People calling in with stress

[m0therofdragons]

I'm finding it fascinating how different people cope with the current situation. Some seem so self absorbed with their own situation that they forget that others around them also have families and their own stresses. Calling in sick with stress right now feels wrong to me. I'm in an acute hospital - we're all stressed and going above and beyond, working 7 days, trying to ensure dc feel loved while battling guilt of leaving them to fulfill our duty. It's been interesting to see how some people have no sense of duty at all and are happy to save themselves at the expense of their colleagues.

I want to scream, we all love our dc and yours are not more important than mine!

I'm sure I'll get slammed for not being more understanding but I've heard so much crap today and need to rant. It's just as well we don't all give up when times are hard.

Mental heath is important, there was a nurse who committed suicide last week in London - at her hospital/place of work after her shift. You never know who has reached their limit, medical staff or not.

I agree. I'm in primary care and am hugely stressed at the moment for various reasons but wouldn't dream of going off as I know it would seriously affect colleagues
Within our team there are a few who go off regularly but most battle on

Imagine you're worried for your health or for someone you live with and you are not officially eligible to be off sick. You can't afford to take unpaid leave. You might have asthma or have a child who regularly gets chest infections. You feel more worried because of that but actually you are not just worried, you are terrified and certain catching this virus means you or a loved one will die. You go to work and you will eventually catch it so you're on edge all the time. The complete and absolute saturation of this story is inescapable when you're not at work too. You're thinking about it all the time. You are going to break down very quickly with that level of stress and anxiety. You'll be useless at work.
This is many people in the nhs. This hero nonsense doesn't help. They are doing their jobs, living day to day. Going to work isn't really a choice. They're under immense pressure now but didn't develop super human coping mechanisms overnight.
Whilst you may not understand it, don't carry that attitude that staff are 'deserters'. Those off with stress will be even more stressed because they know people will have this opinion of them.

I'm pretty robust psychologically and quite resilient and am feeling much less anxious I think than most people. I am still working bank when I can around dh and dc etc and am able to put negative thoughts out of my mind. But I can still imagine how it is affecting others who don't feel like me.

I am 100% with you OP - if you work in health & social care, you have a duty of care to your patients and other team members - that’s what you signed up for - I have found work really really tough recently - I have a son on remand at a London prison with suspected schizophrenia, a daughter who has just had her A Levels and social life cancelled and a hormonal 13 year old but I will always honour my responsibilities at work.

I get that people cope with life’s stresses differently but sometimes it is better to soldier on and face challenges like this in order to help others.

My post is judgemental, yes. Realistically we all judge others and as per previous poster, we could have made a list of 50 per cent of those who self isolated as soon as they could.

Friends are losing jobs, terrified they'll have no income - I get that that is stressful. I'm terrified my dc will look back on this time and feel abandoned because they lucked out by having both parents who are key workers.

What I'm saying is right now life is pretty shit for everyone (although through all that I'm seeing amazing acts of kindness and moments that will stay with me for life). We're all in this together - but some are more committed than others. It's the same ones who can't get in on a snow day despite others walking twice as far through the snow to get in.

I manage a colleague who has mental health issues and I'm concerned about her and absolutely dedicating more time to her. This isn't about people like her, it's about the cf colleagues going above and beyond on their cheeky fuckery. I wasn't clear in my op - I think this thread has helped me to understand and distinguish this.

It is all relative

I'm still plodding on because of attitudes like yours OP
I don't think I should be working
I'm not sleeping
I am having numerous panic attacks daily
I cannot eat.

I'm frontline. Usually stoic too but this has knocked me ( and everyone else) sideways

Only difference is I'm struggling with daily tasks because of it.

Have you seen the impact of severe stress and anxiety on a person? At the extreme you're look at that nurse who committed suicide last week.
Those if you saying that it's selfish etc, you might as well say that psychological and MH issues aren't real. Because if you can "just push through it" then surely everyone can, right? That's great that you've got that level of resilience then that's great. But don't bash those that don't.

if you work in health & social care, you have a duty of care to your patients and other team members

Yes, and you also have a duty of competence.

If you have been deemed unfit for work by a doctor, you are no longer competent to do your job and shouldn't be working, especially when your mistakes could cost lives.

@MadameTuffington I'm sorry, that sounds really tough. Take care of yourself. Being a mum and dealing with life's complexities is hard enough without covid19 on top xxx

We're all in this together - but some are more committed than others.

And some have better mental health than others, some have stressors of which you know nothing.

You work in health and yet deny mental health problems exist or that their is a difference between stress which leaves someone able to function and stress which renders them ineffective or incapable?

Do you tell colleagues ringing in with physical ailments that they are simply not committed enough?

I agree with you. I could have predicted those at my workplace who would go off with ‘stress’ and lo and behold they’re off work, leading the rest of us to pick up their workload.

It's the usual sicknotes who all jumped at the chance to take 14 days off for isolation, claiming a family member had symptoms, then when that ran out this Monday they called in sick with stress. People are using this crisis as an excuse to doss about. Shameful behaviour when the rest of us are doing our best to keep the health service running

@Carrotcakeforbreakfast I'm so sorry to hear that. I for one would never judge you for taking time off. Minds and bodies have a limit. You need to look after yourself before you can look after others.

We sent a member of staff home last week as she was making mistakes, crying all the time.
She is usually one of the toughest people I know.

I started a thread actually as i was shocked at my other colleagues speaking so horribly about her " fucking lazy bitch" etc

It is obviously more widespread than my trust.
The ever caring hcp.

You have my sympathy, Some people do take the piss but some people are just not very resilient either. I've also worked with people who fall over at the slightest thing. True anxiety is crippling though. Agree with posters here that there will be a minority of people using the current situation to their advantage.

These feelings and attitudes will always be a problem while we use the same vocabulary for emotions and illness. Stress the emotion is not Stress the illness. Depressed the emotion is not Depression the illness.

Nobody would say 'I can't believe that person going off work ill with norovirus. I've been feeling sick all day because I'm worried but I'm still here' because it's very clear that a) is a serious illness and b) is an emotional reaction. The same is true with stress the mental illness and feeling stress.

We are all as a nation in pretty poor mental health right now and I totally agree with you that we've got to pull together in a crisis and do our best to get on with whatever our role in that is without giving in to our feelings. But for someone who has a mental illness that isn't going to be possible.

Same difference with being in poor physical health but continuing with life and having a physical illness and staying in bed.

Quite

The thing is op you don't have a clue if the "cheeky fuckers" are struggling with their mental health or not because so many people don't share that.

I have long term (20 years) mental health issues but outwardly outgoing and confident. I'm also generally high functioning. People I've worked with for years don't know this and the ones who do, know a very watered down version.

If I go off with stress it's because my mental health really isn't in a good place. It's reactions like yours that make it harder to be open.

I agree, OP. People have no guilt in adding to the workload of others, who often have more going on, because they're self centred. Me me me.

true anxiety is crippling quite, which is why the piss takers annoy me because it means those who truly need mental health support can get judged as cf. There is a difference and those who need help should absolutely get it. It's the cf who would call in sick for a broken nail given half a chance.

You don’t understand stress, you’re being incredibly dismissive because you don’t understand, and you should recognise that the problem is yours and therefore you’re the one who needs to fix it by better educating yourself.

I agree op. Where's the resilience?