Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

I'm at work and actually it's all fine 😂seems the NHS is significantly less hysterically batshit crazy than MN thank god. No one seems to be bleaching their lunch 😂

Morning all, just checking in. I have a brand spanking new thoroughly non-essential dining table to build but first I need copious amounts of coffee because gin

I had a 2 hour FaceTime with DS and my baby grandson so that's put me in fine spirits, my 9yo is still asleep (or pretending to be asleep), and the sun is shining!!

I have 2 confessions - firstly, I spoke to me neighbour through the fence, for at least 10 minutes.. and we laughed!! Secondly, I had a bloody huge bonfire last night and it was GOOD!! Someone told me I'm not allowed to have a bonfire because people with covid have bad lungs. Well if they've got covid surely they shouldn't be outside anyway?? So yeah. Burn, butch, burn (insane cackling) I may need to have another one tonight.

Smile happy?!? How dare you be happy? How can you be happy? Don't you know there's a pandemic out there? The guidelines state no happiness allowed, but if you really must you can only smile for 1 minute and 39 seconds a day.

It always makes me laugh when people shout "he/she is a nurse!! They should know better".

Like HCP's aren't actually people with their own wants,needs and foibles. To some people they just exist as ANGLES in blue and God forbid they show their humanity in any way.

Smile.. Do you think the vag plumper would help with incontinence when coughing? I'm actually very worried about the corona cough. Are tena pads essential or non essential?

I’m always relieved when they say “she’s a nurse”. My dad was HCP and all those friends are retired but that’s partly why they are relaxed about it.

I read that as a vag plumber and became very interested.

Mainly because the actual plumber we used at Christmas was one fine specimen of a man.

Princess “ I read that as a vag plumber and became very interested”

Isn’t that a gynaecologist?

Princess I wonder if your Christmas plumber was my drain man?

Smile ...Corona Cough is indeed a dance . I saw it on Thik Tok.

tonikent.co.uk/2019/09/what-your-recycling-bin-is-actually-called/

Not me but I like her writing. She's definitely our sort of person. Her Waitrose Gangsta is very funny too.

Hi all can I join....late to the party i know but I've been lurking through all the threads. I have been getting deliveries left right and centre for loads of none essential rubbish today's deliveries include some essential headbands for when i start my lockdown fitness plan (to go along with every other self improvement plan i can think of...but not actually start. So far its going well)so i can come out of this a fitter, better person. Although I am still working at actual work a not very essential essential worker...not essential enough for the clap anyway. Am i too late for a Spanish soldier ?although I am quite happy to have any soldier he doesn't have to be Spanish xx

I started my fitness regime a couple of weeks ago. I did PE with Joe for 2 days. I could hardly walk and all the jumping up and down made my acid reflux worse so I gave up. So far I haven't come up with anything to replace it other than walking to the kitchen for food

Ha! Yes it seems even though more at risk generally my colleagues are more relaxed than bloody MN. I mean, obviously we are wearing PPE etc when we are on the wards but we don't then all feel the need to disinfect our sandwiches..... Imagine that!
I managed to avoid having to use Microsoft teams by sitting in an actual room with actual people in for our clinical meeting(only allowed 7 people in one room which is actually a totally random made up number and a bit in the style of MN to be fair )

Blessed Day, murderers

Loving the thread recently. I banned myself from MN and FB yesterday as the hysteria was getting to me. Despite my name, I am not batshit

I do think critical thinking should be added to the curriculum. I found myself 'shouting' SOURCE!! on FB as various ridiculous fake scientific nonsense was being shared amd believed. I'm a sociologist not a scientist, but still...

In other news, I have taken delivery of my new lipstick so have probably murdered several thousand people - let's see if my work Zoomies will notice the colour of my lips this afternoon ...

I'm (murdering lots of people)ordering a wicker trunk to keep all my fitness equipment in next.

Think I need to join you all - the amount I’ve spent online and the potential deliveries will probably decimate communities across the country who says a box of fudge is non essential?!. Does it help my membership if I admit that I roll my eyes at the idiots people banging saucepans for the clap?

Oh my days. I have found another hellish thread. Has anyone seen the people who test positive should stay indoors one? Virus can now jump over fences aswell ... give me strength

I'm going to crack open a Cider and sit in the back garden. Hope no one within a mile radius has had it or it might get to me via their fences

“ Does it help my membership if I admit that I roll my eyes at the idiots people banging saucepans for the clap?”

Oh I hate this. And fireworks.