Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

Judging by the stares I got, I have sinned this morning- again! Not only did I queue for Sainsburys for 56 minutes and 14 seconds I didn’t wear a face mask, only kept 2-3 metres away from the lady in front ( not 6 m like everyone else) And even had the audacity to start taking to lady in front and the gentlemen TWO in front! To top it all I bought Easter eggs (finally!) and crisps and Vienetta and tonic water alongside my persil, milk and butter 😂😂 AND I laughed with the checkout lady and thanked her without posting it on Facebook 😱😱

I've just eaten an entire bag of Haribo while googling a decent 'Couch to 5K' running plan. I have a clothes-rack treadmill that I am going to dust off and try to do something constructive.

My government allocated form of exercise is being dragged to the woods and through the bracken every day by two very exuberant dogs who are both intent on going different directions and at different speeds to me and each other.

As there are a couple of curtain twitchers on my street, I thought I would add the running (and I use that term very loosely) as an indoor pursuit for now.

Hope everyone has super fantastic plans for the lovely sunny Easter break! Oh the joy.

cherries we are a bit like that in this house too. 2 adult dc back from uni, dh and then 4 teenage (well, 12-16) dc.... there's always at least one person having a wobble on any given day!
shits hope the head heals quickly!
frangi that is seriously impressive
princess I hate that bloody phase. I was meant to be running my first ever marathon last weekend , Id trained really hard all winter for it and was gutted when it was cancelled. Then someone said that phrase to me when I was down about it all and it really pissed me off!

right, I have survived Aldi. My god its busy out there today. But fear not I bought chocolate bunnies, hot cross buns, wine and fruity cider (for the students!)
oh, and a bunch of tulips. That must be several thousand dead right there.

I have cleaned the lounge and just having a cuppa break before moving onto the next room of chaos.

Hang in there folks....its not long until it is an accepatable time for alcohol......

pringle good fueling before a run is very important. I'd say youve already taken the important first step. well done.

I agree with @Maxandezra about education - one of my DC was home educated from Y9. He went to uni, got a first, did a masters - honestly some months not in school won't be too terrible for most children.

I'm having a wobble today - no work as it's Easter, and I live alone ....

I found a sharing bag of Haribo lurking in a kitchen drawer yesterday - DH doesn't like them and it would've been against The Roolz to go and share them with anyone else, wouldn't it?

We only had one clapper in the vicinity last night. They were very enthusiastic and clapped for at least seven minutes After five minutes, DH had to be forcibly restrained from stepping out on the balcony and asking if they wanted a fecking fish

batshit can you spoil youself a bit? Have you got any nice food in? Could you walk to a local shop to get some chocolate (yes, yes I know....causing millions of needless deaths!) What do you like doing? netflix? A good book? Music? If you have a garden maybe just sitting out with a cup of tea/glass of wine/gin?

Staggers in holding head in hands, shhhhhhh.
Had a bit too much cider.
Frangi I bow down in awe, and in hungover pain, still holding head.
DP been shopping cos I've still got a smokers cough like a seal bark. Am sure the wine he bought is against the roolz. I know the chocolate must be by now.
Am going to see a mate today, walking there so it looks like my exercise for the day. DP told me police are prowling around so I'll be careful and probably look dodgy. Que sera sera.

and a bunch of tulips.

You just killed the whole of Holland!!

Banana - Trying to look non-dodgy always ends up looking like you are casing a joint. Just stop at every street corner and clap enthusiastically for a couple of minutes to throw them off and then continue on your mission to see your mate, who I presume you are merely visiting from the outside of their home, bringing them invaluable medication bottles of gin and certainly not attempting to act like a regular human being and being sociable purely for the sake of it?!
You do realise there is an INVISIBLE ENEMY around, don't you, comrade?

If you do go in, make sure to strip at the porch and burn all your clothes. If you weren't close mates before, you will be after today.

Thank you so much for this thread. I nearly gave up on mumsnet at the moment due to how crazy it's got.

Can I hide in the here (socially distanced of course).

I should be having an Easter break in Edinburgh now with the guy I'm dating. And it looks like Disneyworld is off at the beginning of June for me and my daughter too.

I'm committing mortal sin of actually still seeing the guy I'm dating.
Besides socially distanced shopping he hasn't seen anyone besides me in a month. So when my daughter is at her dads (3 times a week) we cook for each other, watch box sets and chill out. Oh and I ordered an absolutely non essential order from lovehoney that was delivered this week and when he gets here this weekend he can see my new purchases.

I took my daughter out scootering twice yesterday because she was bored.

We baked a cake and left some on my neighbours doorstep.

I think I'll be lynched on the rest of mn.

If I turn INVISIBLE do I become immune to the virus or do I become the virus?

princess oh no, I did. I killed Holland. All of it. And all for some Tulips. 😭😉

I think you basically become the enemy if you turn invisible don't you?

Oooooo I found you all again, hello to everyone with a hangover on this mighty fine n sunny day.

I've just ordered an ice cream maker 😇. Ice cream & Belgium waffles washed down with Gin - perfect....all I need now is a Spanish Soldier to sit in the sun with

Big outrage ,swearing and pitchforking on my local FB . I'm just sat here,eating a costco blueberry muffin and giggling at all the "our angles in blue" posts.

My neighbour, who is a nurse, was blatantly standing in her garden earlier...chatting to someone who was standing on the road.

I was discusted, I tell you. On the one hand, she is an angle in blue, and on the other hand a selfish murderer of innocents. I didn't know whether I should be clapping her or pelting her with rocks.

max I'm sure after 12 is an acceptable time to start drinking. says the non drinker

Shed being built, DH currently being all manly with the drill.

Am back from my socially distant mate meet up. She doesn't drink (how the fuck does she cope) saw not even one police officer so i didnt have to clap. Did visit a small tesco on the way back to buy more wine and chocolate and a very definitely not aloud sandwich. If they're not allowed how are they even getting into a tesco fridge?
Waited in a socially engineered queue at the appropriate markers. Was all in sunshine so not bothered personally. Used "gasp" cash for my transaction, seriously how many people have I killed now? More than Holland?
Am home being slobbered on by dogs that have missed me and a cat thinks its food time.
DP is painting one of the sheds, probably using illegal paint leftover from last year. He told me a neighbour had a visitor, he also told me he didnt think dobbing in the 83 year old that lives there was worthwhile. I don't know how he can not be ashamed at all the people he killed>>> DP not the neighbour.

I love reading about everyone's sins on this thread 

That's proper shit @Maxandezra was it Manchester? I've 2 friends that were supposed to do it too.

@Maxandezra I have chocolate, cake, wine, fizzy lemon stuff, a good book and TV .... I don't have a garden (I'm renting temporarily and was due to start house hunting this month). I'll be fine, just a bit low.

Good afternoon all... I'm weighing up my sins.

Wasted more flour in the frivolous baking of peanut butter cookies with my eldest...

Took delivery of non essential Easter present for kids ( puzzle eggs, crystal egg ornaments and a hatching dragon egg that turned out to be about 5 times larger than expected).

Also further endangered postie by taking delivery of 6 Easter eggs in a box... I don't know if I'm liable for that one though as I didn't order them and I've no idea who did.. will have to question extended family members to shift blame to correct culprit...

None of said parcels have been quarantined or wiped down, although packaging is now in garage.

Having enjoyed non essential prosecco last night whilst on zoom chat with friends, am planning to so the same tonight with another friend, and yet again on Sunday for the now traditional "House Party Pub Quiz" our extended family have been doing every week... at least that way I don't feel I'm drinking on my own (single mum).

On the plus side, murdering felines are still inside, but that's only to keep them safe from the ncreasingly brave, bastarding foxes that seem to be taking advantage of decreased humans activity in the area...they have woken me up with their infernal racket three nights out of the last four, two huge ones were meandering through the garden bold as brass yesterday evening and the mauled remains of something was left on the lawn this morning, presumably by them....

Hello folks.
Work long and mostly boring.

Did buy frivolous eggs as they are now bogof😄

Excuse any spelling errors as not only have i lost a lense out my reading glasses at work but have had to bleach my eyes catching up on here😲 such blatent disregard for life and 'the 'roolz' !!!
Swung by our usual chinese on way home and gutted they are totally closed no takeaways! 😭
Dammit now i have to make tea.
Hope the hangovers have subsided, hair of the dog?

KBO is all we can do despite our wobbles; its perfectly ok to wobble now and again just rant on here about life the universe and all.
Lol at "fecking fish" you should have let him it would have been priceless.😂

Well I have to confess a whole week sin. Every day OH took DD out for 10-15 minutes for no other reason than to teach her how to ride a bike. All that unnecessary frolicking and fun. Day 5 and she can go for about 30 seconds and turn. Makes me happy . I'm probably biased since I can't ride one so I think anyone that can is pretty awesome.

isabelle was she an (a)cute angle?

Hello you lovely bunch of murderous reprobates, thank you for all the loveliness.

I have had a better day today, work first thing was productive and without any murder inducing moronic colleagues. Then I spent eh rest of the morning and the afternoon with DS helping with his schoolwork. Thankfully we are now fully caught up on all his work so he is much happier about everything which means I am too.

not feeling so wobbly today. Still feeling pretty lonely, can’t believe the first time my birthday is going to have good weather in years and I’m not allowed to do anything/see anyone 😂

This does all however mean that I have not had time to go out and commit any crimes today... I feel I am letting the side down. I will have to buy lots of non essentials, have a bbq and a bonfire and then sit in my front garden for hours tomorrow.

I am however about to pour myself the first drink of the day hope you will all join me.