Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Hi ladies,

Been taking it easy & having quiet time with DH.
Alcohol very much appreciated!!! Can't be a proper chav without having some sort of miscarriage, bad birth, nearly lost the baby type drama. Surprised I haven't had one yet! (I'm trying to be cheery). The silver lining is I can actually conceive naturally so pretty happy about that!

What's everyone been up to?

It may be a very thin silver lining Fairy but at least you now know that the theory works! Good luck for testing the theory again this month.

Talking about theory I should be shagging tonight.... Eaten too much so not sure I fancy a theory test.

Fairy it's really good that your being positive but make sure you give yourslf time to grieve. I thought I was ok, tried really hard to be ok, but one day it all just hit me and knocked me off my feet. But hooray for silver linings.

On to more boring stuff spent today going round camping shops looking for a table before our camping trip at the end of the month. Highlight of my day was dh telling dd to be careful of the tent ropes (are they guide or guy ropes?) and then fell over it himself!! Me and dd couldn't help ourselves. Oh and dh has turned into a right sex pest which has peeed me off no end.

Sex pest - can you hire him out I want one of them.

PMSL at him falling over though.

PMSL!!! I think it's guide ropes. Thank you. Yep I'm taking it easy & seeing how things go!

xxx

Me and dd walked the opposite way laughing and trying to pretend he wasn't with us lol

As for him being a sex pest, I told him the rules are between day 8 and day 20 so f*uck off !

Lou gives us your postcode he's yours!!

Umbongo theres plenty of hooch left, help yourself

I wouldn't mind if my dp was a sex pest, would probably be up duff by now if he was. Iced that did make me laugh about he knows the rules so fu*k off. lol
I can't tell my dp what dates are best as it puts him off and then tells me i only want sex for a baby, well yeah thats right but i like to make him think he is pushing all the right buttons and i also like SFF.

Fairy it's good that your being positive, it's a good way of looking at it, and its good to know you can conceive naturally.
Think i used the word good to many times there.
Hope this is your month.

Cheers, don't mind if I do!

No sex pest here either (which is why I am MNing at this time of night!!) Can I have Iceds dh when you have finished with him please Lou At this rate Dazza is going to get his nose put out!

I don't tell dh what date it is either - he probably works it out as he is not that thick, but I don't really want to run after him with a positive OPK and demand sex!

Have ditched the thermometer and OPKs this month. Though I am pretty regular so know am about to lay an egg. TH is glad I gave up the thermometer as he found it all a bit weird.

Wonder how Pollypocket is now she has won her baby?

[Takes a bottle of hooch and downs it in one - surely its only lemonade]

I have mostly ditched the thermometer - just a couple of readings round egg laying time - but only if dh is either still asleep or already up! Did PO 1 S this month, as friend had given me some! Got a pos. So lassoed dh!

Don't worry about the hooch, Lou, its not really alcohol, that would be downing a bottle of voddy in one!!!

Have you tried stalking looking for polly on the antenatel threads?

Iceicemuffin I hope all goes well at docs. if they can't sort you out maybe dazza can.

BabyG how did it go. have you seen the doctor again?

Am liking my 90s inspired pop names.

Well LouLou I'm normal ! Everything (about 15 different tests) normal he was very pleased with my cholesterol . He did say if I have any more funny turns to go back and he will send me for further 'investigations'.

Well back to the mountain of ironing!

Thanks, Icedlemonmuffin - the name is a holday inspiration. We've brought back some tequila cream - something like baileys, but extra spices in it.

Got off the pill in January and this is my 5th cycle. Not much luck so far, but should not complain 5 cycles is not much by TTC standards... Trying for dc #1

Fairy, sorry about the MC

Am up for a sex pest - dh has improved, but wasn't really trying the last few months... Can you call 3 shags a month trying? Hardly... Shouldn't relly complain as I wasn't really initiating anything either.

Tequila welcome. Five months is long enough. Sex is over rated.

Ice are you sure the doc thought you were normal. I suppose he might be the first. Sorry, its great news. Must be a weight off your shoulders. All you need now is for him to refer you somewhere so you can find out why you have yet to win a babbbbbyyyyy.

Well Lou he did say test results normal not actually me lol

As for winning baby bingo he said come back in a few months and he will do tests on dh. But he did say I need to calm down and not get stressed I just smiled politely and imagined my hands around his neck he's nice really well better than my last gp who got struck off, but that's another story!

Hello to everyone else and sex is so over rated. Dh is away overnight so at least I get a night off from the sex pest.

lill gif fo ou ladis

I have ordered some. Well never look a gift horse in the face and all that...

Iceicemuffin I am surprised the doc is still alive after telling you to "calm down calm down" (I am just imagining the scouse accent).

We had sex at the right time just not sure we have won a baby this month. Not sure why not just not sure there was enough enthusiasm if that makes sense. Who was it that was saying horny sex is more likely to help win a baby? Well if that is the case then I have no chance.

(Tumbleweed emoticon)

You are not alone (lemon sings in the style of the late mj) Lou I am here with you lol

Sorry Internet was playing up and I couldn't connect. Well not much to report other than sex pest is back and is very close to being locked in the cupboard under the stairs but at least it's warm!

Sorry, I've been sitting feeling sorry for myself in the pit of despair the last week or so. Day 35 and stupid period still not fucking turned up so I can't even get my horrible tests done (and yes I have POAS). My cycles have been all over the place since the stupid miscarriage, so I've wasted all those months while pregnant and then all the months afterwards because my cycles are dicking about!

Lia I signed up for Duofertility about 18 months ago as they were trialling their new monitor and were looking for volunteers. They do like sending a lot of annoying spam. Mind you, two free pregnancy tests is nothing to be sneezed at!

Iced glad your tests came back ok! Where are you going camping?

Sorry Spongey that is a shitter. Going back to the monitor - did you get a free monitor? They do look interesting. But as it looks like I do ovulate and usually around day 14/15 and I have been banned from temping they are a bad idea.... Ok think I need that straight jacket of Lia's!

Anyway I liked this fred its full of people like us and I am on it here. I did stop buying clothes and bras for a while but decided that I am not going to get preggers anytime soon so might as well carry on as normal...

Iced what else can we do on the MJ karaoke? I am thinking Bad or Thriller and after a few gallons of Hooch we can try to replicate the great man's dancing.

No free monitor either! And they cost a ridiculous amount (think about £400 ish?) I don't need one now anyway, I get to peek at what's going on most months courtesy of the NHS dildocam.

Lou definitely a good idea to keep buying lovely clothes. I find that a good clothes splurge on CD1 helps heal the annoyance!

MJ hmmm... how about some Dirty Diana? We can do some filth grinding moves after a couple of Goldschlager shots?