People calling in with stress

[m0therofdragons]

I'm finding it fascinating how different people cope with the current situation. Some seem so self absorbed with their own situation that they forget that others around them also have families and their own stresses. Calling in sick with stress right now feels wrong to me. I'm in an acute hospital - we're all stressed and going above and beyond, working 7 days, trying to ensure dc feel loved while battling guilt of leaving them to fulfill our duty. It's been interesting to see how some people have no sense of duty at all and are happy to save themselves at the expense of their colleagues.

I want to scream, we all love our dc and yours are not more important than mine!

I'm sure I'll get slammed for not being more understanding but I've heard so much crap today and need to rant. It's just as well we don't all give up when times are hard.

@Wiked asthma can kill. It's really important that you take the time to get it under control. No one should be putting someone with uncontrolled asthma in a high risk role right now. The thing is, those who read this thread and are outraged are probably not the cf I'm talking about. The example I gave off my colleague who has mh issues; she's working from home because it's the c right place for her to be. She's not a cf, she's someone who has asked for support and I've been checking in with her and it became clear that being in work was not the best place for her. I've provided her with counselling through the hospital's programme for staff and want nothing but to support her. Mh and people using mh is different - like calling in sick when you haven't been sick.

@gatorade is my loved ones life somehow more important than someone else's?

not every single person will go through hell at the same time. for me, what i was going through was a horrid temporary thing but it took it's toll on me.

also, im confident that not every single member of staff will be going off sick at the same time and if they do ..it is what it is. it would be selfish of me to expect medical staff to somehow be these robots with no emotions. it is absolutely not my business what my colleagues do. there could be a million reasons why someone is struggling, it's not as easy saying 'suck it up' when you don't know the struggle people go through

Funny how it's the same people who are always off sick who needed to self isolate first,who can't go on the key worker childcare rota etc

Surely that's just inevitable logic? If someone is often sick then of course they are much more likely to need to self isolate and not have contact with key worker children.

Excuse typos, clearly I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I'm quite lucky really as some hospitals have 20-40% sickness right now and we're only on 15%.

This is going to test the limits of everyone. There will be no more safe spaces for the foreseeable. Unfortunately it’s a case of only the strong ones get by, the piling of stress from home, health, work, social issues is going to be enormous for many people.

As someone who has suffered with stress and been on sick leave due to it in the past, I can actually understand where you are coming from OP. Everyone is stressed and it adds to the stress of those who are at work when fewer people are there to work alongside them.

I cannot believe I am reading this from a hcp. People's mental health is going to be shot to bits after this but hey we have to soldier on. What about the families of those that cannot and get pushed to the edge and beyond by your comments. I have mh issues and have to monitor my energy levels very carefully and as a result I do not do overtime. I took two hours off this morning to go out for a walk because I was in tears about the boss being a bully. He will have to cover if I do succumb.
I am trying really hard not to fall back to the suicidal person I was 12 months ago which took up police, ambulance, doctors etc time to find me and section me.
Your comments are not helpful because now I feel I have to work doubly hard to cover for others and it will have an effect on my health and that of my ds who will be the one to call the police when I hit rock bottom again.
If you're in a hospital any where near me I would rather die than you treat me

I get what you mean op. A lot of my time is currently spent trying to reassure and support scared staff. The first thing I do is agree with them it's reasonable to be scared. This is fucking terrifying. Unless you're working in an acute trust, you cant possibly imagine how frightening it is - and we have no time or spare energy to be scared because people need us. The team has to keep moving forwards because that's the only way we can get through this. So we talk and carry each other.^^ I don't mind this at all. It's my job.
In that context though it's bloody annoying when you have a minority of people bitching about their lot like they are the only precious pebble on the beach, It's like 'hello, nobody is having fun here, shut up or leave'

I agree to a point. I think there is stress and then there is unmanageable stress which leads to severe anxiety and depression.
Its obviously right for the people in the second group to take time off and I'd hope they would be supported whatever the circumstances, but there will be some people who feel stressed because this is an unprecedented situation where everyone is anxious and stressed and who ideally want to be at home, really those people need to be in work. Its just very hard to know who is in which group and so dangerous to make judgements because of that.
I'm 3 and a half weeks in to being off with covid19, it's been absolutely dreadful, I honestly think it will take me weeks or more to recover as I've felt so awful and have underlying conditions but I will go to work next week despite that I guess and despite that I am also terrified about the health of my own parents. I've actually never felt so anxious in my life but I cant in good faith working for the NHS stay at home for any longer than absolutely necessary..

There will always be people who can cope in situations and those that can't. Where I used to work ( NHS ) there were colleagues who would take six months off on full sick pay following the death of a parent and others who were back and functioning after a week or two. I took only three weeks off after my dm died suddenly in tragic circumstances and that felt ok to me but others would have taken a lot longer.

And as others have said there has never been any kind of comparable stress to this virus. Going to work each day knowing you could bring a virus home that could kill you or your family is beyond comprehension.

@Autumnwindinthewillows I can honestly say that you are reading my posts but not understanding me if you think this is aimed at you. No one should feel suicidal and guilt tripped into work and as a hcp I would care for you as if you were one of my family if you can't to my trust. This isn't really about people with mh issues (I didn't really articulate that in my initial post), this is about the lazy cf ego use it as an excuse. I wonder if those who suffer from mh issues find it hard to believe that their are cf out there who do take the piss. Disappointingly they do and that's probably why mh isn't always taken seriously. Please take care of yourself and know this post isn't aimed at you or others in similar positions.

YANBU. Some people are whiney selfish snowflakes hiding behind mental health issues. Everyone is stressed at the moment, I'm juggling between a family member who is very very ill, huge debt, and the possibility of losing my job but I wouldn't dream of saying I can't work and abandon my team. Call me judgmental, I dont give a shit. I dont know how people cope if there is ww3.

Came to my trust (not can't). Stupid predictive text and tiredness

Mumsnet is so hilarious. All these people saying you are wrong and don’t understand your situation.

I can already imagine how outraged these same posters would be if they rocked up to a ward with Covid 19 and were told they couldn’t get treated because all the medical staff called off with stress.

Pile the same amount and type of stress on two people and they will react and cope differently.

One may use it as fuel to step up to the challenge, another may not cope at all. These are exceptional circumstances.

@m0therofdragons you are doing a fantastic job on the front line, it takes a special type of person to do your job right now and we all appreciate every single minute you give the NHS right now, but you have no way of knowing if, like your colleagues, you will crack under the pressure tomorrow or the next day or suddenly become too scared to continue. Take care and keep safe. ❤️

Wow, how judgemental. This is an attitude that annoys me. A few weeks ago one of my colleagues had a complete mental breakdowns (not NHS) and the comments some colleagues came out with were unbelievable. So nasty, especially because he's a man, he should be able to cope was one I heard a few times.
You don't know what others are dealing with, you don't know they're being cf. You have no idea at all. It's the wrong attitude.

Thank you @WeAllHaveWings I love my job and work with some of the most inspirational people you could meet. As a hospital team, we will be stronger after this - friendships are being made and trust being built. There are positives in every negative. We'll get through one day at a time together.

I have seen on MN a hardening of attitudes towards people with MH issues at the mo.

I think this will get worse, with them being seen as weak and not pulling their weight.

I was very ill with peri natal depression and anxiety which went on for years. Getting back out into the world and working helped me a lot. That is gone. I am still working FT but in only a week I spiralled down really fast. I can't do this till October. I can't even do it for another few weeks. I have talked to GP and going back on ADs. I feel really guilty about work. But. This is going to be really tough for a lot of people and some won't make it. Those people have kids.

Yes I feel guilty about work but. I can't do this. DH is a key worker in a different area and I think, at least he gets to go out. I know it's shit for people on the front line. Really shit. But I'm not sure the increasing negative attitude towards those with mental health issues is warranted.

Guys, you don't have to be nice (luckily), but try and be fair.

Increasing your colleagues' stress in a national crisis by calling in sick with stress yourself can't go down well if you're one of the colleagues.

Every workplace has its CFs, and every worker knows who they are.

That has 0 to do with mental illness, except that 'stress' is probably on every CF's rota of sicknotes right now, below self-isolating/back pain/other current popular ailment.

After this, there will be NHS staff who will be rightly proud of themselves, and NHS staff who get internal transfers a lot. That's the best outcome for them and us.

Oh wrong thread to post that.

Just read the last few posts see that people keen I off myself for being a snowflake

My kids are 10 and 12. DH is a keyworker. He would have to take a bit of time out, I assume. How does that help.

Oh well done you. You deal with stress so much better than those awful people who take time off because of it. You must be very proud of yourself.

I generally deal with stress pretty well, I generally work better in stressful situations, I can pretty much cope when life throws shit at me.

But two years ago some stuff happened and I had to take a step back and have some breathing space or I would have gone under. I had a really understanding boss who basically told me to go off and come back when I had things under control.

I absolutely guarantee, if this had hit at that time when I couldn’t cope already, there is no way I’d be able to keep working.

YABVU to suggest people don’t struggle with stress, just because you are “stressed”

I'm with you op.

Predictably the same people are currently off in our team that seem to periodically go off with leaving the rest of us with 2-3 times the workload, not giving two shits about anyone's else's stress levels. This will be exactly the same.

I remember a classic moment when one cf returned from months of sick leave, and complained she still had lots of annual leave to take that had been accumulated whilst off and couldn't get the dates she wanted. Not a flicker of recognition that the rest of us had covered her work, had our leave cancelled, our training cancelled for months on end due to staff shortages and might need a break. First week back, me, me, me.

This isn't really about people with mh issues (I didn't really articulate that in my initial post), this is about the lazy cf ego use it as an excuse.

In your opinion. How long have you had your degree in psychiatry?

Yes you're right popim it is an unnecessary burden on others.

Thank you for being clear.