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Conception

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Original poster

Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

993 replies

Icedlemonmuffin · 24/02/2010 11:51

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

OP posts:
TeaFan · 25/02/2010 22:00

Hi ladies, BoboTheSpermKiller has definitely killed a fair few tonight...he drank 4 pints of beer after work tonight! On top of that he wouldn't take his vitamin in front of me so for all I know he could have fed it to the dog

Told him my plan about not timing SWI any more and just having regular sex through my whole cycle...do you know what he said?!?!? 'Well, as long as it's in the right window' Like having sex with me is a chore ! That is just the attitude i'm trying to avoid... Am not mentioning babies to him ever again until I get a BFP...maybe not even then...maybe i'll wait till he notices a bump!

liahgen66 · 25/02/2010 22:07

my dh is in the pub too tonight tea had some bad news about a project at work.

This is the most recent phone call

dh - hi honey, I'm still in the pub

me - oohhkaay

dh - They've given us the day off tomorrow so don't worry, If i can't service you tonight i'll sort you out first thing inthe morning ok?

me - err, yes honey

dh - ok, see you later

Loujalou · 26/02/2010 08:22

The romance Lia. At least it gives you a chance to buy some batteries - not sure what I would do if my batteries run out.....

stuffedmk · 26/02/2010 10:27

....ALWAYS keep spare batteries!!!!!!!

DH is still in a huff
He had day off yesterday and wanted to spend the afternoon SWNIW (shagging with no intent whatsoever lol) I would expand, but I think the fact that I said no because I had upset stomach will clue you in
Anyway, he's all pissed off now and I am going to have to apologise in order to get any SWI at the right time this month.
Oh, and I know I am only on cycle 5, but if you count the 3 years of allowing totally unreliable(supposedly) methods of contraception (withdrawel ) and trying to create hoping for an accident, it has been a loooong time!!

SilverBoots · 26/02/2010 10:48

Hi!

Iced DH starts the day with a half hour HOT shower (when he gets out can feel the heat coming off him from the other side of the room) he finishes his day with a large glass or 3 of red.

But, he obviously didn't manage to kill ALL his sperm this month . I will quietly remove him from the wall of shame ...

lucybarnes · 26/02/2010 11:44

Message withdrawn

TeaFan · 26/02/2010 18:28

Lol lia at your romantic DH, his commitment to the cause is admirable

Am slightly in awe of you ladies and your sex toys, I actually hate them but am quite keen to spice things up, we had kind of let that side of things slide before we TTC and i'm hoping the book I ordered will give us some new ideas. Would like it to be SWI and SFF at the same time, am I expecting too much?

My zestica arrived today and comes in scary looking single application containers that have a spout Not sure how I thought I was going to get it up there I know, I know, it pales in comparison to actually being preggo and giving birth, i'm in denial about that bit for now

Unbuffy · 26/02/2010 18:42

Toys, bah humbug. Since having dd Certain Parts of me don't seem to, um, respond any more. Even though she was a section!! Or are tooooo sensitive and just hurt. I take the 'lie back and think of David Tennant' route...

Unbuffy · 26/02/2010 18:44

lol at fainting btw! Could be tricky if you're unconscious... or ask for assistance while flat out...

Fairygodmother1 · 26/02/2010 18:49

Hi all,
I'm sure well be SWI tonight! He's a had a blinding first week at work, I've finished with AF. But it all depends whether we can move after just eating a mountain of Idian food!

Yep TTC totally takes the Romace away!!!

xxx

liahgen66 · 26/02/2010 20:02

I had to go out at 3am this morning so wasn't there when dh woke up "in the mood".

i got home at 8am and dh was waiting for me, (had alerted him I would be home to take kids to school)

Me - What time you going into work honey?

dh - well first we have shagathon, then shave and shower, so about half ten

Romance is not dead in my house.

Thing is, it was a proper quickie in the bathroom, then i was stressing about not being laid down for half hour.

Beach sounds nice, our ds (6) is dancing in a showcase on sunday so looking forward to that. Busy busy, as always, weekends don't really last long enough imo.

Have a good one everyone

tea what is zestica?

Unbuffy · 26/02/2010 20:27

dh currently working nights. Will be very grumpy when Action is expected of him - am expecting NO romance and in fact no conversation either. He seems to turn into a teenager when tired... Answer to anything: 'urgh', or possibly 'what happened in the rugby?' Am expecting very antisocial few days!

Unbuffy · 26/02/2010 20:27

Oh for a proper quickie in the bathroom...

Original poster
Icedlemonmuffin · 26/02/2010 22:47

OMG you are all being so romantic!! Shame on you all, have you forgotten cock has caused our sore bits!!

Well now on dec bus as ride tide of doom got me, so another bloody month of ttc for me,anyone got any vodka?

OP posts:
Loujalou · 27/02/2010 07:28

I have some raspberry flavoured vodka and some baileys. I tell you what is lovely kahlua and milk. Tastes like coffee milkshake, yummy. Could also be do-able in the morning - kinda.

Am lying in bed and TH just farted on my leg now that is romance!!

Loujalou · 27/02/2010 07:30

I was going to get all sentimental and say its nice having this bus as sometimes your "buddies" are on a different month bus / limo but this way we can all catch up. Enough of the sentiment and here is a

Fairygodmother1 · 27/02/2010 08:07

I think the Indian & the wine was too much - I fell asleep before he even got into bed! Maybe this afternoon...

Ariesgirl · 27/02/2010 09:07

Sorry, first time on here and strictly speaking don't have sore nether reasons as on 2ww. But Husband is away on course this weekend and just realised he forgot his vitamins and he's gone with some very boozy workmates. He did it on purposes I know he did, in fact they probably had a stripper last night while I stared intently at boobs for 5 minutes trying to decide whether veiny. SEXY.

Loujalou · 27/02/2010 09:20

Aries welcome to the mental thread. My nether regions have recovered now me thinks as am on 2ww too. TH gave up on his vits months ago and I don't have the willpower to fight him on that one..

TeaFan · 27/02/2010 09:20

Louja, wouldn't raspberry flavoured vodka in the same glass as Baileys curdle?

Fairygodmother, are you me? Falling asleep after Indian is our Saturday night tradition lol.

Lia zestica is like pre-seed but cheaper and there seems to be more evidence to suggest it helps the sperm swim

Fairygodmother1 · 27/02/2010 09:33

Tea where can you get zestica? Was a lovely night tho! I would have thought vodka & baileys curdles!

Loujalou · 27/02/2010 10:05

I wasn't mixing the baileys with vodka! I am sure there is something called a B52 that has kahlua, baileys and cointreau. Not quite vodka though.

TeaFan · 27/02/2010 15:52

I bought my zestica from amazon but i'm sure you can prob get it on ebay too.

B52's are a reminder of my teens, we used to set fire to them and then drink them as quick as we could through a straw before it melted! Oh to be back in the days when I had no mortgage could afford three shots in one glass and didn't mind throwing up in public get hangovers !

Unbuffy · 27/02/2010 16:48

Someone told me the other night about how lovely avocaat was when poured over Christmas pudding (bleurgh). Baileys and vodka sounds peachy by comparison...

Personally i like a nice dry Martini: Gin, Ice, Glass. Perhaps a little bit of lemon. It doesn't make such a sticky mess everywhere either.

Mind you, Benedictine is yummy

TeaFan · 27/02/2010 18:46

I like your style Unbuffy

I am working my way through a bottle of red and OH is in the kitchen rustling up an Indian What's everyone else up to tonight? At least I can relax in the knowledge that SWI is out of the question for another few days