheGreatWave I’ve recently discovered a shielding friend isn’t actually on the list. She’s just “shielding herself”.

alove???/ alive obvs!!