TTC #4 at 39!

[Fluffy38]

Morning everybody, looking for support/company in my TTC journey!
Bit of back ground info I'm 39 on Saturday so well aware time isn't on my side. I have 3 Children (19,12 and 6) and have had multiple miscarriages between those 3, last year I had 2 mc and a mmc at 12 weeks which resulted in a major hemorrhage and emergency surgery! We have been TTC actively since but feel very lonely in this journey 😢 Hubby is fantastic and very supportive but I feel speaking with people going through the same will help to feel less alone and less guilty that my body is failing me xx

Hi @Fluffy38poor you love. How are you both doing? Xx

He's doing well from an asthma stand point he responded well to treatment and is back home, however its really made him anxious bless him. I'm very tired and emotionally drained 10DPO today POAS and got a bnf (concieve plus early detection) AF due Sunday but I think I'm defo out again xx how are you? What's the state of play our end? Xx

God, must be so stressful. Yes can imagine he’s going to be very anxious of it happening again! Poor lad. Glad he’s improving.
In exhausted too to be honest so I feel your pain! 🤣 10DPO is still early though, especially because you can implant a tiny bit later than you thought!
Im 7DPO. Not feeling any different really. Will start testing in a few days and test every few days until AF. Trying to keep busy! Xx

I did tell myself it was probably to early I have a couple more tests left so we shall see what happens. Iv definitely tried keeping myself busy, hubby's off to Wales metal detecting on Friday for the weekend so iv brought a load of paint and stuff to re decorate my bathroom and toilet lmao 🤣 xx

Yeah, let’s see what happens! We are quite close in our cycles! 😀

only just say down, been in the garden watering the plants and grass because it’s not rained in forever.. not that I’m complaining!! lol. Does take ages though which is annoying. Are you still reading then? I didn’t start the second book I bought 🥴 just not had the time because been busy running around doing more stuff exciting things! Lol. Metal detecting 🤔😆 one of our neighbours on our road metal detect! He’s found alsorts. Good on you! Nice to freshen things up isn’t it! Our downstairs needs sorting in places too but it can wait 🤣 xx

Iv read quite alot I done a whole book whilst lil man was in hospital lol, Clives found a few bits on his digs personally I would get really bored walking up and down a field swinging an overpriced stick 😅. He enjoys it thought and hopefully one day he will find something really good that means I can retire! Iv woken up shattered this morning chances are I probably won't get round to painting at the weekend as much as I want to get it done AF is due Sunday and I'll probably feel to rubbish to even attempt it lol xx

Hey. Sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish. I am totally whacked out too. Couldn’t keep my eyes open come 9pm last night. Was up for around 2 hours in the night not being able to sleep. Managed to fall back to sleep but feel even more tired now 🥴
It’s the noise the detectors make that would drive insane! 🥴 Hope he manages a nice little find though! I’m due my AF on Wednesday. I decided in the early hours while I was awake that I’m going to try and resist testing until Wednesday! Wonder if I can?!?! Xx

I tell myself that every month and then I cave in and test early lol 😆, if you do manage to hold off testing until weds then you would be the ultimate wonder woman that's true strength!! I swear I get a voice in my head that says go on pee on the stick what's the worst that could happen. Then you get a BFN and the sadness and frustration kick in its a horrible cycle of emotions we go through trying to concieve xx

Yes! I get you! Well I’m going to try very hard, I do have a huge determination streak when I want to! My parents are coming up at the weekend so that will be a distraction and I’m busy Monday so if I can just leave it on Tuesday and test Wednesday morning then I’ve done it! I am so so tired today. Struggle now as energy is draining. I have my little one on a Thursday and we go to dance in the morning, came home to do a few things around the house and have some lunch then we went to the park, B & M and then back home. I have ovary twinges and just so tired. Metallic taste in my mouth too but don’t know if I’m imaging it?! Xx

I know that feeling, super tired, I have had alot of CM which I don't usually have, boobs feel super heavy, gagged eating a caramac earlier and I normally enjoy those and I can't stomach coffee but test this morning was still negative its like my mind tricks me worse every month that passes xx

Aawwww sorry to hear @Fluffy38Im only 9 DPO. Was out cold for 9.30pm last night. Was up again for an hour in the night 🙄 It’s crazy the slim chances of pregnancy each month! How long have you been trying for now? X

We have been trying since April last year, had 3 consecutive MCs in May,Sept and Nov last year. After the 1st of the 3 MC I fell pretty much straight away but it feels like since Nov its just given up the ghost. I see pregnant people all the time and it makes me feel so crap. We have a mum on the school run she's in her 40s and is complaining that she's due in 2 months (unplanned) and now her life is over again she claims! I really wanted to slap her when she said that! TTC rage was in full force that day lol 😆 xx

It’s such a long time to go through the stress every month isn’t it! It’s horrible having to deal with the miscarriages on top of it all. I was lucky enough to not have any early losses when I was younger, apart from an ectopic rupture. It actually came as a shock when it happened twice last year. I’ve also been super worried and scared when I first find out I’m expecting and every scan is totally nerve wracking but just didn’t realise it would happen twice in less than 6 months. I’ve stopped taking most of my vitamins now apart from my folic acid and omega 3. Trying to get all I need from my diet but struggle some weeks when I feel deflated and like it’s not going to happen. Moaning aside, I do feel super lucky to have my 3 girls xx

100% agree I too feel lucky I have my 3 kiddos and I wouldn't chance it for the world but I have this overwhelming feeling that I feel incomplete if that makes sense. Hubby's left for the weekend now too so I'm feeling sorry for myself lol. Still have alot of CM and just now it had a streak of blood in it but nothing more. I'm 12dpo today so I'd say it's probably to late to be inplantation, AF will probably show up tomorrow (a day early) I have a feeling I'm going into perimenopause which would just be my luck lol xx

@BabyBorn how are things going did you hold out to test? Xx

Hey love! I held off the testing and I came on this morning, bang on schedule!! I’ve realised I must have had a dip in progesterone because for the last two months I have only been breastfeeding my toddler once so it’s altered my hormones! So I have gone from a 31 day cycle to a 27 day cycle which is amazing because that’s around what was normal for me before I had her! Fingers crossed this might mean I will fall pregnant soon and it will stick!! How are things with you? Xx

That does sound positive that your cycles are now back to the normal length!! Surely it will be easier to time everything just right. I'm feeling OK, my flow only last 2.5 days so I'm good to go again, we have our appointment this Friday so fingers crossed we get some answers and some guidance, hubby has said he's gonna put in 110% this month to make up for not doing it last month lol, he got a promotion at work too so he's a happy bunny at the mo 😊 happy hubby happy swimmers hopefully hehe xx

That’s exciting! Bet you can’t wait for your appointment. My cycle has been really heavy so far. What CD are you now? Xx

I'm actually quite nervous to be honest, I'm dreading hearing that it's to late or there's some other issue but I guess time will tell. I'm on CD 4 today, peak fertile time is in 6 days or so my app says but I'm gonna dtd everyother day (hopefully) from tomorrow and make sure we also get a session in the day after Ov day as we somehow seem to stop on the day of Ov lol xx

Hi I’ve been ttc #3 since I was 39 I’m now 43!!! We are now going to try IVF so hoping that works!

@Fluffy38i can imagine you have anxieties too. Hopefully it will all come back normal and it happens for you soon!
So you are 3 days ahead of me then! 😜 yes, my husband says I love it when you are ovulating 😂😂😂 then he is guaranteed to get some action! Ha ha.
@theonewithflowers welcome! Wow, you are brave going ahead with IVF. How old are your other two children?

8 and 5! I needed IVF for ds and then I had lots of treatment and frozen transfers for #2 but none worked so I gave up and miraculously got pregnant with dd. I think I was hoping that would happen again but it hasn’t so we’ve decided to try just one cycle 🤞

Wow that's a long time, did you concieve your other 2 children naturally? Xx

I really hope this works for you, TTC is hard physically and mentally but I think going through IVF must be even more so, I take my hat off to you I wouldn't be brave enough to so it xx

What frustrates me the most is that we are classed as ‘unexplained’ so every test has always come back as ‘normal’ and clearly something isn’t right! If this doesn’t work we are going to stop and just think perhaps it wasn’t meant to be but I think if I didn’t try everything I would look back and have some regrets