Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Dh is booked in for tonight, after nearly three years ttfc these things can't be left to chance and booked him for Saturday night as well, so pre seed at the ready!!

I find if I meet someone new I say 'dd is an only child but not through choice', because otherwise I get 'why aren't you having another?', 'did you always plan just to have one?', ' oh she must be so lonely being an only'. FFS why can't these people just shut up!! And because I'm the eldest of eight and my sister had twins (wasn't trying didn't want but loves now) they always look at me like I'm either a poor pityful creature who can't reproduce any more or I'm an evil selfish cow for just having one. Also my moms side are very fertile so now I'm the freak who can't get upduffed!!!

Sorry rant over always get like this around laying egg time.

I tell different stories to people depending on mood. Sometimes I am trueful, sometimes violent, well I feel I should be. I would love to be a peer supporting bc counsellor but think I will wait til I'm diffed. Too depressing otherwise. I just want a babbbyyyyyyy.

Happy times in the qark today. Maybe we should dig a pit despair. The lovely Polly got diffed. So can we. [Dives head first into the pit].

I'm in the pit with you Lou

Men think about sex every 20 seconds or so according to people in magazines and I've just realised I think about getting pregnant about the same. It goes round and round in my head, am I? am I not? If not why? Sex? No sex? Dh not in the mood? I'm not in the mood! I'm mad dh not in the mood! When will I get pregnant? FFS I only need dh for a few seconds! Have we missed fertile window? My every waking moment is taken up with ttfc! Mad ,I'm mad ,we used to just be sex mad now I'm insane, like the lady who smells of wee and has ten cats!

See this whole post proves I'm mad

pmsl at ten cats and smells of wee.

We actually had a person that used to live in our village when we were kids, of course, my mum felt sorry for her and befriended her, the amounf=t of times we were woken up by her banging on our door after some shenanigans with her h and her mad father. and she used to have a trail of cats following her every bloody where.

Another thing that drives me mad - ewcm watch!! I'm forever thinking yes this is it , time to shag away and then realise it's a bit of wee that's escaped ( bloody pelvic floor)!!!

For Gods Sake!!!!! Looks like RTD is back - thought it was a bit on the light side & more like old blood than new so does that mean I'm back to CD1??????

What the hell is going on?????

pass the hooch cos I need to down it pretty quick! Or hit someone...Why is TTFC so F-ing difficult & totally unpredictable?????

oh fairy have mine, I'll nick lous later, you need it morethan me at mo.

Thanks Lia may just duff up the local swing park!

Sponge i only took clomid for 3 months as didn't see the point in taking it cos i know i already ovulate, plus it turned me into a moody bitch so dp told me to stop taking it, luckily we were offered iui next so looking forward to startind that.

I know what you mean about people telling you to just relax and it will happen, I have relaxed for nearly 2 years and it hasn't happened and why are there so many people that have a story about there mum's aunties best friends dog falling pregnant after 10 years of trying and once they had adopted? Those stories used to give me hope but now they just piss me off and i don't want to hear about them.
The amount of times i have been told to book a holiday and that will take my mind off ttfc and then i will just fall pg because i am thinking of my holiday, well i've had a few holidays and no i'm not pregnant.
I told my mum today that i'm almost positive i would fall pregnant if i met someone else, probably because when you first meet someone your in the honeymoon period and shag every day. But i don't want to just meet someone else and have their baby, i want a baby with my dp...
Sorry just thought i would join you girlies for rant

Fairy i would probably count today as cd1, why are our bodies like this, sometimes wish i was a man, they have it so easy.

Aarrgghhhhhhh that's for everyone feeling crap!

Dh phoned and said (he's at a meeting) that they are all going out for a meal after and I said I've already booked you!! I booked you first, your mine see you later. Bloody men.

So I'm back to CD1 I guess & 0 shags!!!!

Sorry I've been off for a couple of days (got caught nicking sparkly thongs and short skirts) You lot have been having fun!!

Umbongo, cd 16 Shags 2!

Yep, I've been told to relax, go on holiday, stop thinking about it and it will happen. I think that last one is my favourite as my thought processes are a lot like yours Iced Even whether we should put a wood burning stove in the freezer lounge set me off, as ds is old enough to behave, but a new one wouldn't know and may hurt him/herself. How irrational is it actually possible to get? When I can connect stoves to "I WANT ANOTHER BABY" and virtually anything else too.

The holiday thing definatly doesn't work if it is including a tent by the way!!

Oh bugger, that's me out then, we've booked to go to the Rewind festival in August, am kinda hoping i'll be diffed by then but if not, my friend will just have to come to bed later, (or get her own bloody tent)

Have told dh I have expectations tonight, so hopefully that'll be me off the starter block come morning.

Oh and the other annoying helpful people say "Focus on your beautiful DS and don't spend all your energies focused on TTFC". Helpful that. Sorry to those TTFC number 1 but it is hard trying for number 2 or 6 (in lia's case)!

Lia your poor lucky DH! I think you might need to chuck your friend out of the tent. Unless you are feeling extra kinky. Also, am surprised that you didn't start the POAS therapy group. Not surprised you posted on there though.

As I said on there, I am in control and can stop any time i like.

that's all I am saying.

Fairy could the sludgy stuff been a dare I say it "Implantation bleed"? Probably not but seems weird the witch is back. Anyways we are cycle buddies. So will pass you the Hooch.

[Zips mouth up - as have decided anything could be a symptom]

Shagwatch update!!!

Icedlemon-cd12 1 shag
FairyG-cd12 1 shag
Liahgen-cd6 0 shags (yet)(
Loujalou-cd3 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd18 2 shags (and good ones!)
LadyBird -cd5 0 shags (due to red river)
Umbongo cd 17 3 shags!!

Cor blimey I think that is equal to the last 2 months in our case!!!

No wonder I am not up duffed!!!!! I did say to dh during last months rtd induced breakdown that not enough sex could quite possibly be an issue!!!!!

I'm in the le-ad, I'm in the lea-d

Hey Lou you know that not just anything could be a symptom, but everything is a symptom!!

lia

Oh and forgot to say Lou when those annoying helpful people tell you to focus on your dc include your mum, it is reaally annoying, she told me a few months ago that the hole I was in about ttc was affecting my care of ds. That went down well.

Lia are you off the start yet?

Umbungo my mum was the one who told me the other day. Though she didn't say that it was affecting my care of DS. Think I might have walked out if she did. The other is a well meaning friend. Who conceived both of her DDs first time round....

Tis not fair am still on RTD so can't get off the mark - damn it.

I will catch you up when I start though. DH thinks we should shag more. He has chosen the right month for it.

Icedlemon-cd12 1 shag
FairyG-cd12 1 shag
Liahgen-cd6 1 shags woohoo
Loujalou-cd3 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd18 2 shags (and good ones!)
LadyBird -cd5 0 shags (due to red river)
Umbongo cd 17 3 shags!!

Sex is definately the way to go if we want to get upduffed i think

Need a light bulb emoticon. That would be a good one.

Can I join purlease?

Am on cycle 5 but have funny cycles (not all that amusing I have to say!) and so not doing the months thing ttc no 2.

I am just about driving myself and everyone else round the bend and reading this thread has made me feel less like a lunatic than I was doing!!

Am on cd2 0 shags. Am hoping the £30 I spent on vitamins, £36 pounds on yoga classes and £35 on reflexololgy yesterday will mean that we win a babeeee this month. It does work like that doesn't it - the more money you spend on TTC = more chance of getting PG?

Icedlemon-cd9 2 shags
FairyG-cd9 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)
Sponge-cd18 2 shags (good ones)
Ladybird-cd 5 0 shags
UmBongo-Cd18 3 shags
Orchid-cd 2 0 shags

Welcome Orchid make yourself comfy, well as comfy as you can be in glittery thong!

UmBongo I'm catching up!

Sorry UmBongo put you an extra cycle day on will fix later busy at the mo in aldi!!!