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Original poster

The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

998 replies

ChoChoSan · 02/02/2010 16:14

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

OP posts:
SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:37

I wouldn't be having a teenage son in the room either, let alone telling him about the droplets of breastmilk I'd been experiencing.

They'll prob have their own show soon.....

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:41

.....and the young girl with her mute of a fella! He's about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.

I am seriously hoping that the woman who's husband is being a div, is watching it back now is thinking "I've married a cock!".

How uncomfortable does the son look?! Leave the room then!!!!

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:42

OMG - he's a Copper!!!!! Heaven help us all!!

Muser · 09/02/2010 21:47

Oh I like the young couple. I think he's just absolutely petrified.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 21:47

Ha! Am glad you're all thinking what I'm thinking - that Steve is a colossal arsehole and thoughtless cunt! I bet AIBU will have a few choice threads about him going soon enough (if not already!). I still can't believe he thought it would be a hilarious jape to pretend or try to lock her in the loo whilst she's contracting away in agony!

Perhaps they hope it will put him off getting a girl pregnant?!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Steve is wrist-deep in his wife cos the midwife needs him to help and the son is looking on with mild interest, like he's watching his parents do a jigsaw! Would he not fuck off out of there whilst his Mum's foof is a-gogo?

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:50

Muser Fair comment!!

Scorp I am a bit behind as watching it on Sky+! I peed my pants reading you post about Steve being wrist-deep!!!

It seems that the midwives seem to be a bit bloody absent without leave throughout her birthing experience?!

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 21:51

I meant, perhaps they think it'll put THE SON off getting a girl preg!

The son is now staring up her tunnel of love watching the baby come out! Wrongness.

The young couple are sweet - she's clearly got a wise head on her shoulders and I think he's just petrified, confused and overwhelmed. If we were on such a documentary, TYF would make him look like SteveTheCunt, so quiet and withdrawn would he look (Yoda grammar time). Feel so sorry for them that their son has that bowels outside his body thang. A lot to deal with, at any age.

rollerbaby · 09/02/2010 21:51

Have exchanged puppy for laptop.

Steve is the biggest cunt I have ever seen on TV. Who on Gods earth takes the piss out of a labouring woman? And on TV? What a frigging show off. He's not so chatty at the moment funnily enough now his wife is in trouble.

Frankly I think taking your 18 old son into a maternity ward is a genius move. No teenage preggys for him methinks.

We are watching this programme gobsmacked. I hope I'm updiffed this month, I'm not sure husband is game after this.

rollerbaby · 09/02/2010 21:53

He is apparently suing me for defamation. My husband, not Steve.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 21:54

Am now filled with bile at advert for 'Leaving home at 8' - why have fucking kids only to send them away? Some cunts don't know how lucky they are.

Do you think that lad is there just to get on telly? Steve ain't so cocky now she's in distress. Bit worried now.

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:55

Comedy genius, he so is not. Bet all her mates are probably feeling somewhat sorry for her with that dickweed of a husband.

I guess watching your mother give birth is the best contraception going.

Muser · 09/02/2010 21:55

Oh god, this is terrifying me.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 21:57

Hehe, x-post ahoy, Moomoo! Great minds think alike Am glad they're both okay now. Hope I didn't disturb my neighbours with all my shouting at Steve. Wassock of the year.

TYF didn't fancy watching it. I think he is under the illusion that I shall frown, say 'pardon me', and reach down to find a clean baby in an organic cotton babygro when the time comes.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 21:59

(Not really - he knows I will be a screeching, bellowing, aggressive hell-bitch. As per usual)

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 22:01

I have watched this instead of Survivors, as husband is recording that shiz Caprica and so be the wonderful wife that I am, I have sacrifice my Survivors. I shall of course watch it on the Iplayer later.

I daren't let the husband see this, as I think he'll go right off the labour side of things and we'll be on the first flight to China to adopt.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 22:02

I've recorded 'Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance' to watch after Charlie Brooker's Newswipe: nothing cheers me up like filling my judgeypants as far as they can go Judging parenting is all the more sweeter when you have no real idea of what it involves

Oh...

Medee · 09/02/2010 22:04

I'm taping that programme.

Hurrah for sal and boo hiss for Pol

rollerbaby · 09/02/2010 22:07

Scorps extreme parenting was brill - you must watch it. Following the viewing of said programme, I lectured husbo on the dangers of controlling parenting and video games. I think he is quite scared of giving me access to the remote control at the moment.

HawaiianCuntShine · 09/02/2010 22:53
Scorpette · 09/02/2010 23:04

So jealous of people being able to watch Caprica - me and TYF are huge BSG nerds but only have Freeview.

rollerbaby · 10/02/2010 07:05

Golly what great British telly last night. I have been summoned into work for an unearthly 0815 meeting. My boss sent the text at midnight. WTF???!!! No more lounging around at home for me this week.

Polly try not to let this woman represent the all the people that work in fertility care. She quite obviously was having an off day and should be shot. Keep on trucking, I'm sure that if you email/call and ask for the Clomid today you will get it. Good advice from before - stash those prescriptions, you never know when it might come in handy.

laurielou · 10/02/2010 08:05

Oh I know I said I'd watch the CH4 programme for you all, but thank God some of you watched it. What useless twats BOTH the fellas were. Fair comment, the young un was prolly terrified, but I thought he needed to be a man, put his terror to one side & help his lovely wife / girlf.

The other fella was just a twat. Going to lock wifey in the loo between contractions? I did think it was wrong from Wrongsville to have the son there, but thought he was quite sweet at times, asking his mum if she wanted to squeeze his hand while the usless twunt of a husband wandered the corridors to eat his yoghurt

Have a mentioned, I think he was a cunt .

However..............the whole programme has made me wobble. Serious shit wobble. I'm honestly not sure that I can do it. The poor boyf came home all elated from footie - Cardiff City won - to my rantings of how useless men are & that I've changed my mind.

So question of the day - have I really changed my mind? Should I watch next week? Will that seal the deal & have me moving quicker than Usain (sp?) Bolt towards my contraceptive pill? Is ignorance bliss?

Am I just not mum material? In which case a serious talk with the boyf is in order.

Hells teeth!

salander · 10/02/2010 08:23

Morning Beshes

Just wanted to add my tuppenceworth and say i agree, what a total cunt that steve bloke was, had that been my 'birth partner' i would have kneed him in the bollocks and chucked him head first in the birthing pool. God it wound me up!

Catching up on many pages so here goes....
scorpio many hugs and gin for your wobble, but def sounds like a good idea for the counselling
polly more hugs to you, hope you are ok today, see its' def not just you, everyone agrees she was a hellbitch
ead hope your meeting went ok hen
laurie i would watch next week and see how you feel - wouldn't change whole life plan based on some very odd folk in a tv docco, but i know whatcha mean.

and thanks thanks thanks all for being so lovely

Original poster
ChoChoSan · 10/02/2010 08:55

Hi Laurie ha ha....the desire not to force an 8lb person out through your cervix is NOT and indication of 'not being mum material'.

It is in fact, an indication that you might be possessed of a great deal of sense and rationality, so well done!

I thought it was quite sweet, that son being around, and I really liked the mum. I felt really sorry for the younger girl, and as the boyf pointed out...He looked fucking terrified! The boyf is the silent type too... under such conditions I expect he would be exactly the same, and if he did day much, it would probably be not the right thing. I prefer a bit of humour in a crisis...and I have a black sense of humour at the best of times.

So, update from me today....testing day is tomorrow, and I am on CD 29 today.

No symptoms anymore - sore baps stopped hurting on Monday (in both my diffs they have grown increasingly huge and sore as the time passed), and I can probably put increased cycle length down to progesterone (re-live delightful tales of progesterone in yeasterday's posts!), as I think I have had a 29 day cycle before with progesterone.

OP posts:
laurielou · 10/02/2010 09:01

Thanks sal & cho. Wow, I've never been "accused" of have sense & rationale before!!

I have calmed down a little. I know that every experience is different & that I'd have my own lovely boyf with me, not those 2 horrible men from last night.

cho my boyf is also a man of few words, but I know he'd say the right thing at the right time .

Sorry for being so me me me. scorps, poo how are you both feeling this morning? I really hope you're out of the Pit of Dispair, I want to wallow like a star fish in there today.

cho fingers crossed for you tomorrow. Please test early, & of course, tell us first

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