Are you (a) tired of ttc (b) have sore ladybits from SWIing ! If this sounds like you then hop aboard.

[Icedlemonmuffin]

Hi have made a new batch of cock tail muffins for those of us who have been trying for along time and

(a) are struggling to get excited by the sight of a cockadoodle running towards every other day of our fertile days !!

(b)have sore ladybits from all the SWIing we have been doing the past few months

and

(c) who just want to moan,groan and bitch how boring it can all get!

All funny sperm killing stories welcome I need a laugh and to know I'm not the only one going insane ttc

So hop aboard and you to can be a bus whore like me !!!!!!!!

Inconclusive means sample was not good enough quality to test. Could be it was not put in incubator soon enough or we shagged too soon before. We are where are.

Iced you need a turkey baster even my DH delivers the goods. Sometimes grudgingly. Still doesn't help make a baby.

Lou he just seems to want sex at the wrong time either when rtd has arrived or just when rtd is due to arrive or he's got too much work to do so I'm asleep by the time he gets to bed. It's more of a timing issue so maybe the turkey baster is the way to go

When does your oh have to wip (wank in pot) again?

DH is usually good at his job but I felt that last night he let me down!

Thats why I made DH do it in hosp toilet so that it was as fresh as they could get it !

I think it's hard for them to perform on demand especially if I've got my book in my hand and dh nearly falls off the bed because he's got pre seed on his hand (it is very very slippy).

Have they got a special wank toilet! Can you imagine the walls if someone hasn't got a very good aim

"Hard" to "perform" - sniggers at childish penis jokes!

Maybe the wank toilet has walls that dissolve the "white goods" so that it is not too gross.

Lou love childish penis jokes I was sniggering when I wrote it, dh is always telling me to grow up!

I hope Fairy got some action last night.

I will never touch a wall in a hospital toilet ever again, on second thoughts I will make sure I have wipes at all times in my bag just in case!

I got some action yesterday morning but low & behold - looks like RTD is about to arrive EARLY!!!! What is going on???? EWCM beginning of the week then RTD at the end!!!!

Whats people's plans for the weekend?

xxx

Hi Fairy glad you got some action but boo to rtd making an early arrival.

Well work tommorow and if it stays warm we will be busy in the garden on Sunday and we have to try and put our new tent up! Hopefully we will be able to do it without any shouting or swearing.

What are your plans?

Other than school work (I'm a teacher so not 'homework' lol), the garden & possibly visiting a friend who's just popped a sprog (not that I'm a sucker for punishment), nothing much. Hoping the weather holds out!

Good luck with the baby visit , I end up making my lip bleed from biting it to stop myself from crying or screaming out 'it's so not fair I want a baby'.

Aarrrrrggggghhhhh Fairy what is going on rtd got me too! Not fair

See!!!! It's crazy aint it! One second I think I'm ovulating & the next I'm spotting (not implant spotting though & starting to cramp).

Who's next to joint us in the boat floating on the RTD????

God Fairy, ttfc is soooo frustrating and it's really hard to stay positive when it feels like I'm doing my best to do everything right but my body just keeps doing it's best to stop me getting pregnant!

Next month I'm going to the park to find Dazza

Going to bed to beat the crap out of my pillow, for some reason I'm really angry this month as well as being peed off and sad.

Think I might be a bit pished still. Well don't think I am but had some wine last night and a curry.

Came home and tried to jump on TH but he wasn't having any of it and complained about my curry breath. How dare he.

It probably didn't help that I did sob as my friend is preggers again and don't think she was trying that long. Might have put the man off. Oh well didn't sob as much as I used to when finding out a friend was pregnant so that is progress.

Iced and Fairy I am going to be joining you in the park next month if I don't win a baby this month!

Iced its crap when the witch comes. Pisses me off no end. Am on day 17 or something now. Not really sure so only a week before spotting is due. Sending you a big hug.

Thanks for the hug Lou really needed it , I'm trying to be strong but all this ttfc is starting to get to me.

Sorry about dh maybe next time pop a mint in or do spoons ! Lol

Sorry you got rtd Iced and Fairy Hug from me too.

I am on day 5, am relieved to hear that others are having problems with the lack of enthusiasm of dh's. I did manage to say something about lack of sex the other night as dh came in and interrupted my day 1 howling session. (Why are they never there when you want them, but sometimes they won't go away and let you howl in peace!!!) I decided that as I was already in a state, I may as well go for broke and and say some of the things I had been putting off!! Cleared the air I think.

On the upside, the consultant appt has just been moved forward from 20 something of June to 16th May!! Hooray!

Iced where is Lou supposed to pop the mint?

I kinda feel bad for having a go at DH when RTD was headed my way. Also a bit pissed on margaritas!!!!

Hope people enjoyed the saturday sunshine today. There was a good side to that volcano - no april showers so far!

UmBongo I suppose popping in a mint down below could give your ladybits a nice minty fresh flavour, but if it was the mint with a hole it mint give dh a shock

I always have a massive howling fit when rtd arrives and I just want to be on my own and cry in peace or punch the crap out of my pillow! But at least you cleared the air with your dh.

Fairy please forgive me for asking but what does a margarita taste like?

Iced moreish! lol. It's a bit sweet & sour cos of the lime. If it's made properly then you shouldn't taste the tequila so much! I love it!

Decided to to join a bus this month. Gonna stay on here & try to get sore lady bits this months as we have done in the past!

This morning I'm traditionally watching the London Marathon. Miss seeing it live since I moved!

Fairy I'm not bothering with the bus this month, it just seems to make me more stressed! I prefer the more light hearted approach where it seems like we are all here just having a laugh and a chat and maybe , just maybe trying to get up the duff!

Going to get a tat that looks like this I think it looks more like a smiley being strangled than confused.

Bring on the sore ladybits!

Hello all. Sorry you got droided Fairy and Iced.

How is everyone on this fine sunny morning? I have most amused catching up with you lot, I do like to snigger at childish penis jokes.

Anyone know how Lia is?

Well, all is fine here. I've mostly been in de nile for the last week, and today I am so tired I can barely stand up. I'd hoped all that shiz wouldn't start just yet... I'm only 5 wks after all. Oh well. At least Boo still has afternoon naps, so I will have to make the most of them.

So who is up for SWI next?

Polly you can see we are still the same mature lot that we were when you were here. I can't form proper sentences today.... Ahhhh!!

I am not sure about Lia she seems to have gone awol. Might e-mail her as haven't seen her on any threads. Not that I have been stalking her or anything......

I think we need to invent a spray so that when you have eaten stinky food you can neutralise the effect as apparently every pore of me stank. Nice words from TH.

Lou say hi to Lia from me if you manage to get hold of her...TH sounds like TG - honest to the point of brutal!

hiya Ladies,

Am touched, (genuinely) that you've thought about me. I ahve been looking around but have tried so hard to not obsess this month, and tbh I was completely gutted last month as had almost managed to convince myself was upduffed. seemed a big thing too, being out of the 2010 loop, Haven't joined a bus or anything.

Have tried the sex for fun thing this month, was aware of timing to a degree but tbh not really sure if I ov this month so time will tell I guess.

so I noticed yesterday lou, you are due on weekend? and I'm due on Sunday, am desperately trying not to think about it at all, but already am doing just that. No money so can't buy decent test so will just have to hold out. aggghh. I'll cave by Friday I know I will.

Hope everyone is keeping well, haven't caught up with thread but how are we doing for bfps?

Off to pay dance fees now, Have good week everyone.

Hello I was wondering if I could join? I'm not really sure where I fit in on all the TTC threads - I'm on my 6th month of Clomid and been TTC for two years. I did get pregnant the end of last year but had a missed miscarriage discovered at my 12 week scan. Definitely sick of TTC and having the whole "duty shag". Can I stay? I already have a bottle of margaritas ready for my next Red Tide of Doom, but I'm willing to share...