People calling in with stress

[m0therofdragons]

I'm finding it fascinating how different people cope with the current situation. Some seem so self absorbed with their own situation that they forget that others around them also have families and their own stresses. Calling in sick with stress right now feels wrong to me. I'm in an acute hospital - we're all stressed and going above and beyond, working 7 days, trying to ensure dc feel loved while battling guilt of leaving them to fulfill our duty. It's been interesting to see how some people have no sense of duty at all and are happy to save themselves at the expense of their colleagues.

I want to scream, we all love our dc and yours are not more important than mine!

I'm sure I'll get slammed for not being more understanding but I've heard so much crap today and need to rant. It's just as well we don't all give up when times are hard.

i think thats unfair

maybe some people had a lot going on before covid hit so have that still to deal with too

some are at saturation point

What types of stress do you think are acceptable to be unable to cope with?

In fairness to the op I'm feeling stressed right now, neglecting the dc, not working as well as I usually do and generally having a lot going on including a family death.
But if the op can cope with leaving her dc and delivering care to very sick people then I can cope with this. Or at least I won't be telling the op how much I have to cope with while ignoring her situation.

If stress is a reason to be off right now you'd seriously have no hospital staff left caring for you. That's the reality.

It sounds really rough @m0therofdragons.

All I can say is that different people have different tolerance levels, for stress and everything else. It doesn’t mean that you’re not stressed, it might just mean they’ve reached the limit of what they can cope with.

My workplace is making those choosing to self isolate take unpaid leave... even those with 'high risk' people in their household - the type of high risk with government letters. Choosing between my partner/child life or paying my bills and feeding them for 3 months would definitely cause me enough stress to get a sick note. I'm one of the lucky ones that can keep working.

you dont need to be in hospital for most things stress related though

I'm absolutely sympathetic to people's stress but I struggle with those who seem to think the rest of us are fine right now. No one in the nhs is "fine" right now.

You don’t know what they’re already dealing with.

And maybe unhelpful and unsupportive managers are what have tipped them over the edge.

Yeah, I don’t blame you for being annoyed.

I do really feel for you but other peoples mental health problems are still going to be ongoing in all this

Seems a bit judgemental and harsh. You have no idea what other people are going through.

Maybe try to be kinder and a bit more understanding?

Which part of calling people self absorbed was sympathetic?

we're all stressed

Yes, but being stressed and being stressed to the point that you are unfit for work are two different things.

It's not about how much stress is placed on a person, it's about an individual's ability to cope with that stress and still be functional. Some people thrive on stress, others go to pieces. Many can cope fine (and think they're fine) until they reach breaking point.

For all you know, this could be you in a few days, OP - you think you're fine now, and hopefully you will be, but I think it's unwise to judge others lest you end up in the same boat.

It doesn't mean that person calling in with stress is deemed to be suffering more than you are or has any more to deal with - it's merely that they're unfit for work at the moment.

I don’t blame you for feeling that way

Nope I get it. We all have to tolerate more, in our home life and at work. And everyone is stressed and most people have a lot going on.

No one in the nhs is "fine" right now.

Undoubtedly. Some people are managing to soldier on, there'll be a minority who simply can't.

I think you'd have to write off as a skiver every worker who's ever taken leave caused by stress if you think the current situation shouldn't push anyone beyond their limit.

But when I start work I'm fairly confident this won't be the day someone coughs in my face, well other than the grubby little dc

Fully agree with you OP. Sadly more and more people can deal with less and less these days.

I understand - we feel similar sometimes at work. Always they same people who have to cope.

Some people are selfish and some are selfless

We predicted who in the admin team would self isolate first - we were proved right within days...

You sound quite judgemental and not very nice - sorry. You don't know everything about people's lives and what they are going through so I don't think you should judge. Just do what you can do at work and be happy with your job and hope when times are tougher for you, people don't treat you with the same contempt.

That's a bit unfair - OP sounds stressed and exhausted - you're post isn't very nice and is quite judgemental.

I'm sorry that you are having awful time and am very grateful for what you are doing.

Maybe some people are selfish, but maybe they're genuinely too ill to be able to work. Burnout from long term or severe stress leave your body and mind physically incapable of continuing. And some people will have preexisting stressors in their life, or mental health problems, or trauma, which make them more vulnerable to this.