30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

Well done Salty. Wondered why you'd been quiet. And fabulous news Pollster, am so pleased.

My husband is a fucking moron. I've spent the whole afternoon sending him saucy messages, leaving him poring over the Ann Summers catalogue whilst I have a bath and what's he doing, 2 fucking hours later? Watching the fucking football downstairs while I have long since given up languishing temptingly across the bed in my towel all moist and glisteny and we've now had a row and he's stomped off.

Fucking MEN. Or rather, NON fucking men.

Bah.

sorry to hear that tag. If it helps, I have just exited 24 hours of man Hell and agree that they can be right wankers. Hope things brighten soon and you get the rutting you deserve

congrats salty - that was quick! Guess you had no need for the B in Besh then - well done. Sure there's a spot for you on both the PESH and Frolicker Grad threads now.

And a massive hurray for the announcement of the impending arrival of a healthy poo messiah! How does Brian sound for a name? So glad there was no phone call and you can feel comfortable sharing the news.

Sounds like an SWI night in my house TagHeuer. Bloody men.

Sorry, x-post Casp. Fank u vey much. I think I will be steering clear of christmas themed names ta v much!

Am with you there Tag. Fucking, bastard, twattish men. He's in a mood with me, and as such, refuses to shag me. Nobber.

That's Mr obviously, not your man.

LOL. Mine's a nobber too.

And yours never refuses to shag me

Um yes. Did you just say "LOL"?

Yes. I wanted to be controversial and I decided that was the part of my post to do it in

Hooray for Polly and Salty, boo to uncooperative men. My attempt at SWI was met with "can I just place these animal enclosures?" (some computer take over the world game he's playing), so romantic. But at least he then cooperated. FFJ all appears to have disappeared though, most odd.

Oh and lettuce risotto just sounds weird. TH is a rabbit in disguise so eats the stuff as fast as it grows and like TYF and Scorps' Mum is a skinny thing. But then he eats far more of everything else than I do too so I suspect it's just the unfairness of the universe at work.

mmm, there appears to be lots of SWI on the horizon; here's hoping for Mass Diffment (July episode) in a fortnight.

Lots on the horizon and yet very little actually managing to take place!! But well done to Ocky and anyone else who managed it.

Off to bed now. And NOT for that.

Yo gals, done me exam and all and I can see some of you went and got diffed while I was absent. Now, now, girls, at this rate that PESH palais is gonna get filled up too quickly! But now that I think of it, we'll just have to extend it which means more work for me in these recession times! Yey for Salty and Polly. What else has been going down in this beshly world? I have mum and bro staying over, and I think it's THE time, but am resorting to piss sticks cause we'll have to have a sneaky one what with the tiny London flat and all. Sucks though, I am sure one timed time ain't gonna work for this BESH and her not very spunky other.

Hi Mountie, well done on getting through the exam. I think we've already established that once is plenty, so have fun with the sneakiness.

Lettuce is actually really nice in risotto.

It took me TWO FUCKING HOURS to get home from my course this evening. TWO FUCKING HOURS from Oxford Circus to SE London. Trains were completely cancelled due to 'person on the tracks'. I feel awful complaining in these situations, and guilty for feeling pissed off. I shall keep the pissed offness for fucking buses that go all round the houses. And the twat sat next to me with his legs wide apart all pressing into my personal space. And the other twat eating vile stinky takeaway.

I got home and threw up. Nice.

Threw up, you say?

You are ever optimistic Scorps. I do have a tendency towards travel sickness.

But, day 27 and no sign of droid. No sign of symptoms either really. Had a good boob proddage and they are neither painful nor enlarged.

polly woop woop for the silent phone! Was confident it would all be good, but tis still nice when proven right . Announce away!

Congrats to salty. muse I'm still hoping, hoping, hoping for you.

Bah to twattish men. Mine was a twat the other night too, but the other way around. I was knackered & not feeling great (not life threatening or owt, just looking forward to going to bed & sleep). He asked me what day I was on - CD 17 & poss oving. But I added quickly that I wasn't really in the mood, was he? Then he made me feel all guilty & said he could be. So I couldn't rest & go to sleep then anyway! Was quite glad to be persuaded though

I've tried temping again this month, despite knowing it adds to the menkal My temp shot up yesterday morning. I had had a restless night, but I thought it nicely fit in with ov. Then this morning, after a lovely sleep its back down again. WTF? If I don't win this month I'm half way through my course of Clomid, so will have to go back to FC. I need reassurance that I am oving, as I'm not 100% convinced.

Ooooh, sorry about that, I came over all TTC

Anyhoo, tis Friday, & that means a pub lunch. After a crap meeting this morning.

Laters!

Oh, sorry, meant to also say a big well done to mountie for surviving exams.

DPO4 in the Scorpette Womb and there is weird, painful cramping. Scorpette is considering a mild menkul despite promising self she wouldn't 2WOOFL.

Actually, it could be DPO5. Me and Fertility Friend have fallen out over when I ov'ed this month. From all the usual feelings and signs, I defo think it was monday (CD14) but my temp rose that day and FF now insists it was Sunday (CD13). We only did the wild thang on Sat and Sun, so am hoping it wasn't Sunday. Anyway, weird twinges in me Wimbledon. Is clearly nuffink, but a BESH can dream, can't she?

Also, have slight real worry - ever since last September, when the droid approacheth I've been getting horrible pains on either one or both sides of each breast, and there's a raised lump. Doc told me is just a crappy hormonal pre-menstrual symptom and not to worry about it if it's only occurring pre-droid. And the lump or lumps and pain do disappear with the droid. BUT! Started getting this pain and a tangible lump on the left on Saturday. It's not like a lump lump, ie causing me to run round house in hysterical tizzy about the Big C but is like a nodule on a muscle. Have been telling myself that if it's a hormonal thing, then it must have come up due to the extra hormones of Ovulation but am still a bit hmmmm. Do you fink I should talk to doc about it? Trouble is, it'd be about 10-14 days time, so it'd be long gone. I also have 'granular' breasts and surrounding area (like all women in my family) so whole boobulant area is naturally a bit lumpy. Waaah, dunno if I'm being a hypochondriac or too casual or just right in my level of worry!

PS Enough about me - well done about your exams, LordMountbatten and huzzah for LOLCats' sexytime. A rise then a drop in temp could indeed indicate OV, so that was also v well-timed rudeness

Does it feel exactly like it does with droid? That would suggest it is maybe hormones. I'd probably get it checked out just in case though. If nothing else so you know you're doing something about it.

I really, really, hope this is your month for diffage Scorps. We need a proper BESH diffage, it has been too long.

I feel very rubbish this morning. I think I'm actually coming down with something, would explain a lot.

Hmmmm, Muse feels rubbish this morning , "So, how long have you been experiencing these symptoms, Madam?

Poor Muse Would it help to lick Night Nurse off my buzzwams?

In other news STELLA MCCARTNEY IS STEALING OUR BAYBEEEES!

Sexist bloody Daily Fail refers to her as 'Miss McCartney' cos she kept her own name after marriage. Everyone knows you become a Ms if you marry but keep your own name but that's a step too far in women's rights for them. Read a fascinating article last week about how women under 60 being photographed for DM articles are banned from wearing trousers as it 'upsets and confuses' their readers!

I am drinking a cup of tea with 2 sugars in it. It is objectively disgustingly sweet, but it is waking me up like a good un.

Is it symptoms to feel rubbish? I have been very tired this week. I want them to be symptoms, but I am trying to avoid going into meltdown if they're not.

Ugh, I now hate Stella McCartney. How fucking selfish. I wanted 4 children. TG said he'd get the snip after 2, but that is besides the point. She is stealing OUR baybees.

Muse I really really really hope you win this month - you must be the start of the mass summer diffment project.