30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

Good link Lyra

I'm just settling down to do some yoga, with a massive mug of orange builders tea beside me. I thought y'all might like the picture

Ooh, have you seen this Richard Dawkins web chat

OK, not so sure about looking forward to lettuce, but definitely looking forward to strawberries and raspberries and blackcurrants. My project was a pumpkin which hasn't died yet and I'm hoping will be fun to carve come the autumn.

Have just been doing some gusset rummaging (there are advantages to working from home!) and discovered I actually have proper stretchy FFJ, which I reckon is the first time ever. Am now over excited and ready to jump TH when he walks through the door, although I suspect that won't get me very far....

Now strawberries and raspberries I can get on board with. With cream, obviously....

What day are you Ockyticktocky ?

occers don't tell him about the ffj. Just make out that you are overcome with lust and must have your way immediately! Blame it on the sun.

Mmmm, cream. I'm definitely more interested in the fruit than the veg.

I think he'd just look bemused if I tried to explain about FFJ so overcome with lust it is! CD15 I think, which would be early for me oving but I won't complain.

TYF bloody loves lettuce. Can happily sit and munch on a bag like it's crisps. Same goes for my Mum. There can be no link between this and them both being stick thin, can there?

Drom, I would rate your menkul as average. As HouseofTheRisingSan can tell you, wimminz wot have been told 'abandon ye hope' and sent straight to IVF without stopping to collect £200, can win at the very prospect of actually getting the stuff. And ChokebyChuckPalahniuk, if one has to be a cliche, surely this is the best one?! Your win has certainly given me plenny o' BESHpiration.

Oh yeah, and all you beyotches can keep your filthy hands off my crown of fucking menkul Although I don't think this is a winning month. There was virtually no FFJ. Of course, the last 2 months, when I couldn't have any sex, I was fucking drowning in the stuff

Cheers for that link, RaRaSkirt. Blahdy Docs, trying to make us feel guilty for every-cunting-thing in the world. Which came first - women worrying about everything or women being told they're doing anything wrong?

evening all. Mumsnet is really bringing in the big guns now.

Sorry it was a neg, Muse; I'm going to break with tradition and shout DON'T POAS. Just for a few more days, give yourself a break.

And hugs to CamelaStevenson, can't blame you for Menkulling.

Had my Day 21 blood tests, nothing much to report. But as the nurse said blood donation should be OK, duly trotted along to my appointment (works visit by the blood donor people) and after whispered conversation (there were colleagues there FFS) was advised that I shouldn't donate as not in my interests to do so if I am trying to get pregnant. So nice of the blood donor nurse to tell me so, but I also had to give my closest colleague a little bit of info as she started to put 2 and 2 together. I sort of don't mind her clicking, but hope she doesn't keep asking me!

Ooh no-one's ever stopped me Medal < stewpot looks for any excuse to stop, quite frankly>

Ockywocky our lettuce time has come:

MN recipe of the week

CamelaStevenson = genius

this has just made me laugh - not work friendly!

Read the description and the reviews.

ps: S shaped ?!?

Blimey, the secret's out now Meds. She won't be able to stop herself asking. My mum phoned the other day and...get this...asked "How's the folic acid situation?" What a strange way of putting it. I said "Do you mean am I pregnant yet Mother? Don't ask me ever again. I forbid it. You'll know if it happens."

Despite being the one to bring up the sweet peas, I am no horticulturalist. I have herbs in pots, some half hearted busy lizzies and a stunted olive tree and that's it.

You'll all be relieved to know I have made a full recovery from my cardiac arrest and am feeling more positive though still have lots of debt. You were all right - everyone in the world will be holidaying in the UK this year and the summer will be the best since 1976 (when I was one and the aforementioned mother went round the twist because of nappies, stand pipes, builders, heat and general water shortages. It sounds wonderful doesn't it?).

Sorry - mememe post. Hopefully you'll find some further tasks to aid the repression, Cass and Lyra (am hurt btw at your comparison to a mother-in-law! )

and this comment, from William from Dundee:

" Bad Points - It is possible I may be using it the wrong way as there was no instructions"

the mind boggles

Ahem.

Salty may have some News. You heard it here first.

hello. pops up behind Aries

I have a positive.

Sorry for blurting it out first OldSalt. Twas bad form.

Congratulations.

twaddle. Have a gin on me Airy-Fairy

I think she'll be cool, HairieMcLairie; if I weren't her boss we'd be best pals (and I won't be her boss forever.)

Congrats Salty you sly old thing! Pints of pina coladas all round.

Anyway, back to memememe... today was the day I was waiting for the phone to ring to tell me that Jesus is high risk for downs. But it didn't! Hoorah! I can finally go public and tell people. Woop woop!

Where is everyone? Join me for some champers darlinks?

That's really good news Pollster (even though statistically it was a small chance anyway). Let the telling commence!

Do you think it is a) naff and b) inappropriate and c) lazy to announce on FB 'PollyPoo is up the duff. Hooray!?

All the important people know already (like you lot for example). I was trying and failing to think of something witty and sharp to announce in a not so blatant way. But I am failing. Any suggestions? I always did like 'in pig'.... 'PollyPoo is in pig.'

Fuck it, I don't know... what is the etiquette for such circumstances?

Makes you sound like a sow!

Say "enceinte" and see what they make of that.

"in pig" works if you are a Mitford but not sure about the rest of us! Great news, though that Hayzeus is not high risk!

Well done, Ifyoudreamofsanddunesandsaltyair! We need a win to cheer this fred up

And well done to Poll, for bringing forth The Second Coming problem-free. Praise be!

I don't normally drink, but I could be persuaded to partake of a little 'poo, er, Poo

And I second that Camela Stephenson is pure genius. Medee deserves twins for that wun!