Facebook status updates you wish you could write. XXXX...

[Tigresswoods]

is fed up with seeing babies everywhere

Well I would like to write:

'First~Name Surname' is a two timing, shitty arsed, lying, sneaky, snake in the grass wanker and ought to be humiliated and drowned. Yes! I'm bitter!

'Breathe in, breathe out' I'm calm.

Ha ha at squelching with pre-seed. Know that feeling.

...does not want your sympathy, wants a baby

I just want to put on my facebook status...... "is desperately waiting for Aunt Flo, so I can start TTC again..... 4 months and very impatient....."

....is maternal, desperately wishes she was pregnant and really doesn't care about her career whatever her friends may think!

..........has just found out her baby died at 8 weeks and needs it removed. Dont give me sympathy it doesnt help, i just want my baby back.

(((Ray))) xx

"...spent a lot of time BDing on holiday and THINKS she got her time right but won't know for a few weeks"

Also am sick of the pictures of newborns (feel very cruel) if/when it ever happens to me will I really want everyone I know to see me half dressed, looking very tired and with a frowning bundle of stretchy skin in my arms. I think not although I suspect I might change my mind.

PLEASE LET THIS BE MY MONTH!!!!

... wants to be a smug married with an ultrasound photo on her profile.

Oh Ray I am so sorry to hear this news.

Aunt Flo is here........... after 4 months of waiting.... HURRAY !!

is... looking at your profile and the pictures of your new born and is frankly not bovvered. So there.

is... taking a deep breath and posting "oh how cute" comments on other people's baby pics. And is pretending not to be desperately wishing for it to be her turn!

...doesn't care for your 50 new pictures of a new born and is on CD32 of a usually 30-33 day cycle and is nervous

BlondieMix I agree.

Add

.......is taking a deep breath and posting "congratulations" on friends walls who announce they are pregnant on Facebook but couldn't tell me to my face as I've had a miscarriage.

....... is on the 2WW.

....... is sick of BD'ing unenthusiastically cos she thinks she might be ovulating.

...... wants to know where her exciting (pre TTC) sex life went!

is loving the clomid symptoms (just means it working), but dreading having the billionth vaginal scanner shoved up her fanjo on weds.

ray: x

Lissielou, I can sympothise although give me all the internals you like, its the blood tests I cannot stand. I will swap you one internal for one blood test, wadda you say?

deal! i dont mind the bloods too much, its the scans i hate.

"Tigresswoods is having an internal on behalf of a lady she met on the internet, she has swapped it for her next blood test."

pmsl

"is having bloods taken on behalf of tigresswoods, and would like to thank her for having the probe"

lissielou and Tigress you are both mad! But if you're offering you have have my internals too and I'll have your blood tests!

Fabulous, ahll inform my BUPA consultant that I now have 2 ladies standing by for blood tests next time. He will charge me £50 for confirming it of course!

pmsl tigress, bargain

Back to the Facebook status'!

Tigress ...knows more about the female monthly cycle than a PE teacher doing a talk to a group of 12 year old school girls!