Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Ooh bleach, can I have some too - to do my hair and the palms of my hands as got too much fake tan on them and they have gone brown orange. Colour got to last till Mon this weekend as time for extra day down the park. Must buy more wkd, hope its on offer down at the spar

Welcome to the nuthouse park Sponge

Not in 2ww yet, just coming up to ov. week, so hopefully will actually get some sex this week.

Hello biatches! Lovin the streaks. I've never been blonde ever, dark brown naturally usually do a bit of red and have been black by accident! Scared I would go green. (I mean my hair not actually me)

Lou I think Tea was having a break I can't remember why. Wish she would come back I think she would love the park and our outfits.

UmBongo where have you been! thought you had run away with Terry to Blackpool . I'm also entering sex week, not sure how much sex will actually happen, but I suppose to win babee bingo you've got to give it a go. Dabbers at the ready!

Laters!!!

Nearly Fell in pit of despair as looks like witch is coming but went out for dinner and rosé instead. Later bitches

Looks like I am going to have to do some more shagging. Spotting has officially started. Boo hoo.

Afternoon biatches!
Maybe Tea needs to be Tea & kitkat???

CD8 for me & the first lot of white goods delivered this morning!!!!

Aww Lou Looks like a few weeks till any of us join Polly. We need to hang out at the park some more!

Was going to Blackpool, when Terry told me on the bus he was going back to Shaz and I would be on my own, so I thought I would come back to Dazza.

Lou, Good idea to keep a tight hold of the bottle of rose just in case you fall over the edge into the pit, that way you can take it in with you! Sorry rtd got you

Newsflash we have had sff/swi twice already this month and I am only on day 13. [also newsflash, I had to check the calender to find out what day I was on!]

oh bollox lou i was hopeful for you this month.

We can wallow for a day or 2 together then it's onwards and upwards, ok? so drink up girl.

At least we seem to be going through this in twos!!!! We've gotta make it soon...[hopeful looking smilie!]

Still not officially on doom time but time but tis approaching fast. Like the phrase doom time. Like jack daniels and coke too. DS was well behaved in pub too. Would have been berated on some of these boards drinking and feeding my son subway for his dinner as there was nowhere open. Dh didn't drink though.

Hard to type on phone. Biatches

well my dc's (including the nearly 3 yr old) had lemonade, crisps, peanuts, then burger king for dinner. We'd been to a posh christening and there was nothing that children would eat so had to eat on services on way home. No froot shoots though

Maybe it won't arrive lou >

Wassup Biatches!!

Got my glittery thong on, that you can see cos my jeans are low, muffin top hanging out and my WKD is nestled in my clevage! Bangin!!

(I am so chav it hurts)

Lou total crap about RTD here's a big bottle of White lightning, don't worry about paying slipped it out of Spar when they weren't looking (up my skirt).

Fairy we are cycle buddies so tonight I'm loading up with pre seed (weird name feels wrong typing it) and going to make sure this month we do it more than twice ( trying out this optimistic lark).

Umbongo sorry about Terry but you should never trust a bloke who wears White socks and black trainees!

Iced I might have a drunken snuggle as you is flashing some boob. White lightening it is. Have fun shagging. I get a week break now.

Am starting TH on some vits before next wank test in a month.

Was talking to someone who is about to pop. Was feeling jealous but she did tell me first one took two years ttfc. So maybe just maybe its not just us here ttfc.

My dh takes vit c and zinc and vit e. I take folic acid, vit c and zinc, vit e , vit b complex and co enzyme q 10. Not up the duff yet but pmt seems more under control and get less spots!

Well had a bath and shaved legs so........ Tune in tommorow for shag watch update. Who will get the most shags in this month or who just puts their feet up and has a cup of tea and a muffin (yum).

lemon have you got the same prescription list as me? You're taking all the same. Have laspsed recently, that's not gonna get me upduffed is it?

Enjoy your white lightening ladies,

Oh and if that was a gauntlet you threw down there miss muffin I'll accept your challenge of shagging,

Lia you talked about q 10 on another thread so I ran out and got some!

As for SW (shag watch) I'm still up on mn so maybe maybe not. I'm aiming for 4-6 shags this month who's going to better that.

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags

Ok shall we do a list like theys do on the other thread but this one for SW. Our other halves are going to hate us. I will start from scratch as although the RTOD hasn't started its imminent.

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
Loujalou CD? 0 shags

I think a trip to Ann Summers is in order if we don't want to get humiliated and lose. Well I managed 5 shags last month. So was impressed - 2 were SFF in that total.

PS if you had spotting but no witch would you test? I have this every month, the spotting. But one of my friends who won a babyyyyyeeee told me that she had normal spotting but no witch when she got duffed?

I think I put that question to Lia as I think I know the answer!

See witch has now made an appearance! Knew she would at the first thought of testing.

Bugger, was just about to answer this question too.

SO
Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD? 0 shags

I have an outfit sat inmy drawer just waiting for it's first outing.

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

Icedlemon-cd 8 0 shags
FairyG - CD8 1 shag!
Liahgen cd4 shags - 0 (yet)
Loujalou CD1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

Got my blue push up bra under my white low cut top with matching glittery thong with short white skirt!

Hoping to up shags to 2!

Icedlemon-cd9 1 shag
FairyG-cd81shag Liahgen-cd40 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd10 shags (obviously!!!)

FairyG proper chav name! Feelin it! I like your outfit but I'm finding glitter every where from this bloody thong!!(my thong not yours because that would be odd to be sharing a thong but maybe that's what they do in chav land? I suppose they shares blokes so why not a thong)

Lou bum bum bum to RTD but at least now you can star in Shag Watch!! It's a bit like crime watch but without the crime.

Lia if you want to be in our girl gang you have to tell us about your outfit !!

Sorry about all the bold bits not sure what I did, think I'm in shag shock! Only did it twice last month, hopefully this month my ladybits won't know what hit them.

U sure it aint the body glitter that you bathed in before you went out? I found some Charlie perfume on special offer so bought it in bulk. Makes a change from the vanilla body spray.

You sure that some of this shagging in the park aint a crime.

Oops I'm on CD9 (already)

Icedlemon-cd9 1 shag
FairyG-cd9 1 shag
Liahgen-cd4 0 shags (yet)
Loujalou-cd1 0 shags (obviously!!!)

It's only a crime if you get caught! Can you imagine CCTV appearing on crime watch of some hussey in a glittery thong shagging Dazza in the park.

I used to wear Charlie might pop to boots and relieve my youth.What about White musk (think that's what it was called) from body shop. OMG feel so old I'm going to bath in White lightning to get me in the mood for shagathon fortnight.