Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Sponge-cd21 2 shags (and good ones!)
Umbongo cd 20 4 shags!!
Icedlemon-cd15 3 shags
Liahgen-cd9 3 shags
LadyBird -cd8 0 shags (due to red river)
Loujalou-cd6 0 shags (obviously!!!)
FairyG-cd5 0 shag

Snuck in a morning quickie today before the show. which was fab.

Cakes went down a storm,

Good for you muffin We're gonna have a date and pretent we don't know each other.

at lightbulb moment, (where is that lightbulb emoticon?)

Lia you are putting us all to shame, cupcakes and morning sex! Are you going on your date in a wig and no knicks?

Lia - how the hell do you do it, cakes and morning sex with 5 kids in the house. We haven't had morning sex in ooh about 3 years I think!!!!

How about putting your knicks in his pocket part way through the date!

will def be commando for the date. When me and dh met i was always commando as i wore skinny trousers and was carrying 3 stone less a bit less weight.

We manage morning sex cos we sleep in the loft conversion so plenty of warning, we can hear anyone coming up stairs, and today dh sent dd (3) down to look on the computer withthe help of older ds to see what they wanted to go see at cinema today.

tactics ladies.

May as well make themost of being awake early eh? I'll post a pic of cakes on profile when dd gets home, let me know what you think, I tried to copy the dance school logo.

Not sure about wig muffin do you think I should?

We've got a travel lodge just opened up, we were thinking of pretending we're strangers and going from the pub to hotel, without actually saying much.

I cannot believe i am telling you all this, it's only 7pm on a Sunday and I am stone cold sober.

so tell us what you would like to do with your dh's?

Lia that does sound fun. You can pretend that all the annoying habits your DH has don't exist. That might actually make it fun. Would be happy if TH initiated sex with me.

When I first met TH I used to go commando and not just cos I couldn't find any clean pants In fact I don't think I was wearing any the night we got engaged. See we all had our moments.

yey at you lou I remember the first time I met dh's bro, dh not known for his discretion, announced to bro and his gf that i was commando. Thanks honey

Lia a wig (total opposite to your own hair) and a mac, nothing else!!!!

muffin you'reon. Will make a date this very evening for some time in the week Ithink. I'll get dh to go straight to town after work maybe, to unwind etc.

Hey, good plan. Looking forward to this.

Pmsl. As long as we don't get photos of your night out. Your dh is funny lia.

On a more scary note. My dad said to my mum on the way to my graduation "I hope you are wearing knickers."...... worse bit was they divorced when I was 5! Apparently the women of her village are famed for lack of pants. Am still horrified at thought.

We still have morning sex but mute the monitor.

aagghhh

however we are parents and I have teens, dh has absolutely no discretion and often gets a slap is told to be quiet around them.

I found out a really nice thing today, my former sil's dd, (keep up, 1st H's niece) told me she is pregnant, only 6 wks but she and her chap have been trying for years. She's quite overweight and suffered mc a long time ago, but I am absolutely thrilled for her, she's 25. she was so born to be a mum, she used to look after my dd when she was 9!!

see I'm not the only one lou it's all coming out now eh?

Lia when you meet dh you have to say 'do you want to see my cupcakes?' lol

No morning sex here due to dd who gets up about half six every morning plus dh is usually up before that for work and I hate getting up early.

Lia - love your tactics and the idea of date with dh. Congrats to your ex-sil!

No morning sex in this house - mind that might be more connected to dh's bad back than ds invasion possibilities. I agree Iced, you would have to be up hugely early to have a go in the mornings - that would be seriously above the call of duty!

"Apparently the women of her village are famed for lack of pants." Lou

Umbungo this was nearly 11 years ago and am still in shock about it. Parents who'd have them.

Lia your organisational skills are impressive to get a morning shag when you have 5 kids already!

It's very quiet here, anyone heard if Lia has had her date yet, hope she didn't get arrested trying to pick up her own dh!

[tumbleweed emoticon]

Hope Lia didn't get Dazza jealous and he decked her dh!

I am surprised you lot can't hear me sobbing (pissed off with politics and the world emoticon).

I got shagged. Where are the newbies? I hoep we haven't scared them off. I quite liked the fresh blood (vampire emoticon!!).

I've put my back out, so no shagging tonight! Dh a bit put out but rebooked him for tommorow night.

Muffin I hope your back is better soon.

I can see all the tumbleweed growing.

LIA we need the goss on your date

My back is ok, just goes sometimes (sign of old age?)

At least you are off the mark with shag watch Lou! Lia need date night goss.

Can't believe everyone else has ran away

Well tell your back to come back then I would imagine it is very difficult to shag without it!

I am out of luck on shagwatch - have just got snot, dh looks like he doesn't want to catch it!

Did buy new undies tho, having undergone market research (asked dh which was his favourite - ever practical he told me whichever was the most comfortable to wear!)

But now in 2ww so will keep them in reserve till next months shagathon time I think

My backs like my mind where swi is concerned- it just wanders off to a more happy place

Dh likes thongs, but after 13 years one, one c section and a few dress sizes my arse doesn't like thongs so dh has to make do.

I hate it when snot gets in the way when I was full of a cold the other month I was still up for it but dh slept in the spare room!!!

Can some one pass me the turkey baster. Think I need to start shagging but can't be arsed. I just want to win a baby.

Here you go Lou (passes turkey baster) but can I have it back in about three weeks!

Was too tired last night for any kind of shagging and I know we should and three times in one month isn't good enough, but I just keep thinking wants the point it's not going to happen. I know I've got to be positive but it's really hard to keep hoping that this will be our month to be let down when rtd arrives.

Well Lou it looks like it's just me, you and the tumbleweed