Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

I'm surprised no one has started a thread suggesting alien activity!

I think there actually was one the other day!

There was one asking if aliens would come now we were in this mess and sort of screwed.

I see mnhq have deleted the 'cash' thread instead of just deleting the obnoxious posts from one person. They deleted other posts on that thread just not hers!

Off to work later. Going to see if i have any gloves left (i usually have some for doing mucky stuff not for CV) as my hands are covered in paper cuts from the mountains of cardboard i tore apart yesterday. I dont want any more.

Crazy, crazy, crazy people on the other threads. They have got to be trolls. No one can be that bitter and judgemental.

My kill rate is doing spectacularly and it's just gone 10am. I have waved at three people who I 'met' (saw from a distance of well over 50 feet) on my dog walk and they all waved back!! It's now officially a neighbourhood sanctioned kill fest round our neck of the woods!
I feel giddy with the slaughter.
Later I am going to powerwash the windows and may now even venture onto the driveway to wash the car because I have been receiving subliminal messaging about it on this thread.

Not drinking today. Managed to put away a whole bottle of red by myself yesterday. Am now most definitely feel a tad dehydrated now and very disappointed in myself.
Already feeling anxious about The Clap this evening.

May the Lord Open.

Morning all.

Definitely a safe space for loo brushes. I couldn't be without mine.

I remember visiting a friend and DD left some marks after using the loo. I asked where the loo brush is so I could clean up. She said she doesn't have one because she lives with 3 males so they just pee on any marks until it's gone. Gimme a loo brush anytime.

Morning reprobates

Need to catch up on the batshit threads for a bit of morning entertainment. BRB

Morning. Woke up with vicious hang over after bottle of prosecco washed down with a few g&ts. The child and l made temporary live in boyfriend binge watch 5 episodes of Our Girl with us last night. He admitted it is actually very good although ludicrously unrealistic which is part of the attraction. Anyway, I dropped the basket full of bottles as I was taking them outside to the bin of shame. This amused my neighbour who was outside having a fag. We exchanged pleasantries and giggled at how full the shame bin is. Please let the recycling men turn up tomorrow. I left them a card with some cash last time as I'm so embarrassed by my full bin and very glad that they are still working. I imagine I have murdered several thousand people through leaving the card, touching the bin, going to the secret shop to restock the booze stash and talking to the neighbour. Although I kept my distance.
There's some very crazy threads today. Helicopter one is insane.

If this is a safe space for loo brushes can I share mine?

loo brush

Poor DH nearly fell over when he saw the price, but we'd just done up the bathroom and had the rest of the set so I wanted a matching loo brush!

Ohh found a new level of batshit. Gardens,corona virus positive and the virus travelling through fences. Fun stuff.

Better than 4peas insane ranting? What's the thread called Princes?

Sorry... Princess

Ohh found a new level of batshit. Gardens,corona virus positive and the virus travelling through fences. Fun stuff.

I'm done for in that case. I was in my garden and my neighbour was less than 2m away with only a fence between us!

I've just been reading the thread about supermarket etiquette, I'm sure some people think the stock magically appears without anyone touching it

PinkSparklyPussyCat wow that is one fancy pants loo brush! Love it. I also bought an astronomically expensive washing up bowl. It had better change my life as I hate washing up!

I'm done for in that case. I was in my garden and my neighbour was less than 2m away with only a fence between us!

Only if she's Covid positive. Then she should barricade herself inside and not even look at the garden just in case.

Swanky washing up bowl!

It's the people who have tested positive should stay indoors one in AIBU

Oh no it's in coronavirus . Just the title that starts with AIBU

That's a good point Princess. He seems OK, but I happen to know he went out twice yesterday* so who knows how many people he's murdered.

*I'm not a curtain twitcher honestly! I live on the ground floor and my bedroom is at the front and I like to sit on the bed and read!

Oooh, I like that washing up bowl, I might have to have a look. DH does the washing up (he can't work so he's a house husband at the moment) but I don't mind buying him decent equipment!

I don't use a washing up bowl. Never have. Half the arguments me and and OH had after moving in together were about doing the washing up. We're both doing it wrong according to the other.

Smile at least you didn't lick it. Sniffing will only count as conspiracy to commit murder,so you might see the light of day eventually.

I have a little love affair going for Joseph Joseph. I went on holiday last year and they had lots of JJ stuff in the kitchen. I periodically sneak stuff into the house. Got myself the ice cube tray last week. I justify the purchases by getting them when they are on offer.

Thanks for the reminder about the clap

I would have been caught out as that would have been the last bit of my evening walk. Disease ridden buggers. So now I’ll time it differently.

I have a loo brush but nothing like as glam as that one!