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The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

998 replies

ChoChoSan · 02/02/2010 16:14

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

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ChoChoSan · 09/02/2010 16:36

Hi Polls...oh what a bag! Some times you get fab nurses and some of them make you wonder if they should do sensitivity exams! I know you are having a vent, but just a couple of practical points (if you are interested, but I realise you are not necessarily soliciting advice).

...I would recommend that you go to the consultant anyway and talk to him...I have had differences of opinion with nurses and consultants over the last couple of years, and I sometimes get my way regardless of what they say.

If I understand you correctly, then what you want is Clomid when your herbs kick in, followed by IUI if necessary?

What I would do is email the nurse and tell her you want to start the Clomid, and get the precription (I never refuse a prescription...I have got a couple of them hanging around that I decided not to use, but might need later if I have another 'difference of opinion' ) and keep the precription or drugs til you want them...just call the nurses and tell them you have decided not to take them when the time comes. Email everyday from now asking for husband's SA results.

If you can get any money together at all for treatment, IUI is much cheaper than IVF. Also, so-called 'natural' IVF is loads cheaper than normal IVF, and might work for you, especially if you already are ovulating (but you could keep back a stash of Clomid anyway for more eggy-wegs). So don't get too disheartened thinking you would have to find 4 grand...hang in there sistah!

By the way - hope I am not teaching my grandmother to suck eggs - I don't know how much involvement you have had so far with IF clinics .

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ChoChoSan · 09/02/2010 16:39

Oh, and I second Scorps point 5), above...

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PollyPoo · 09/02/2010 16:42

Hey Cho, thanks for the advice. The nurse said that IUI at my age is not worth bothering with (wtf?!)

Anyways, TG is totally against any kind of IUI or IVF. I'd argue with him over it, but even if I got him to change his mind, we just don't have the money, so the Clomid is the only help we will get.

Really must get off my arse - the shopping has been sat on the kitchen table gently defrosting for the last hour, but I just can't stop swinging between crying and wanting to kill the bitch.

iggypiggy · 09/02/2010 16:55

poo what a fucking beyatch - surely she must realise how emotional this stuff is anyway - last thing you need is Queen Fuck of Bitchrovia (read that in the newspaper and I likes it) pissing even more on your delicate state.

Am properly fucked off on your behalf.

RunLyraRun · 09/02/2010 17:11

I'm so angry with Queen Fuck of Bitchrovia (bloody love that) that I can't even think what to type. Going to take the dog for a walk and think about it.

ChoChoSan · 09/02/2010 17:16

Well, I got diffed with iui at 37 and 5 months, and I am very much hoping to now at 38 and 2 months, so she can fuck right off

Don't mean to interfere in your relationship with TG, but for IUI, all he needs to do is spunk in a pot, and for you it's a couple of scans and one legs-akimbo...

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Scorpette · 09/02/2010 17:22

I'm so fucking pathetic overwrought that I just started crying in the middle of Tesco. I think there must be a special '20% off all shopping today if you bring in an adorable toddler' day today or summat and it all got too much for me (to my shame, the tipping point was seeing a box of kiddy plasters with cartoon monkeys on them!). A kindly old lady asked me if I was okay and I mumbled some lie about my Granddad dying (last one died in 97 - though I still cry about it, so that's only a half-lie). How do we all manage to keep on keeping on? It's fucking unbearable! I'm so angry and upset for Poosmell and so full of self-pity too. And PooPoo, if your DD was a fluke (top choice of word, Nurse BitchWhore! ), then what's to say you can't have another fluke, huh? Evil crone.

Am realising that I need counselling, as I am increasingly unable to cope with, well, just about anything, as I think the babyfails are also opening up a huge can of psychological worms about not being able to achieve any of my other goals through being ill since I was 21. Might be unconsciously focussing on this as the one thing I can achieve. But also, babyfail is a cunt. But I can't afford a private shrink and I'll probably have 3 kids all at school (yes please!) before I get an appointment with an NHS one, so am stuck. My Mum, as I've mentioned here before, is a retired counsellor, but I moan enough to her about it and other stuff as it is and if I revealed the extent of my menkul grief, it'd break her heart. As well as it not being appropriate to counsel family members, etc.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

ChoChoSan · 09/02/2010 17:30

Aww Scorps, you sound like you are in a bit of a well at the moment.

I know this might not be much solace, but if you start getting IF treatment on the NHS, many of the clinics have counsellors specifically to support people facing IF. I have not yet made use of them, but I think they are dedicated to IF folks and appointments can be made very easily.

Have you checked out your local counsellors' rates...often they offer sliding scales (though it can still be expensive).

Are you still doing your PhD? If so, perhaps you can use the uni's student counsellors?

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CUNextTuesday · 09/02/2010 17:31

Oh scorps

Are you PPing? you must be some days PO now?

PollyPoo · 09/02/2010 17:42

Oh Scorps lets go down to the pit of despair where we can cuddle our used sanitary protection and rock gently together in the corner until Russell Howard and bloke from Being Human can coax us out.

I have given myself the most almighty headache thinking about that bitch. I think by going on about how Iris might have been a fluke she was trying to bring TG down to earth with a crash (it worked) but she didn't really think through what that might do to me. Stoppid caaahhhh.

Had not thought of us paying for IUI - if I could get TG to agree to it. Hopefully the TCM and/or Clomid will work and we won't need that fight.

Hang on Cho, let me find my cunt-kicking boots and I will join you - her name is Gemma and she works at Dorchester County Hospital in the fertility clinic - she is easy to find, she is the mardy-faced bitch.

Ocarina · 09/02/2010 17:44

Polly I have no idea how people like that end up in that kind of job. Everyone else has far more useful advice than me so I'll leave them to it and send gin.

Scorps I think that's a tipping point to be proud of! Why is it always the stupidest things?

Met a friend's 2 week old today and managed to restrain myself from sitting there going "I want one". I also want a labour like said friend - she gave birth 12 mins after arriving in hospital!

RunLyraRun · 09/02/2010 17:57

Scorpetta, little chicken, what about asking GP to refer you for counselling? I know you said waiting list would take forever but worth a go in any case? Better to start waiting now than later, IYSWIM.

Poohead, I have walked the dog, and have concluded that:

a) Cho is right about everything. Get the Clomid out of that bitch's grasp so you can use it if and when you need it. Think about paying for IUI as a back up plan - after all it's not much more than a turkey baster, so not that assisted, if that's what TG is against.

b) Gemma was talking crap - how can she say Iris was a fluke WHEN SHE HASN'T EVEN HAD THE SPUNK RESULTS?? What leads her to beleive you are only ovulating twice a year? All this is pure speculation to the point of being unprofessional, particularly given the obviously sensitive context. I would complain, if you have the energy to do so (but don't worry if you can't be arsed, you have to pick your battles).

PollyPoo · 09/02/2010 18:00

I can't be arsed at the moment to complain but will make sure that I see the NICE nurse next time. I have however, complained to my lovely TCM lady, who happens to work in MrD's private and swanky (i.e. v expensive) clinic wot we can't afford. Apparently she knows him v well and so I'm hoping she will drop said nurse in the shit. The shit that I will add to when I can find the energy.

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 18:12

Thanks y'all. I do realise I'm being silly, as have 'only' been TTC for 8 months and apart from babyfails, don't have specific reasons to be freaking out yet, but I'm a thenthitive thoul and don't deal with upset well, which I try to cover up by trying to be funny (tears of a clown, etc.). Cho, PhD is deferred cos can't get any funding, and can't see me getting any thi year, either . I can't have Clomid or IVF due to medical reasons, so I have the panic of there being no back-ups available for me and TYF and so I dunno if they'd bother referring me to an IF department, if tests showed up any problems. And, if I'm being honest, I deal with things so badly that my reactions might make them think I'm not capable of dealing with treatment (still keep crying with worry over the fucking colposcopy, like the twat I am).

Weirdly, I am an oasis of calm and sense in a real crisis or when actually having medical treatment (have had to have some nasty shit done to me over the years) - I just work myself up into 'a state' by overthinking everything. Anxiety runs in my family.

But I know what would cheer me up - lacing up my cuntkickers and heading over to Dorchester Hospital en masse. Do I need to bring my own flaming torch, Poo? BURN THE WITCH!

Oh, and the last time I asked to see a counsellor on the NHS (long story), I had to wait over a year and the first thing she said was 'have you accepted Our Lord Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?' - I walked out - and then when I complained and told the doctor that I refused to see her, he told me that by refusing I'd taken myself out of the system (or words to that effect).

PS Cunty - yes, am 2Woofling. Refuse to mention it, as made fool of myself in the early days of the Palace by excitedly proclaiming every little symptom a sign Am now back to my usual pessimistic self, working on the basis that if I don't get my hopes up, the worst happening can't come as a surprise. Happyhappy joyjoy!

RunLyraRun · 09/02/2010 18:23

Scorps, if you couldn't have IVF and Clomid, I would have thought all the more reason to refer you to IF department for counselling and exploration of other options - there are more things in the world of AC than Clomid and IVF, and not all of them involve drugs.

ChoChoSan · 09/02/2010 18:40

scorps I don't see why you would be unable to have unmedicated iui, it would definitely be worth looking into at least.

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laurielou · 09/02/2010 19:38

Ladeez, what an utter crock of shit.

poo sweetheart, COMPLAIN. Seriously, even if every word she said was 100% true (I'm no expert but she sounded like Captain Pessimistic to me) then there are ways of delivering it. In that line of work she should be more sensitive to others. Oh, she's made me so fucking cross!

scorps I don't really know what to say. I wish you could stick a straw in a RL bottle of gin & gulp til the pain goes away.

I'm off to torture myself with that maternity programme on Ch4. Let me watch it for everyone, you lot tune into Come Dine With Me or something.

Oh, I've been too sensitive here for a proper BESH.

FUCK CUNT WANK BOLLOCKS!!

laurielou · 09/02/2010 19:39

Oh, for what its worth, the consultant I saw said about IUI, but that it was way down the line, as if I have all the time in the world. I'm 37 years 7 months old!

Scorpette · 09/02/2010 19:45

Thanks guys - but I haven't been diagnosed with anything other than being 37 and a neurotic fool yet Am having D21 (actually D20) bloods taken tomorrow so will be booking in to see Dr to ask about counselling.

What I'm really hoping is that I'm writing all of this boohoo but I'm actually diffed, unbeknownst to me Irony is my friend.

TYF has come home and I've had yet another wail and he's reassured me yet again. He truly has the patience of a saint. I told him that I was worried that I had used up all my luck on finding my soulmate - him When he says that we will get there, I believe him. For about an hour or so

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:19

Evening all,

First off, not sure eating a pizza whilst watching "One Born Every Minute" is the wisest of ideas.

Right - straight to the serious stuff:

Sal wicked awesome news! Whoop whoop. If you want to send me your now unnecessary gin, feel free!

Polly I am so ANGRY, what a stupid biatch of a biatch, lets slap the tart. I'd write a complaint. How bloody dare she! She is dealing with real people with real lives and real sodding feelings.

I have no news, oh except my monthly spot on my face has appeared. Next stop DROID CITY.

Muser · 09/02/2010 21:21

Big hugs for Pol and Scorps. It'll all be ok.

I am watching this C4 baby programme. Right now I mostly want to lamp the useless husband.

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:24

Ps: How much of knob is that knob Steve? Irritating arse. Knob Jockey.

Muser · 09/02/2010 21:24

He's a complete useless knob! And she's had FOUR children with him! You think at least she'd have got a different birth partner.

Muser · 09/02/2010 21:34

WHY IS HER SON THERE!!?

SilverSky · 09/02/2010 21:35

I am sorry but I'd chuck the tosser out of the room. Blatantly showing off for the cameras and basically making her the butt of all his jokes.

PILLOCK. PRICK. TIT.