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The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

998 replies

ChoChoSan · 02/02/2010 16:14

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

OP posts:
TwinkleToes76 · 10/02/2010 09:02

I really want to be a midwife! I think it's my calling in life. Not sure about the 3 year training or stitching up foofs though...

laurielou · 10/02/2010 09:11

twinkle you are clearly insane!

Medee · 10/02/2010 09:11

MrM was not convinced that he would be interested in the One Born Every Minute thing, but having heard your comments, I shall make him watch it with me, in the spirit of "what not to do" should we ever get to that position.

Eadwacer · 10/02/2010 09:14

Belatedly adding two pen'orth - um, I thought that Steve bloke was a scream. And the whole family really. I watched it with the OM and we thought they were adorable - that you'd have to love each other shedloads to be so easy round each other and that their homelife must be just really bumptious and funny. Maybe becuz I'm tairbly tairbly British and can't bear hand-stroking and loving murmurs and would always rather be joshed.

That young dad however I could quite cheerfully have set fire to, then pushed into a river to extinguish the flames, purely to have the pleasure of setting fire to him again. Jeebus - boy looked thick he must have to read a manual just to take a shit. The girl was amazing though.

Anyway - I wept and wept and wailed 'I want to be a midwife' and 'I want a baby' at five minute intervals.

Sal thanks duckie. It could've been alotlotlot worse. I was looked after by the big daddy.

Are polly and Scorps still in the pit? Cuz I'll lower meself down on a rope with Mitchell the sulky vampire under one arm and a stoneware jug of genuine 18th century gin, if need be....

ginhag · 10/02/2010 09:48

So am I the only person who has no interest in terrifying myself uneccessarily watching programes about other people giving birth?

I've just always thought,given the myriad of possible 'types' of birth,and the differences between people,in their relationships etc etc it would have no relevance for me,and would just worry me/wind me up about a whole bunch of stuff that I will never have to encounter...now I'm all for preparing myself and read quite a bit,asked people about experiences etc before I had the small one, but to me the telly experience is a) likely to scare the crap out of you (hairstrokes to poor lorry) and b) WON'T prepare you for anything...tbh I think knowing the info,birthplans blah blah all good,but in the end it'll happen like it happens.

I say this as someone who didn't have the birth I wanted at all....I did however have the birth that meant my kid lived which was obv the vital thing.

NONE of your partners will let you down,and you will ALL cope. I said so.

Also when ttc and pg everyone fixates on the birth. That is just one day. It's what happens afterwards that us actually scary.

Incidentally I watched 'last woman standing' with mr gin.was very good although obv only had 2 viewers so may not be on next week

ginhag · 10/02/2010 09:57

I did however,a long time before starting ttc,do the VoiceOver for a prog called 'special babies' about Bristol SCBU. Which was very emotional/scary/judgeypant baiting.

laurielou · 10/02/2010 10:10

Thanks gin . I think my boyf may love you as you have singlehandedly put me back on SWI track!!!

Of course every experience is different, of course we'll have our own fella's there, of course its scary. But you really put it into perspective by saying its just 1 day. 1 DAY! I'd been so focussed on the giving birth mallarkey I hadn't had time to worry about the bringing the baby / toddler / teenager / adult up!! Thanks for the distraction,

RunLyraRun · 10/02/2010 10:13

I watched it. Him Outdoors did not. Agree with all that has been said, i.e:

I sat there shouting "what a cunt" at Steve's behaviour (although his wife didn't seem to mind it).

Thought Lisa was lovely and her partner scared (but I personally would need more feedback and reassurance than he was providing).

It completely terrified me. There's absolutely no way I could do that . Went to bed telling HO that if we ever get updiffed, I want an elective C-section under GA. Really truly believe that if men had to do this, they would have found a way to make it less like medieval torture.

RunLyraRun · 10/02/2010 10:18

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm worried about every day after that too, but one day (or two) of torture is still torture. Waaah what am I doing

ginhag · 10/02/2010 10:28

lorry glad to be of service

fixating on birth really is what most people do. And I know it's hard to see it as 'minor' but in comparison to An Actual Human Totalling Depending on You it really is.

Having said that I had to have an em cs while still only in early labour,so didn't have full 'medieval torture' experience...however without wanting to fuel The Fear it was pretty horrible/extremely scary in other ways. I do strongly believe that I would feel the same if I'd had 'natural' labour...am not trying to kid anyone that I won't be scared (if there is a) next time,but really laydeez it's. the least of your worries

ginhag · 10/02/2010 10:29

Lyra say YES to drugs

ginhag · 10/02/2010 10:32

Ooo and and and...

One of my best mates had such a speedy labour her fella missed it! The head was on way out before she/anyone else realised she was actually in full labour. Whole thing,from 'oo that's a bit of a crampy feeling' to 'fucking hell,there's my baybee' took about 2 hrs,if not less.

PollyPoo · 10/02/2010 10:34

Morning all, I am feeling in a much better frame of mind this . Yesterday did not happen - was a waste of time, nothing had changed, it was just one crap nurse with a crap attitude. I will carry on as before with the TCM and get my hormone levels back down. Peace is restored, hoorah! But I'm keeping Morgan

I have to say, I didn't watch the programme last night but don't let shiz like that put you off having a baybee. Its just TV - they picked the couples would give the best entertainment no doubt. (Will watch it later when Iris is asleep.)

Like Gin said, it is just ONE day - it rarely goes as planned, it is hard going at times but I can honestly say you don't care once you have your little baybee in your arms. And I have to admit to feeling v proud of myself after the birth - I found it incredibly empowering. I would recommend hypno-birthing for sure. {grin}

I just wanna do it all AGAIN.....wAAAHHHHHHH

Cokie · 10/02/2010 10:34

I have just spent an hour catching up. Sal huge congrats, you won!! I have never done nekkid dancing before so I will give it a go

Pol COMPLAIN and DEMAND. Show you have done your research and demand what you want, don't be fobbed off by some stupid bitch that probably isn't even getting shagged and hates kids.

Scorps pls don't lose hope. I am soooo not into the natural stuff but I think it was possibly these guys www.kiteclinic.co.uk/about_us.php?n=0 that helped me get mini Cokie - I tried and was obsessed for 2 years but it happened naturally in the end; or it was just some kind of positive menkul 'tude?? And if hard drugs are not a viable alternative for you it may be worth a shot. Fingers crossed you have won this month anyway

Didn't watch the prog last night but have it sky+'d it so seems like good Sat night viewing when the other alternatives are a crock of shite.

Right, had better do some work...

Scorpette · 10/02/2010 10:36

I didn't find the scenes of labour that scary - I think it's because I'm a Northerner and have 'it'll be reet' hardwired into my DNA (and then on the day itself I'll be the wailiest wimp on the ward, hehe ). The thought of a C-section scares me more - the thought of them ripping open my stomach, etc., freaks me out. Have friend who is a MW and she told me once it's 'brutal beyond belief' how they have to use their hands to rip things apart. And she said babies can be hurt and scarred from being face-up in the womb when the scalpel descends...

Just trying to brighten everyone's day!

I want to watch the fing about the Brizzle Baybees now, just to hear Gin's dulcet tones

Am feeling a little better today, thankee kindly m'dears. Your support does help. That and the arrival of sexy Mitchell in the pit. Hot damn!

Am off to have D21 bloods taken today (even though is D20 - can't do tomorrow cos of work). Fingers crossed it'll all be as it should.

CurlyCasper · 10/02/2010 10:40

Spoke to a friend at the weekend. She was in "slow labour" for a week - so dilating but no pain or contractions. Then from first contraction to him coming out took just one and a half hours! That was eight years ago, and if there is a next time, she has to phone an ambulance the minute anything starts or risk an unplanned home/street/car birth

CurlyCasper · 10/02/2010 10:42

lots of x-posts cos i type too slow. Good luck scorps.

I'm off to the physio now. (if she's a cunt in anyway she might get a winkle-picker kick in honour of poo)

Scorpette · 10/02/2010 10:43

Sorry if I've done everyone's heads in about C-sections, really should've thought more about writing the above Just had a rush of C-section phobia!

Cokie, am thinking of starting acupuncture next month if no win this one, so is good to know it helped you win. Also good for Pol to know, regarding her TCM.

And speaking of you, Poostinky, am glad you are feeling better today. Tomorrow has gone, she is a cunt and knows fuck-all. And I think that when you're TTC and you're not-so-young anymore like wot we is, the hippy shit is allowed totally. I shall be trying hypnobirthing when the time comes, fo sho.

Scorpette · 10/02/2010 10:44

And good luck to you with the physio, Cassie

Eadwacer · 10/02/2010 10:49

Also : I did't think labour looked that bad, to be honest . I was yelling worse than that when I had this weird ulcery stomach stress thing a year or so back - and there was nothing to show for that but bile (don't ask) and no sleep all night.

Har har, I have duly tempted the fates. DO YOUR WORST, BITCHES!

ginhag · 10/02/2010 10:52

Hmm poopy I wasn't empowered at all by my birth experience. And yep scorp cs is Not Nice (most frightened I've ever been.)

even if it is shit,is worth it in the end. Although tbh I wasn't sure about that for first few weeks (you want torture? Now that is torture.)

is not much point scaring people about cs tho scorp. if you are in a position where it has to happen the last thing you need to be thinking about is your baby getting cut!

Special babies is quite old. Prob repeated somewhere sometime. Had a baby born with no bumhole (fixable) who farted out of his willy! Am all flattered you would like to watch tho scorp

ginhag · 10/02/2010 10:54

X post scorp!!!!

And poopy am very full of support re your shit nurse experience.sort of mailed about it,and a zillion other things.

ginhag · 10/02/2010 11:16

By the way mrs ploppy I do very much hope that my next birth experience is empowering. I find it sort of ironic that lots of peeps see 'natural' birth as scary etc and would rather have c section. As I've said before I desperately wished I hadn't had to have cs as I hated the experience,the recovery is tough and you don't get any positive hormone kick. I also think it affected my post natal emotions a lot.

So despite being scared of it I really want as natural a birth as possible...though again,when it comes down to it,I will just do whatever the fuck is needed to deliver baby safely....

On the plus side I was very proud of how brave I was at the birth,was very very scared but was somehow still cracking jokes etc (coping mechanism obv.)

scorps didn't mean to sound harsh luvver.is just often a cs isn't a 'choice' as such...know you were just voicing your fears!

Scorpette · 10/02/2010 11:27

S'okay, Haggle, I shouldn't have rambled like that. Didn't mean to imply C-sections are a lifestyle choice things, as I know the majority are certainly anything but.

My future baybee is being delivered by a stork, none of this nasty foofoo/tummy nonsense the rest of you are on about.

TwinkleToes76 · 10/02/2010 11:33

I had an empowering birth too - I honestly loved every minute of it and it was mercifully quick, pretty painless and on my living room floor. Although I did feel like my insides were going to fall out of my vag for a few weeks! I agree with Gin that (understandably) most people focus so much on the birth when pregnant when that is actually such a tiny part of it all. I realised when the midwife left that I hadn't a bloody clue what to do with this tiny squirming person!