TTC #1, over 35, struggling with the process, 3 cycles down plus…. Anyone else?

[Thisisouryear2025]

As the title says really… feeling alone in this uphill struggle of TTC. Just want to hang out with anyone else who fits into the same category as me. Currently in cycle 4, 10dpo, pretty sure I am out but AF not due yet for 5 days. Feeling more and more like a negative Nancy as each cycle passes, trying to stay sane and would like to be in a support group with others who are going through the same in terms of no other children, over 35, and already a few cycles down. I also have low AMH, despite lovely textbook cycles I am struggling to remain upbeat and happy, it’s all I can think about, I have become a googling overthinking raving lunatic! I’m busying myself with stupid thoughts like am I having too much sex, not enough sex, is there enough sperm volume, am I eating right, taking enough supplements, looking after myself enough, what if it never happens etc etc. anyone else feel like they are an obsessed loon that doesn’t really know what else to think about? We did have a chemical pregnancy last August on our first cycle of unprotected sex…. Then stopped trying due to other reasons however cycle 4 now and just feel like it’s doom and gloom! Any other ladies want to join for the ride?

@2Sugars2 Hey! Ah it’s still so early at 7dpo to test. Maybe give it a few more days if you can so the result is a bit more reliable. Yeah I am really struggling with waiting for test results now tbh, obviously in my head it’s all going to be terrible and I am sitting here riddled with anxiety now. I don’t feel anything currently actually, my bbt is above coverline and so that’s fine, I’m only 4dpo, will be 5dpo this evening so so early for me to feel anything. I’m probs not pregnant this cycle so I’m just accepting more disappointment today. Having a down day!!

@Thisisouryear2025, sorry to hear you're having a down day. Have you anything else to look forward to at the moment? That's not too long to wait until you get all the test results, though fingers crossed you won't need them and you'll have conceived by then.

@2Sugars2 still so early, I'd say don't test (but fo be fair I probably would cave if it were me!) I never got the whole two week wait before - I thought two weeks isn't that long, but it drags!

My periods have definitely changed with all the supplements, they seem to be getting more regular and heavier. I loved how light they used to be but, I suppose, there wouldn't have been enough tissue for implantation to occur. I'm getting more of a pattern in the lead up to them so I'm hopeful these are all good signs!

@Thisisouryear2025 Oh I am sorry that you’re going through this, I’m also going through it too. I’m nearly 41 and my partner and I are trying for our first baby. I was told a year ago that I have an endometrial polyp, and that I needed surgery to remove it otherwise conception is impossible. I was marked as ‘low priority’ for surgery which means a long wait of up to 12 months, and I waited three months for them to tell me this when I called the hospital. So I go to a specialist who puts me straight on the list, but then she ordered another ultrasound and the polyp is gone. So we could finally start. Two cycles in and I’m already putting so much pressure on myself and my partner. Obsessing over the timing is killing me and sex must happen on the right day or it’s all a waste- all the planning, vitamins and such. Today is my peak fertility day but I put so much pressure on my partner that it didn’t happen. We ran out of time cos we still have a million other things to do and I just cried. All we have to do is do it on these three days and i missed it. We did it yesterday but does the sperm really live for three days?? My LH surge is today so should we do it tomorrow or is it too late, and now I don’t want to ask my partner cos it might start another argument. He says it’s too much pressure.

My AMH is normal but I am older. The doctor says I must not wait and to do it now. I’m trying!! I can’t think about anything else. I see mums with their new babies and I get sad. I get my period and get sad. Then my partner gets sad because I am.

you still have time at 36 years old, with low AMH you can still get pregnant. I hope it happens for you soon. I’m glad I discovered this site and that others are going through the same thing because it’s tough and I’m only just starting.

@Thisisouryear2025 ohhh I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down today, your anxiety is totally valid though. I guess, going for the tests make it real doesn't it and you are walking into the unknown. I appreciate it's must be hard. The tests have been done, the results are out of your control. But, if you need medical assistance in any way, it's a much better position to be in knowing and receiving the advice/treatment, then continuing on your own and getting the same result. Try and do something that makes you feel good this weekend.

@Daisyinthegrass yes, it's so hard to wait. The TWW is longggg... I already know I will test in the morning - pointless I know, but it will scratch an itch!

@Vplop sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it too. It can be so stressful doing the OPKs and making sure you time it right when you are in your fertile window. Takes the fun right out of it and it almost becomes a chore sometimes. I felt the same earlier in my cycle, and then I felt a huge sense of relief when I knew I was in my TWW because I didn't have to test or plan anymore. It can become so consuming.

@2Sugars2 thank you, I appreciate it. Yeah I reckon I’ll just write this cycle off and relax. Thinking now it might be better not to even tell him that I’m ovulating anymore so it doesn’t feel like a chore.

Ah thank you! Yeah I’m looking at holidays now for the 1st June. And I’m going to head to the pub in a mo. I know it’s only two weeks but feels like forever to wait. I’d love to think I’ve conceived but I probs haven’t.

great about your periods though. Super positive!

@Vplop ah honey I TOTALLY feel your pain here!!! It is SO hard watching all these new mums with babies and pregnant people and all the announcements as well! I just can’t stomach it!! Brilliant that the polyp went away on its own, my friend had one too and it went on its own. She’s about to give birth now and it only took a couple of months after it had gone. You may find you conceive quicker than you think.

as for the sex thing, yes defo do it tomorrow, do you get ovulation pain? If so, have sex as you start to feel the pain. I had a chemical pregnancy by having sex when I felt the pain. Every other day is enough, the doctor told me not to do it everyday anyway. If you want to have sex tonight do, but if not tomorrow morning is fine! Or even evening!
I hope I still have time, I just get so down with it!

Thank you! I agree, it does make it feel real and I am scared of bad results but I guess I’d rather know, so I can seek help quickly instead of wasting another year trying when there is no way we will conceive. I shall go have a wine now, I’m sure I won’t have got lucky this month so a couple of roses are required!! X

defo don’t tell him if he finds that hard. It put my other half under so much pressure last August when we started trying that he said he didn’t want to try any more. We then gave up trying to rekindle until this January. I had a chemical pregnancy the first month we tried last year so it’s bloody annoying 4 cycles down and nothing!!

I guess I didn’t realise the effect it can have on him. What is a chemical pregnancy?

@Vplop it’s a miscarriage under 5 weeks. My other half now to be fair doesn’t care about doing set days etc so just needed time to understand that fertile week can’t be missed if he wants a baby

@Thisisouryear2025 how did you get on with the tests? Have you had any results back?

We have done an at home SA called Exseed. I'm feeling mixed about it (background catch up - partner has had a vasectomy reversal) His overall sperm count is just under normal, but not too far off but the motility is particularly low. I'm not sure why, maybe I was expecting a miracle but I was expecting better results. I'm trying to remain positive... We have sperm!! which, pre-op, we did not have, and we are only 9/10 weeks post op now. We were told it takes approx 3-6 months for levels to get back so I guess the fact we have sperm at all at this point means the reversal worked(?). I don't know, I feel bummed out about it but I'm trying not to be. I'm also trying to tell myself to be realistic! god it's the waiting... I am sick of waiting, such a long process.

rant over.... how is everyone else getting on?

@2Sugars2 Hey lovely! Sorry the results have come back not so good right now, however, as you say there is sperm AND you are well within normal timeframes to get sperm up to a good level again. Is he eating well, limiting booze and not smoking and exercising regularly etc? Also taking a great supplement like impyrl?
I am ok today, just about. But like you I am SICK of waiting, waiting for a BFP, waiting on test results, waiting for my house extension to be done, waiting for EVERYTHING! So yep I hear you & feel your pain I am very much exhausted right now. Sorry to hear a bit glum 😞
So I got my progesterone back yesterday from my 7dpo blood tests & it came back at 52.7nmol which is high. It’s out of range high… range is 13-46nmol with above 30nmol confirming successful ovulation. I don’t know how to feel about it really, could be a good thing as it’s high enough to sustain a pregnancy or could even be because of implantation but I don’t feel pregnant right now?! Also it could be a cyst that is causing the high progesterone, from what I’ve read they are harmless and don’t impact fertility and go away on their own within a couple of months. So I am just a bit confused really.
SA will be back no later than next Thursday, maybe sooner, and my day 3/4 bloods are being done next Thursday so by Friday next week I should have a clearer picture hopefully.

This is tough though. How many months in are you? And hold old are you now if you don’t mind me asking? I’m just 36 and I am panicking!!

hiya @Thisisouryear2025 Yes, he's been really good with everything to be fair. He followed the post op care to a T, he eats well anyway and regular exercise etc. He hasn't cut booze out completely, but he drinks that little of it I don't think a complete ban would make much of a difference. He's been taking wellman conception but I am going to look into other things; I have already been reading about impyrl but jeeeez it is pricey isn't it.

God the wait, everything just seems to take so long with this process. waiting for a positive opk... waiting for test results, sperm takes 3-4 months to rejuvenate so guess what, another wait. Even if there is an issue it's a bit like whack a mole... 'well there could be different reasons why with different answers', try this for a bit and see how you get on. NO!! We are done waiting. Even changing supplements, takes weeks if not months for it to get going in your system. I am also 36 - perhaps this is why we are sick of waiting?! I feel like I have a clock on me. Gives me the icky tummy feeling when I really sit and think about it.

ohh that is a high result isn't it - did they say anything to suggest what could be behind the result? Have you been able to chat to a GP about it? I'm limited with my knowledge of progesterone but I did know it increases with pregnancy, so maybe? when are you due on? I know it's hard, and all you can think about (i've been so distracted today so i do get it), but try and switch off for the week until you've got the full picture next Friday.

@2Sugars2 That’s so good! Yes I think balance is more important than stressing about stopping things. Yes it is expensive but such good reviews! Il try anything at this point 😭

yeah the wait is painful and draining and I honestly can’t deal!! Yeah I think age is a factor, I know time is running out and it’s scary and makes us desperate.

It is high, she didn’t age just said it’s fine and confirms I’ve ovulated. The rest I’ve just read myself. Yeah it does increase immediately with a pregnancy, so fingers crossed it’s that but at this point I’m a bit of a negative Nancy. I am due Sunday but probably Monday morning. I am so badly struggling to switch off but you are so right. I fancy a wine!!

@Thisisouryear2025 are you going to test before AF comes? It's so easy to be negative isn't it and so hard to be patient. Never day never until AF arrives... I'll keep my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼✨

I've been like a crazy women this evening googling anything and everything about sperm 🤣 I really liked the exseed test we ordered though if you were ever interested in doing an SA at home in the future. it was so easy. Results very quick. It's not the cheapest but better than waiting god knows how long... our formal SA through the GP isn't until July 🤦🏻‍♀️

Did my three different branded tests just now and absolutely nothing - not even a hint of a line so I’m out this month!

@2Sugars2 I don’t think il bother testing actually as I can’t be bothered with a negative, il just wait until Monday morning if my period hasn’t come. I suspect it will! Thank you though!
yep so hard not to crazy google lol, I think my phone will explode if I ask it anymore times about why I have high progesterone at 7dpo!!
Tbh it keeps saying the most likely reason is pregnancy but I honestly don’t think I am.
i think I was crampy in my sleep last night, I remember waking up slightly and thinking is that period cramps but maybe it was a dream or just wind 😂😂 nothing will shock me now as there is likely a reason for l of it that’s not pregnancy 🫣

When is AF due!? If you are 10dpo that is too early really to rest anyway. X

@Thisisouryear2025AF is due tomorrow at 11 dpo hence me testing today - so I’m out

You don’t know that though as implantation could have occurred later and the hormone not high enough still. Just because you have a shorter LP it doesn’t mean your body will implant earlier and give you and earlier positive x

Ah ok @Thisisouryear2025I thought having a shorter luteal phase meant that I should be able to see something on a test on 10DPO as otherwise even if an egg was fertilised and implanted say 9dpo it wouldn’t ‘stick’?

No not at all you will implant just like anyone, and your body gives you enough time so you may not get a positive test until 12dpo say but still miss a period. You still need enough time for the hormone to rise

I see @Thisisouryear2025- I know that with my first (ten years ago) I got my first positive at 12 dpo but I don’t know when I ovulated (didn’t track just went off the app so may have been wrong) and I was obv ten years younger! We shall see if AF shows up tomorrow then I guess. Do you know anything about cervix position? Everything I’ve read says it moves down before AF but mine still seems high? (Again haven’t really felt for it before but it takes my whole middle finger to reach it which I think means it’s high?)

@FlyHighSky72 Yeah 12dpo is a bit more realistic for a BFP. Hopefully AF does not show! Yeah high cervix and it being squishy does mean it’s a good sign, but then again I’ve read loads that people’s cervix’s haven’t moved up until later so I don’t think it’s overly accurate. I just want to know now waiting until Monday seems like a lifetime!!