30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Yey Mani!!! He'll have the ladies flocking with an attitude like that

Yo, beatches! Have to do work today, but thought you might appreciate the feminist might of the Brontesaurus and I for one welcome our new insect overlords

I trust Cassie has gone to the GP on the back of sound and stern BESHly advice...

Aw Mani!

Lyra, you've had such good kind sage words that I won't repeat it all, other than to say that the positive side of it all is that they're not going to hang about. I totally get the flattened feeling of being pushed further than you thought very suddenly; Lawks I freaked out at being sent for the full MOT nine months sooner than I thought, so heaven knows how you feel.

Can't believe the comment about your age, I must say. I am rather dumbstruck.

I had some fab news this morning: my BESH pal who's been trying for (I think) about 15 months for her second got a nice pretty pink positive. I'm so thrilled I Tiggered around the office. And I hope it gives hope to all BESHes everywhere. Hey, let's rack up three lines of babydust. Got a twenty, anyone? .

Meanwhile I can't be arsed to 2WOOFL. We only SWId once this month, slightly later than would been ideal, and I've had no implantation-esque spotting for the first time in an age, and have classic Headbanger PMT signs (including the delicious pustules that arrive on my neck. Thanks, life), so I'm not giving it any thought this month. Onward to June...

I always kill the thread!

Hey ead...happens to me a lot at the moment too...I don't post for feckin' ages and then end up writing 3 in a row cos no one is around....

How are the plans for taking over the world of law?

I get paranoid! Blame having gone to a girls' school

Hm, well, is progressing in the sense that I am no longer losing sleep, because I'm becoming more firmly convinced taht I want to do it (that was my big trauma, because it's such a MAHOOSIVE change from what I always thought I'd be getting up to).

But preparing for the scholarship interview (the only possible way I can afford it) is kinda hammering home what I'm up against, viz., 22 year old Eton lads with tripe-starred firsts from Cambridge who have been interning at Daddy's best friend's chambers since they were old enough to make the Earl Grey..

I can't actually do owt about it until June so am trying to put it out of my head. Oh except I am meeting lots of barristers to talk it all over, which just makes me want it EVEN MORE...

tripe TRIPLE!

Offal really doesn't come into it...

You are ace. Ergo,you will be ace.

Nuff said.

And would a 'tripe-starred' first be 'offally good'???? (please blame my mum for such appalling puns popping into my brain. And also,it really needs a Scottish accent to work...)

Hah! I am going to print that out and give it to the scholarship panel. That'll show em!

Your pun is so good you've just overtaken Angelina has my lesbian crush.

How's your tooth? It's all so grim. I hate tooth stuff. Last year the OM got 3 injections into the wrong part of his jaw and it gave him internal bleeding in the face. Great big strapping copper was reduced to a pleading weeping child for 2 days. Appalling.

has as!

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

It's my attention to detail that the Bar really needs...

"Offally good"? Ha ha, loving it. I see you too are a fan of Sue Townsend!

Moshpit you will be ace. A breath of fresh hair that will blow the Eton, Early Grey drinking, daddy's best friend's chambers, pin striped Tory boys away. Get thee to Number 10! Make a difference!

"Early Grey" is of course a new drink. It's posh tea wot you drink early innit?

Somehow I can't picture angelina as a punster...

Maybe you should get a BESHerence written? We could all contribute! And,erm...probably lose you the scholarship. Hmm.perhaps not.

Tooth is vile. I think most of the inside of my lower jaw is currently an abscess. It seems to be sapping my energy,all I want to do is sleep...or sob and scream if the drugs wear off. Is a big pile of bollocks.

Where is stewie? she does know that she is not allowed to get everyone worried and then wander off doesn't she?

ginhag have been meaning to say hello and sorry for your poorly toof.

I just realised I never got back to your dp with that advice - does he still need it?

When have you got tooth doctor again, Gin? Seems like an awfully long time to wait with an abcess

That's one of my fave German words - Zahnarzt. So literal. Along with Durchfall.

Aries I gotta phone him tonight to say if pain starting to decrease now am on nuclear antibiotics...then tooth pulled on tues. They are hoping to get the rampant infection under control first I think...sure all will be fine eventually!

beshie ta! Hope you're doing ok yourself? How many weeks are you now? Am not sure about the advice,he hasn't done anymore about it...things have been mental at work so we've had loads of other stuff to stress about...so don't worry

I have just found out that little sis's utterly lovely boyf is about to have a brain scan (any second now.) I didn't really know much about his health worries and am now all anxious for him n sis. Some good BESH vibes in the direction of Cornwall if you please.

By the way Aries...no tooth insurance. In fact when this happened I discovered that I no longer even have a dentist...

Have had to start all over again. And fuck me,teeth are expensive.

Talking of appalling puns I have a meeting at gin o'clock - 2.30.

Haha.

I'll get me coat..............

Hahaha ouch.

Thanks for the vibes lorry. I am all in a panic about him now. He is such a sweetheart.

gin I am ok, apart from tonsilitis and a d&v bug that is more d than v (tmi? Compared to people discussing stringy brown frontbottom mucus? I don't think so).

I'm 20 weeks now, scan this week. Think it might be a boy...

lorry that was a proper mum pun, congrats, you win a baybee.

Sorry, gin of course, will be keeping everything crossed for sis bf.

Will your sis boyf get immediate results? Poor love. My friend had a recent brain scan due to sever headaches. Thankfully it was clear. Now diagnosed with cluster headaches & given uber strong painkillers. She's perked up a treat. Hope for similar results for the boyf.

head meant to say congrats to BESHtest friend. Its always good news to hear of a win.

bess if only it were that easy to win! Sorry you've been feeling poorly. Have fun at the scan. Half way there..........

Just a quickie to say sorry not been in sooner today but been working and flat out. Only just seen the advice, so I wasn't ignoring you honest!

Just to say pain's been much lessened today, though not gone entirely, so will mention to GP tomrrow morning. Am feeling well otherwise so going to hang on for that. Thanks so much tho for the concern, was mucho appreciated.

Will post more, got one more client to go then am collapsing in a heap with a takeaway as a protest.

Hope all well with everyone else. Will read back thru later when have more time.

YoYoYO! Soz haven't been in today till now, but have spent all morning having pre-op assessment for the lap (am much more okay about it all now) and have felt really ill; couldn't sleep cos was having Tory government nightmares! Am also ravenously hungry. Hmmm.

Anyway, am sending big luck vibes to GinSisBoyf down Kernow way. I hope all will be well - it must be a horrible time for them both.

And yet more vibes for gin's tooth and Tagine's back and kicks, snogs, gropes and earlobe-flicks to the rest of you slaaaaaaaaaaaags!

Huzzah for Head's BESHwin pal!

And Gin, I've had a tooth removed and I have really dense bones and strong teeth, so it was a barrel of laughs BUT the relief at getting the fucker out was indescribable. And now I can do a freaky missing-tooth pirate face to scare small children at parties!

Am now off to see what I can have to eat! (Have already had: porridge, steak and salad, BIG portion of home-made veg chilli and brown rice. Worra bloater!)

Everyone hates Scorps The Fred Killer