TTC #1, over 35, struggling with the process, 3 cycles down plus…. Anyone else?

[Thisisouryear2025]

As the title says really… feeling alone in this uphill struggle of TTC. Just want to hang out with anyone else who fits into the same category as me. Currently in cycle 4, 10dpo, pretty sure I am out but AF not due yet for 5 days. Feeling more and more like a negative Nancy as each cycle passes, trying to stay sane and would like to be in a support group with others who are going through the same in terms of no other children, over 35, and already a few cycles down. I also have low AMH, despite lovely textbook cycles I am struggling to remain upbeat and happy, it’s all I can think about, I have become a googling overthinking raving lunatic! I’m busying myself with stupid thoughts like am I having too much sex, not enough sex, is there enough sperm volume, am I eating right, taking enough supplements, looking after myself enough, what if it never happens etc etc. anyone else feel like they are an obsessed loon that doesn’t really know what else to think about? We did have a chemical pregnancy last August on our first cycle of unprotected sex…. Then stopped trying due to other reasons however cycle 4 now and just feel like it’s doom and gloom! Any other ladies want to join for the ride?

@Thisisouryear2025i’m 12dpo today using clear blue 6 days earlier or whatever they’re called and a cheapy! I think this is what’s happened this month - my cycle is usually 28-29 days so I presume I ovulate around day 14 but this is my first month ttc and using OPKs. I got a peak OPK on day 16 of my cycle so guessing I ovulated day 17 - I think because I’ve ovulated 3 days later than usual my period will come 3 days later - which would be Monday (here’s my chart and my super negative tests from this morning)

@FlyHighSky72 So if you had a peak OPK at day 16 and it was a true peak, then yes you probably ovulated on day 17, which was 5th May? So you are 12dpo today and so you are still early. Do you get egg white CM around ovulation?

Yes ovulated May 5th! So guessing period due Monday really not last Friday as the app suggested! I didn’t take note of CM this month but I do usually get some and I used conceive plus lube on my fertile days according to the app. Really? I just think if I was pregnant I would have tested positive at 12 dpo!

@Thisisouryear2025that’s my OPK so I think it was a true peak?

@FlyHighSky72 Yeah that’s defo a true peak. Ok so if you are due Monday for starters you have a good luteal phase! Some people don’t test positive until past 14dpo but I guess at 12dpo it is pretty accurate.

Thanks @Thisisouryear2025im not sure what my luteal phase is tbh! The Premom app was worried about my 10 day luteal phase when I logged my peak OPK at day 17 but now I haven’t come on my period so I’m guessing that I’ve ovulated later than I usually do and that’s why my period is late - I’m sure I’ve read that the luteal phase stays fairly similar throughout cycles. According to Premom and the period tracker built into my phone I’m 1 day late on my period today but I think that’s what’s happened given the stark negative! Thanks for being honest - there’s a lot of people who are (kindly im sure) very consistent with the positivity which I don’t find that helpful - it just gives me false hope! Pretty sure if I haven’t got even a vvfl at 12dpo I’m out!

@FlyHighSky72 Ah that’s ok!! I’m like you, I find the overly optimistic “you’re not out until AF arrives” annoying too, because I agree at 12dpo you would like to say it’s fairly accurate. However there are cases where people don’t get positives until later on but it is rare. I’m 12dpo today & 13dpo tonight & way too scared for a bfn this month. Im
trying not to be too hopeful! I would say the apps are always wrong, do you get ovulation pain or track bbt? I can pin point ovulation from the ewcm, pain & bbt easily. Luteal phase will always be the same. Why do you think you have a short one?

@Thisisouryear2025are you going to test or just wait to see if AF shows? I only think I have a short luteal phase because of what Premom predicted for my period due date - I have no idea what it is tbh as this is my first month tracking. No I’ve never had ovulation pain, usually I do get CM but I wasn’t paying attention this month - I will next month!

@FlyHighSky72 Yeah it doesn’t look like you have a short LP at all, 12 days is adequate and 13-14 is optimal. But people do conceive with far less! I would say you are probably needing to track
your cycle a little more closely to make sure you are hitting the right days. You probably are but ewcm will tell you when to have sex & your peak will give you a rough guide it’s about to happen and the bbt will confirm it’s happened with a rise. How many months into TTC are you?

@Thisisouryear2025this is my first month TTC so still new to everything! Yeah, I used OPKs this month and will def track CM next month. I’m not sure I can track BBT as I don’t get up as consistent times in the morning (work) so I don’t think it’ll work! Was going to try testing for PdG this month

@FlyHighSky72 Oh ok you are still so early in the process!! That’s fine to learn about cycles it’s unlikely to happen straight away

@Thisisouryear2025i know it’s unlikely you just hope you’ll be the one though don’t you! I have a DS who I caught with second month

@FlyHighSky72 You will be absolutely fine! I agree you always want to be in the “under 3 month” category

Thanks for understanding @Thisisouryear2025- feel like I’m surrounded by others who are also 12dpo and got their bfp this morning

@FlyHighSky72 I just tested to move on as I’ve had brown CM today so thought AF will sadly show her ugly head this month. And yes BFN as expected. So I totally hear you! Just sucks and not fair

Boo I’m sorry @Thisisouryear2025it really sucks!! Are you going to try anything new next month? I’m going to keep a good track of my CM and might ask hubs to try coQ10 too

I am 36 and just had my first baby. We started trying a few months before my 35th birthday. It took us 12 months exactly. Wish I hadn’t stressed about the whole thing now, I was literally on edge after like month 4. Went for fertility tests after TTC for 7 months and was also told my AMH was on the lower side, I was ready for IVF at that point but thankfully my husband forced me to wait the full year. I wouldn’t worry too much about that though as it only takes one egg, you only need loads if you want to do IVF. I did take CQ10 the last 4 months, I gained loads of weight from stress eating lol and my BMI went up to over 30. I don’t know if any of this made a difference

@SamWalks Thanks so much for this today, it’s actually needed and came at the right time! I’ve just started spotting end of cycle 5, so I am out. I’ve already started tests and had good progesterone back this week and my other half’s sperm test came back great. So we have eggs and sperm… I think you are right I just need to not worry about it all but it’s just so hard. Appreciate your input about the lower AMH as I have that but doctor also said you don’t need to worry about that unless ivf is on the cards. I’m now on coQ10 so hoping that helps!

Just checking in.... how are you all doing this week?

I'm CD8 today... I've not decided if I will test with opks this cycle yet or not. I was a bit of a crazy last month with them 🤦🏻‍♀️ plus, pre mom has me ovulating back end of next week which is when we are away for a few nights which would normally be great however, we are actually going camping for a few nights so I'm not sure how possible DTD will be in a tent with 2 kids 🫠🤣 so I might just chill this month and go with the flow.

@2Sugars2 Hey how are you? Im not to bad, git blood tests today so a bit nervous! I think I ovulate in a week too, im going ti try hit a couple of days in my fertile period & use ewcm to determine when that is. May do a couple of opk. I think if you are camping with two kids defo chill, but at the same time do it quietly 😂

@Thisisouryear2025 I hope the test went okay... good luck for your results 🤞🏼 I know you've been waiting to get the full picture.
Yeah, I think I'm just going to go with the flow this month and try and be relaxed about everything.

@2Sugars2 yeah it went fine just waiting for results today! Bit worried about my egg reserve!! Yeah defo, think while you are waiting for the sperm to increase its wise as there’s less of a chance & no point in unnecessary stress x

how are you all getting on this cycle? I think I am now 3dpo (ish), I decided to go easy this month and haven't used opks or done my temp this cycle and I cannot tell you how much saner I feel. I just went off how I felt and symptoms (Cm etc). We've been DTD every other day pretty much to cover all bases.

@Thisisouryear2025 did you get your results?

Hey @2Sugars2glad you are feeling better!! I only did 2 OPKs this cycle and we only DTD twice that fertile period and I am 7dpo today. I just know it’s not my month, but I’m away in Cyprus now until Sunday so I’m just drinking and eating and sunbathing and trying not to care. But I did see a pregnant woman and burst into tears yesterday… every woman here is pregnant apparently! All my results came back good and so did my partners so she just said it’s a numbers game now. Due on Wednesday next week so we will see but I’m sure I’m out. My ovulation pain was a lot less this month than the previous month & we dtd less & my temps are all over the shot from travelling, sleep schedule messed up, drinking etc I kinda just feel like there is no hope!

Ahhh I'm so pleased everything came back normal for you both @Thisisouryear2025

Enjoy your hols.... (it's nicer crying poolside in glorious weather than crying on your sofa!!) eat the food, drink the wine 🍷