TTC #1, over 35, struggling with the process, 3 cycles down plus…. Anyone else?

[Thisisouryear2025]

As the title says really… feeling alone in this uphill struggle of TTC. Just want to hang out with anyone else who fits into the same category as me. Currently in cycle 4, 10dpo, pretty sure I am out but AF not due yet for 5 days. Feeling more and more like a negative Nancy as each cycle passes, trying to stay sane and would like to be in a support group with others who are going through the same in terms of no other children, over 35, and already a few cycles down. I also have low AMH, despite lovely textbook cycles I am struggling to remain upbeat and happy, it’s all I can think about, I have become a googling overthinking raving lunatic! I’m busying myself with stupid thoughts like am I having too much sex, not enough sex, is there enough sperm volume, am I eating right, taking enough supplements, looking after myself enough, what if it never happens etc etc. anyone else feel like they are an obsessed loon that doesn’t really know what else to think about? We did have a chemical pregnancy last August on our first cycle of unprotected sex…. Then stopped trying due to other reasons however cycle 4 now and just feel like it’s doom and gloom! Any other ladies want to join for the ride?

Thanks @Thisisouryear2025good luck to you too! Hoping for lovely sticky beans for all of us!

@FlyHighSky72 No worries at all and yes baby dust to all of us!!

@Thisisouryear2025 Yeah, I think riding this out and seeing if AF shows her ugly head is a good idea. Sometimes the pressure of testing every day just adds another load to an already anxious time.
I was due on yesterday but nothing has arrived yet but I feel very 'AF-y'.. I demolished a load of left over easter egg chocolate last night!!

@FlyHighSky72 sorry to hear about your bfn... it's not over until AF arrives. I think this process is so much harder as everyones experiences are so different with their cycles. There is never one size fits all.

@2Sugars2 I have had a couple of strong period cramps this morning so maybe my cramps last night were real and not a dream?! I don’t know I think I could be out. Defo not going to test early, I just can’t be arsed now to see another negative. That’s exciting it hasn’t arrived!! When will you test? PMS is same as pregnancy symptoms so you never know!!

Can I just ask why you guys call your period AF. What does it mean?

@Vplop Aunt Flow

So we have sperm results back in and they are good so I am so relieved!

ahhhh amazing, I'm really pleased for you @Thisisouryear2025 Have you just got to wait for your full results then next week? And then you will have the full picture?

@2Sugars2 Thank you! Yeah I just need my day 3 bloods doing and then we will have the full picture. Currently we know we have eggs & sperm & progesterone high enough. They will check my egg reserve which will be low, estrogen & thyroid. If all ok then I guess we keep going and maybe she will scan me?

@Thisisouryear2025 slowly ticking the list off by the sounds of it and all coming back with full marks which is really positive. I honestly don't really know the process of going for fertility tests through the GP. We would never have qualified for any assistance through the GP due to my partners vasectomy. I paid private at a fertility clinic to have my initial assessment which involved bloods and an internal scan to check egg reserve. Maybe I should have had more tests 🤷🏻‍♀️
Been out today and brought additional supplements for my other half to take to get those swimmers swimming and full charged 🤣

@2Sugars2 How you doing today? What dpo are you now? Yeah we are good so far but one lot of tests to go next Thursday and then by Friday we have the full picture. I’m just happy we have eggs and sperm. What tests did you get? And what supplements did you get?

@FlyHighSky72 sorry about your negative tests, hopefully they were just done too early.

@2Sugars2 that's good news that your OH has sperms in his sample.

@Thisisouryear2025 excellent news about the tests so far. Hopefully your period isn't on uts way but at least if it is, you can get your day 3 bloods done.

I'm waiting to ovulate again now. Think I'll start OPKs again early next week. I've been tracking my temperature now since earlyish last cycle. It was quite up and down last cycle but there was a clear rise. This cycle, so far, it's been much more consistent onlyvreally fluctuating within 0.1C, whereas last month, pre-ovulation, it was fluctuating within 0.6C. I assume that's a better sign so far this month?

Hiya @Thisisouryear2025 @Daisyinthegrass Happy Friday!! Yeah I'm okay thanks, my AF arrived late last night which I'm not mad about to be honest. I honestly feel super relieved about the SA, I'm in a few different groups on facebook about vasectomy reversals and some couples have zero sperm return so I'm feeling very grateful that we have this early on. I think that is what has been making me so anxious.

I can't decide whether to just chill for this cycle, just sort of take it as it comes but not (obsessively) test opks etc.. Or whether to stick with it because I did learn a lot about my cycle the last few cycles.

@Daisyinthegrass - i'm really new to BBT, I only introduced it last cycle but I did notice mine bounced around a bit before ovulation but consistently stayed under the coverline. I found it a really useful tool to confirm ovulation though - i'm not sure I trust the opk's 100% (well the number it gives you in premom anyway) I once scanned a strip 3 times within a matter of minutes and it gave me 3 different results!!

@Thisisouryear2025 He was already taking a wellman supplement, which I know he wasn't taking religiously because, you know, men!! But we have added in fish oil too.. Read good things about that. He is so eager to start taking ice baths again but our surgeon has said it's a no go - apparently really cold or really hot can impact sperm!

@2Sugars2 sorry your period has arrived. I'm new to temps too so it's only a bit new to me. I could see a clear difference between pre- and post-ovulation which tied in with a darker OPK. I I'm not sure it was ever truly positive but it definitely darkened for 2 days so I assume the peak/positive result was between those two. I just use the cheap sticks off Amazon. I feel a bit better trying to know where I am each day!

Hi ladies sorry I’ve had a busy day!! And I am trying to book our holiday which feels like it’s not that easy lol. So sorry about AF turning up @2Sugars2but at least you can take the positive that you have sperm coming back!! That’s kinda what I am telling myself this month of it’s a bfn, at least I know we have eggs and sperm so next month u can go into trying with a positive mindset. Happy Friday anyway, what you doing this evening? I want to go have a glass or something somewhere!! Maybe try but “chill try” as you know you don’t have fully loaded sperm yet so not point in being super obsessed, may be nicer to try to relax a bit. But I so know that is easier said than done, I tell myself every month I’m gonna chill and I defo do not!!

@Daisyinthegrass thank you! I really hope I don’t get my period but who knows. Like you say if I come on I can get my day 3 bloods done and get the full picture. Tracking temps is good but I find it easier now I use my Apple Watch to do it. As long as you see the under cover line temps before ovulation and then the above cover line temps after ovulation then that’s ok, they will naturally fluctuate.

@FlyHighSky72 Hope you are ok, any sign of AF?

Hi @Thisisouryear2025no sign yet but I’m sure it’ll come tomorrow!!

@FlyHighSky72 Will that make you a day late tomorrow? Have you tested again?

@Thisisouryear2025I didn’t test this morning no - AF was due today so I don’t know if that makes me one or two days late tomorrow? Presume one? I’m not sure of the likelihood of testing positive on 12 dpo (tomorrow) if I didn’t at 10 dpo?

@FlyHighSky72 there is absolutely a chance especially if you haven’t had AF start. 10dpo is so early! Do you have symptoms?

@Thisisouryear2025ah thanks - I have no idea if I have symptoms tbh! I’ve been logging everything on Premom so that next month I can compare - so hard to know if things are progesterone or pregnancy! Will test tomorrow morning at what will be 12 dpo and see how I get on…..nerve wracking

@FlyHighSky72 please keep us posted I have every faith we will get some positives on this thread!! Late AF is only a good sign 🙏🏻

@FlyHighSky72 exciting that your period hasn't yet arrived - hopefully you'll have a positive test tomorrow!

@Thisisouryear2025 they were fluctuating so much last month, they seem more stable this month though

🤞🏼🤞🏼 I've got my fingers crossed for those you waiting xx

No period still but negative tests!! Body is playing silly buggers

@Daisyinthegrass that’s really positive !! I hope it happens for you soon 🩵

@2Sugars2 thank you! I’ve still got 3 days until AF is due so I won’t test until Tuesday morning unless I spot on Sunday/Monday as I normally would. I just hope I don’t spot 😓

@FlyHighSky72 what tests are you using?? And what dpo would you be now?