Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

I don't think Fairy or Umbungo has thermals on just a short mini-skirt with no knickers. For easy access just in case one of their chavy lovers come along.

Whatever happened to Hooch? I suppose you wouldn't get blue sick with that. That was my choice of tipple in my teenage underage drinking years.

Oh god Lou I loved hooch and 20/20 plus the smell of Africa lynx and I'm 15 18 again!!

Are Fairy and Umbonged still in the park, maybe their White stilletos got stuck in the mud or their lady bits got frostbite!

Lou that was the first thing i ever got drunk on at 15 - plied by an 18 year old barman on a caravan site! lol.

Iced Ohh 20/20!!! Nope no blue sick with Hooch - it was flurenecnt yellow sick instead!

Yeah no thermals - mini jean skirt, dirty pink vest top & hoodie. Used a lighter for warmth until Dazza (how's that for a chav name) kept me warm! Lets hope his delivery of white goods worked!

getting my nips pierced when giro comes through.

lol

Lol Fairy only one delivery of white goods?! How are your knees after last night? Bit sore and muddy? Did Dazza deliver the White goods on the roundabout ( that would make you totally chavtastic). Will you have enough for both nips with your giro ?

Umbongo have you got your tat yet?

Lou I feel really old thinking about hooch (drank through a straw) and 20/20 which I think was really drain cleaner because it burnt the back off your throat. Plus it brings back scary memories of knee high pantent black lace up boots, oh god the shame.

If you don't mind me ask Iced, how old are you? Sounds like we had the same teenage years!

My knees have friction burns so I hope it's worth it - I'm vegging out in my velour trackies tonight. The roundabout was a good spin, as was the swings!!!

Ow my belly hurts! Belly button pierced and tat of rose and thorns drawn round belly button - classy - especially as Dazza kept me warm too last night, so when I have a big fat preggy belly both tat and piercing will look really good!

(yep remember hooch too! and Taboo and lemonade - classy chick me! Not forgetting good old diamond white cider (I think thats what it was called, can't remember really, drank too much of it!))

Blastaway Diamond White and Castaway. That was foul but drunk it to get pissed cheap. Classy.

Fairy I'm 32 not far off 33. I spent most of my teenage years at 21s (classy manchester establisment) and fondly remember fun times with Blastaway! Well I think I remember bits, comes and goes in scary flashbacks.

Umbongo Dazza sounds familiar, did he have his trackie bottoms tucked into his socks and White trainees and a big gold chain?
And sorry for calling you umbonged before ,think I've got RSI typing on I pod thingy.

Morning. I think this baybee does not want to be born at christmas

Had a temp drop this morning, lowest of the triphasic - in fact I think it back in the biphasic realm ifkwim.

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b93a5

Thought I'd POAS to stop myself worrying, hoping for a big fat line but have the palest crappest ever.

I am panicking like an a menkul. This is all my fault for being so smug about SIL. That, and helping Jane drag a boat up the slipway yesterday.

I've still got the progesterone pessaries in my drawer, do you think it will do any good to start using them? I guess if the pregnancy hormone is dropping then progesterone won't do much anyway. Oh fuck I don't know what to do. I am all shaky.

Well the line is still there Polly, Good luck and don't wear yourself out panicking - Easy to say I know.

As for me, I am on day 33-34 ish I think, no rtd yet and daren't even poas cos I KNOW it will be a bfn as only swi once. Just want to be somewhere in the middle of next week. Meet you there Polly and then we won't have to do all the minutes in between. Cup of tea and a to you.

Polly sorry that your feeling so crap but fingers crossed and try and stay positive ( easier said than done I know) .

Pol I don't want to read and run. I have studied the FF charts in the past / read many a thread on this. Temps can go up and down during pregnancy. Also as long as you have still got a line its a good thing. Maybe its worth going to the doctors for a blood test.

Got all my fingers and toes crossed its just a blip.

Iced I'm almost 30 so yeah we did have the same teenage years. What about Two Dogs alcoholic lemonade??? Oh & snakebites!

Pol keep positive hon. Got all my fingers crossed. Can't comment on temp as I don't do it!

xx

Morning fellow bus whores! I am feeling like a major twat for panicking so much yesterday. I have done temp (for the last time!) and it is the highest it's ever been. So I will now step away from the thermometer and the piss sticks and let nature take it's course.

Right, come on you lot - I need a duff buddy!

Pollypocket if I hear that you go near a thermometer or piss stick again you will be in detention and made to drink Hooch and snakebite (all with the booze taken out) until you are sorry! That or you will have lines (did I mention my mum was a teacher).

You will all be impressed managed to SWI (including foreplay) in 10 mins last night as was in a rush to get out the house and am all fertile. Might even get one in today.

How long does it take for the wank results to come back? TH had the last wank 10 days ago and we are still waiting. We need to book an appointment with the doc to get referred to fertility clinic so they can do what ever it is they do.

Met someone who had IVF and paid £16k for the privilege of her baby. She could afford it though!

What a relief Polly and we all would have reacted the same, just as you cannot have tmi on these threads you can't have too much over reacting either!

Woo hoo to an Xmas baby!

Hehe Lou, will you sit me on the naughty step too?!

Well done on the 10min SWI - 10 mins is about my limit tbh. I really really hope this is your month Lou. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

Fanks Ice I promise to reign in the menkullness now. Honest!

My mum calls it the "unacceptable behaviour" step as she is not keen on the N word! I am not keen on it either but it gets called the naughty step anyway.

I sometimes put myself on the step so I get five minutes peace lol

I am glad to see that you are stepping away from the thermometer etc Polly I hope that you have a joyfully uneventful 9 months!

Sorry that I can't join you with a christmas baby as rtd arrived this morning. It was also ds's first morning at pre-school and as I am a dinosaur stay at home mum, who has only left him with family, I found that just a bit tricky So that and the rtd arrival (late) meant that I had a rather soggy morning!

Better now. Onwards and Upwards.

Wank results should be back Lou, dh was told to book an appt after a week to get his results. (but didn't, but then you know all that!!!!)

Lou wank tests should be back within 5 days I think! DH's are back as far as cons stand-in sec told me yesterday!

Pol you don't ahve to POAS for a long while (I hope)

Umbongo sorry to hear about RTD!

I'm on day 23 & had loads of EWCM! Does this mean I'm ovulating late???

Don't know about the ewcm Fairy, go jump your husband anyway!

I am off for a hot bath with hot toddy as dearest darlingest hubby turned the heating off over the weekend last week when it was a bit warmer and now it is chuffing chilly in this house. (well not too , but it is the only smiley that is blue with cold!!!!!)

Fairy just keeping shagging that is unless you are too sore to do so.

Anyways TH phoned to get his results and they said they were inconclusive. WTF! He has to make an appointment to drop them off and do the two tests again. The next appointment is not til June and he can't have sex two days before. We weren't told that before. Has anyone else had this??

Back to ages. I am 31 not 32 for a few more months though.

I'm p**sed off at DH as he'd rather play his computer games than shag me!!!!! No EWCM today so did we miss it????

Inconclusive? Does that mean he's normal? DH & I weren't allowed to shag 3-4 days before.

xx

Fairy my dh is exactly the same and it drives me mad, I just want to punch him really hard! I only want him for a few minutes and then he can go and do what he wants. His job (providing White goods) last a few minutes is painless and doesn't stretch his private parts or leave him with a scar ! I told him leave it in a cup in the fridge if it's to hard to get in bed with me!