30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

I ate a Bounty bar, Was not for charity though just pure greediness. Hope you all have nice weekends planned? Can't MN over the weekend as I'm off wearing nice shoes and trying on posh frocks, but will be hoping there is good news a plenty on here when I return. Tequila slammers and vintage Krug for all, topped with grated Twirl bars.

Whaddaya mean, trying on posh frocks? Is you modullin?

Afternoon all

Fanks all for good forts and luvverly candleature. Funeral went as well as these things can, I think she'd have liked it. She had a good lot of flowers, which she definitely would have liked (none of this new fangled charidee stuff).

ILs just left so am on my own for the first time since Monday, which is utter bliss, though it's been lovely having them here. FIL took the funeral which was so kind of him and made it really personal.

So I am FFJtastic and awaiting the return of my manfolk so the SWFI can commence for the month.

Rang GP just now and grovelled to the Fuhrer who is on reception for an advice call so I could discuss my blood results. She gave me the "But they say normal, so you don't need one" line to which I very politely asked her to go through the numbers with me - at which point apparently I COULD have a call after all. So am awaiting callback. So if those of you who know anything about these things could be around later I'll post em for you to break my heart advise me on.

Saltster, Twinky - any news?

Welcome to all the noobs, looking forward to getting to do know you.

In other news, my latest batch of exam results are in: 70/80/81/86% I fucking ROCK.

Mmmm I've just had homemade rhubarb and apple crumble with cream for lunch. My body is a temple.

It is thundering here. It freaks me out. This is my dad's fault. He used to get narked off with us when we were small because at the first hint of a storm we'd climb into bed with M&D. So to cure me of this, he stood me in a windowsill during the mother of all storms (think it was 76... showing my ancientness there) to show me how 'amazing, wonderful, beautiful' etc storms could be. At which point, tree about 30 feet from house was struck by lightning. Scared the shit out of me. I am 38 and still cannot go out of doors during a storm. At work I have been known to hide, rocking with fingers in ears, in stationery cupboard.

Sorry Cass, xpost. Glad it went as well as it could.

Did anyone else read that as "He used to get naked with us when we still at the first hint of a storm"....?!?

I thought we were about to have a right Oprah moment then.

BTW Cass well done on ace results.

Hey Casstus didya get the call back? Twink? Salt?

I am bored and also childless. CH asked me why is nothing going my way lately . Not the most helpful of comments.

Does someone want to play with me? Did I say I was bored?

Come and nestle into Pollster's busom with me MounteryJack Who's CH?

GP called back but the duty doc was the grumpy sod of the practice and didn't seem to understand or care what I wanted. So I still don't know my FSH/LH numbers, because I am a stoopid scaredycat. But he did say they were "well within" normal. And my day 21 prog was 37, where apparently over 30 indicates you've OVed? So that seems ok?

CH = Chubby Hubby. To twee for Le Palais? He IS indeed chubby and a hubby...

Well, not the biggest of experts, but it all sounds fine to me. Including the grumpy GP - wouldn't be right otherwise. Can you ask for a printout?

Congrumalations Cassiopaeia AND NO I AM NOT GOING TO GOOGLE THE SPELLING . And I v. v. glad that it was all that she would have wished, and that it was as good as it could've been.

Damned docs. I def. def. lucked out with my lot. Wish I could somehow transport y'all to my postcode purely for medickular purposes.

GOD I'm horny. You're all looking hot as all get-out tonight, I must say. Now then Aries I've dropped my keys, perhaps you could bend down and pick them up for me eh? And Stinky, surely you're hot in that blouse, why doncha undo another button or two?

Note to self: Lesbian encounters, whilst indisputably enjoyable, are not the accepted route to a baybee.

No, but they're more fun than shagging-to-calendar....

Yeah you work it girl WORK it!

I realise I should channel this into the OM, or let him channel something into me, at the very least .

But he's watching the golf. The fucking GOLF! It's not that I wouldn't be able to tempt him from the silly trousers; it's that I cannot find a golf-watcher attractive. Why doesn't he just smear himself in shit and read a Jodi Picoult book aloud in a thick Brummie accent?

Disclaimer: my nieces are Brummies.

Yes, come join us Mountie, there is plenty of room.

Golf? Eurgh.. almost as bad as snooker. But not as bad as football, thank Allan that is over. Have you tried dancing nekkid in front of the TV HeadCase? You know, all alluring and 'tales of the unexpected' stylee?

Where is Scropes? I thought she'd be here by now, I want to know how the no-menkulling is going after surviving a day full of 'hold my baybee please?'

Sorry Cass, 37 is good for progesterone, as you said, over 30 indicates ovulation. Good point with asking for copy of results tho (sorry, can't remember who suggested that), no room for confusion there. Bastard GPs make me wanna BESHsmash.

How hard can it be to give out actual results? Head I reckon you should rent your GP out, surely that must be possible under whatever the latest set of rules are.

Having been weirdly optimistic about the whole ttc thing this month for reasons unknown, now it's SWI time I'm convinced it's never going to happen (currently on the basis that my lack of FFJ means all sperm will die instantly and never swim anywhere). Is it not possible to be balanced and neutral through all of this? At least some of the time? Please?

So to distract me I'm just going to empty this bag of twirls all over the floor, get in position and see how many of you are tempted .

Occs, I found the longer the ttc went on, the more insane I got and then it kind of levelled off thankfully. There is only so much menkul your brain/heart can take. Only those who get diffed by accident/on month 1/by looking at a cock find it unstressy.

Are you ok Salty?

You is a brain box Stewpot, well done.

Twinks come back, how are you doing? I also thinking of Salts, wonder how she is doing...

Is v quiet this evening, where is everyone? What do you mean, you are busy?

AHEM.

Baby boy born fifteen minutes ago. Very long apparently. Forty hour labour "fucking awful". Didn't ask the weight as was so freaked out and won't say the name! Feel very weird about it, because he's been whisked off into an incubator and couldn't ask questions as she was in such a state. I think you lot now know before my parents. Which is wrong!

I ain't held no babies today, so am fairly unmenkul (disclaimer: for me). I really do think the law should be changed so that is legal for women over 30 to brutally murder all other women over 30 who get 'seeadick' pregnant their first time of trying This ire is due to the gossip I had to overhear and not react to that I heard at work today - although my left eye was doing a twitchy 'pyscho' staring thing at it, so may have outed myself as a BESH anyway: friend of bossfriend, who has 2 kids has had her third abortion in a year, because they only want 2 kids and despite using both the pill and condoms, they are both so super-fertile that they somehow keep diffing. Despite the fact that she is v fat - I mean crazy-huge American Fat (this makes me doubly irate, somehow). How is this even fair? HOWWWWWWW? I am passionately pro-choice but this kinda news sorely tests my dedication to the stance.

Occs, I started this cycle off feeling totally optimistic and certain that this month is the one. Have now abandoned all hope (no doubt like the spermz that get past my cervix). If there's a way to be properly well-balanced, I'd like to know it. I can be fairly balanced leading up to Ov time, but the rest of the time - fuggedaboutit. I hate wishing my days away, wishing it'd be about DPO11 so I knew if proper droid signs were present or not

Cass, big hugs and well done you girly swot!

Any news from Salty?

BingoBangoBongo, I've just got to reach across you to get the... oooh dear, will have to lean onto your lap. Please excuse my inappropriately low-cut top and lacy bra underneath, barely concealing my rosebud ni... sorry, where was I?

Awwwwww. Scary stuff, but well done SisofAries and NephewofAries and welcome to the world

hurrah for Arie's Nephew!

Congratulations AuntyAries. I can't remember why it is he needed to be whisked off in an incubator, but hope the medics have got it all under control. When do you get to meet him?