Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Me, me! I am a bus whore!

TeaFan Age 31 TTC#1 12months

We have only timed it right on about 5 cycles as we were doing it all wrong at first! SWI can be quite boring once you find out that saliva is actually a spermicide, hence we only did it once last month, I am now on my period surprise surprise

Mr Tea, AKA 'Bobo the sperm killer', is a sneaky smoker and likes to boil his nuts in the tub and cannot be relied upon to to take his vitamins

Do I qualify?

I'll join you - its not been a year but am on cycle 11 or something horrid. Maybe its best not to keep stats as they might depress us more!!!

Mr Tea is on our wall of shame. Mr L has tight foreskin and I have to lie there and think of babies otherwise he can't do any SWI-ing!

Hello fellow bus whores !

Thanks for joining me, driver is fit , muffins fresh and there is lots of comfy seats and booze!

Mr Lemon still killing his sperm by laptop abuse , I would kill him if I didn't need him !
He is only allowed showers and wears boxers.

Next month going to swi on couch so I can still watch tv, bit hard to read his head kept getting in the way
Stats not essential sore lady bits are !

'Only allowed showers'? Mr Lemon surely is the first obedient man in the history of the world?!?

Mr Tea wears boxers...under his long johns

I wish he was Tea then he would take his vits without me shouting and he would stop killing his sperm by laptop !!!!

As for the bath I hide the plug

Ooh can I join?! So bloody fed up at this point, and its only been a few months.

We did it so much last month that my OH's bits got all red and sore from, ahem, overuse! Have bought preseed for this month, but it was nice to have him suffer for a change

cluckyduck that happened to my OH a few months back

I have heard good things about pre-seed on here, was waiting for my period to arrive to buy some.

Hi Cluckyduck grab a muffin and make yourself comfy .

I was thinking off getting some pre seed to avoid the sore bits and I'm going lie back and
watchtv think of England

hey you lot!!! Bit cheeky starting a new bus then not posting a link. How are us bus whore ttc'ers supposed to find you??

SO here I am

no bloody red tide yet, day 27.

Are we having a list over here or is this one just for the extras? ie alcohol, cake, choaolate etc?

my dh holds out hishand for his vits when I walk in the sitting room with a drink for him

Mind you was a close shave lat night, didn't think he was gonna manage to finish, he'd had a drink with work mates, was listening with half an ear to v]bloody creaking door and then my phone got a message and starting flashing a blue light, as kinda off putting.

Got there in the end though you'll be pleased to hear.

No such thing as TMI on here

Sorry Lia still quite new to technology can post but I couldn't link, tried and failed.

Would be relieved if another clever bus whore could do the link for me

there can never be to TMI the more the better !!

Stats
icedlemonmuffin ttc2
ladybits -getting sick of cockadoodle
Food-muffins
drink-babysham

Only up to my 5th month but I do have sore ladybits and a DH who decides he is ill at critical time so can I hop on lol.
Passes round some jaffa cakes (hmm...forgot how much I like these)

Another DH to add to the wall of shame - MrSilverBoots aka MrBoozyHotBollocks (and NOT in a good way)

Oh lord - I've just made DH sound like a porn star - nothing could be further from the truth!

Hello all, can I join? TG is NOT in the doghouse at the mo (for once), as he has been instigating the SWI and taking his supplements without being bullied. It won't last though...

We've been at it for 22 cycles and I am generally sick of the sight of cock tbh. I got cystitis last month from too much SWI. Mind you I have to admit, this month was actually fun, almost like the old days...

Ooh, did someone say jaffa cakes?

Hi Boots , Polly and Stuffed you are now bus whores

Lol Boots at your porn star husband!! Is Boozyhotbollocks for hire ?

Polly I know what you mean about cockadoodle been trying about 30 cycles before and after mc and It just doesn't excite me the same way.

Stuffed not got any tips on husband training but lia might her dh appears better behaved than mine.

I have just eaten my own body weight in thorntons toffee feel sick now!!

Cock is dull. It goes in and out. It used to be fun though. Just hoping I get pregnant this month then I can go into retirement for a year as TH won't have sex when I am with child as I had a bad bleed last time just after a vigorous session so looking forward to that!

Lou TG wouldn't touch me whilst up the duff.. I am SOOOO looking forward to a holiday!

Can I join? Fed up is soooo last year - I'm bloody p*ed off now. Actually been trying nearly 28 months now!!!! Surprised DH is still up for it!!!

Maybe we should rename the thread. Please let us get pregnant as we have had enough SWI for a lifetime. Like the real title better but sounds like we are all a bit annoyed trying to make sex darn sexy.

Had really bad ms from 6 weeks to 35 weeks with dd so unless dh had a sick fetish i was safe!!!

Lou title could be' fcked off with being fcked' or 'sick of cock pass me the turkey baster' !

Welcome Fairy my dh said he's got the easy job - he's just got to put it up and waggle I have to push it out . (5 mins compared to 3 days with dd)

This is true Iced. I think I'm just fed up cos this will be our first. DH is convinced well get a girl first as they like to be fashionably late, stubborn & awkward like their mum!!!!!

Tomorrow will be the beginning of month 28 SWI!!!!!

Like the Turkey baster title.

He is right about girls- dd 12 days overdue when i was induced , 3 days later had emergency c section and she is just as stubborn now.

I am lucky to have her and fingers crossed for you Fairy .

Evening fellow whores

Just made the mistake of telling OH, BoboTheSpermKiller that he is officially on our wall of shame, he is very proud of himself and reckons he could have a good night out with MrBoozyHotBollocks!

He thinks our thread is akin to a coven but it's a corker - well done Lemon!

Right, i'm off to Amazon to buy Zestica. Will make things interesting and hopefully feel like i'm doing something productive now that i've given up trying to guess identify when I OV! I'm officially out of TTC energy and am just not using contracteption instead