Still trying for third baby - thread 2!

[Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow]

@AnaReis @MrsPepper82 @AFeastforCrows @MacNut @WhattheEll @TT82 @Suchardchoccy

Please tag others I’ve blatantly forgotten! And welcome to the new thread!

Good to know!! Thank you 🤩

I'm out again and I literally just wrote the other day how my last few periods I felt relief but this time I feel suddenly really sad! Even though I was fully expecting it to arrive. Time wise I had conceived both my kids by now so this is the longest we've ever spent ttc which feels like a sad milestone. I'm also really sick of my jobs for various reasons but don't feel I can leave whilst ttc as I want my mat pay if I go on to conceive! DH is going out this evening too so I can see it being a put-kids-to-bed-then-eat-chocolate-and-cry kinda evening.

@WeightoftheWorld hugs!! 🥺❤️ same here, AF arrived which I knew and expected but got upset and fed up low.. On top this cycle they booked biopsy (to check if no inflammation after antibiotics left) on the 12th day, so then 2 days after you need to wait and then too late for this cycle..so another month wasted..

Thanks all for the welcome messages

Interesting to read about all the different vitamins and supplements you are all taking. I'm just taking folic acid and vitamin D but may add some others in after reading this.

Do you all track temp and use ovulation sticks? I never did with my previous pregnancies but I am doing now. I'm on CD14 and patiently waiting for ovulation!

Sorry to those who are out this month and hope it happens soon for everyone.

@WeightoftheWorld 🥺😞 hugs to you. Those are soo sad days always.
@TT82 Again - hugs to you also, must be very difficult to know already ahead your out :( can’t you maybe just only insert sperm as I understand sex can cause inflammation risk but maybe some work around is possible?
@babbaganoush I tracked LH test peak with first 2 also (or did I track with first only omg I can’t remember 🤓) but I never tested twice a day and never got my peak. Now I learned why - my peak is soo super rapid that I just missed it all the time.
But I did ferning test and best for me was accidentally discovered fact by doctor with ultrasound that I feel my O very sharply.

I live in Estonia, here government pays compensation for parents to stay at home with kids - sum equals ones pre pregnancy yearly income. So each month is payday until child turns 18 months old. So for me there is no difference in that.
Only I would like to have my known and more safe workplace until we actively try. This came one year or half a year too early 😂

@MrsPepper82 thank you! No, it is inside lining of the uterus inflammation, endometritis, which happens after mc or when they open uterus sometimes. And I had a few early mc last 2 years. They are checking jsu to make sure if a good egg happens nothing will prevent from implanting.

I'm sorry about everyone who is out 😞 sending you all hugs!

@WeightoftheWorld I'm so sorry you're having a bit of a low phase... It's hard watching the months go by and no bfp, I've had months like that when it really make me feel miserable... Sending you an extra big hug and go strong on the chocolate, it always helps a bit ❤️

Regarding breastfeeding and low libido, I always have low libido until AF returns from her post-partum hols 😅 when she returns, so does my crazy libido during my fertile window 😅😅😅

This month I just ovulated yesterday (I think) but we didn't dtd not even once... I've been stressed so although I did feel like it I didn't really do it. So I'm also out this month, unless I'm Holy Mary #2 😅😅 so let's have the next cycle so that I can plan dtd more often!

@WeightoftheWorld im in the same boat re this being the longest time I’ve gone without conceiving…hard not to let it get to you but it’s all just a numbers game…we can do this 💪🏻

I think it’s harder with baby 3 (for me anyway) because of the flip flopping about it - with my first 2 kids I was really focused on conceiving but now I am constantly changing my mind so it’s like a rollercoaster of emotions all the time.

I think I am 8 or 9dpo today and don’t feel pregnant, but will blatantly be clinging on to hope until AF actually arrives so just wishing the time away until then really. Not due until Tuesday.

@AnaFox the holy Mary comment made me laugh! You never know! Hope that next cycle you are in a better place for dtd xx

Sending solidarity to everyone feeling the ups and downs, it’s not easy. I’m just on the pregnacare and have been for ages, kinda wonder if it’s good taking everything long term. I saw a herbalist who recommended chai tea to warm the tummy area and help me reduce caffeine, so I’ve been enjoying that, lots of ginger turmeric and spices.

I took a test 2 days ago on 10DPO, bfn. Normally I don’t but I had a big pack there. Not going to now though until weekend, I don’t feel hopeful this month. I remember this time last year deliberately avoiding Xmas ttc because then a new babe would have a similar bday to my youngest. Now that seems luxurious thinking and mental, but I wasn’t to know it would be so hard this time…

Aw thanks everyone for the kind words and solidarity. I suffer terribly with my periods too, I am on the combined pill for that reason normally so it's grim having these blood baths every month which is another thing getting me down.

AnaFox for some reason the app is just refusing to let me tag people still! But anyway wanted to say thanks for your positivity it did bring a smile to my face! Onwards and upwards!

I found a few more Pregnacare tablets that I didn't know I had so will take those then I need to buy some more.

Funny you should say this! I’m intending to miss next month if this cycle does not work as potential baby would have a due date on my sons birthday! (I’m normally early though, so would predict any baby would probably be a week before their due date). This month is cycle 2 and I already and wishing we didn’t have to miss next month. I’m 38 and still breastfeeding so suddenly feel like time is not exactly on my side… I’ve gotten pregnant pretty easily in the past but I’m that bit older now! Hmm…

Haha sorry reading that back I regret my choice of word mental! I am older than you at 42 so I was really just talking about myself. Really I’m thinking more widely of how we just naively assumed that it would be as easy as the first times, so my first thoughts were all about practicalities, almost assuming I could choose a month I want for birthdays etc. Now I’d just be grateful to have another baby. No doubt though if I do I’d be cursing myself every September with 2x kids bdays plus DH!!

I also tell myself now that no pregnancy is predictable, could be twins or prem for some reason - even when going for the months we want it could work out in unexpected ways.

Lets just hope you catch this month!

We skipped out a few cycles because I wanted to avoid a summer born baby, which I still think was basically the right thing to do but might change my mind about that!

Does anyone have any intel re EWCM and ovulation? Trying to work out how many dpo I am as wasn’t tracking this time. Last day of EWCM was 3 Jan - does that mean I likely ovulated on 2 or 3 Jan?

My ewcm shows latest on O day and next morning very early but already before noon it changes to creamy.

And today I had a talk with my boss, super news, I got what was my best case scenario- I can stay in my super nice place and get a remarkable rise there also 😇🥰
Now just that baby part is missing to complete my vision.
6dpo and I feel the pressure of seeing difference in charts soon. 😣
I always feel optimistic until that part of cycle and then reality hits hard.

Thanks @MrsPepper82 that’s
really helpful - so in that case I think I ovulated on 3 Jan and so am 8dpo today. Will hold off testing for few more days!

Congratulations on the job - sounds like the best possible outcome!

Hi guys…doing my morning check in as makes me feel like I’m doing something that isn’t a pregnancy test!

Now think I am 9dpo so going to do a test tomorrow. Clinging on to a little bit of hope even though I have no symptoms at all and only dtd once! (Though was I think the day before ovulation so at least was well timed).

Good luck for tomorrow. Symptoms really do mean very little either way at this stage!

I’m cycle day 8 of cycle 2 ttc. I got a flashy smiley face on an advanced ovulation test this morning and a tiny bit of Ewcm last night. I ovulated cycle day 12 (rather than the usual day 15 for me) last month so looks like I might be ovulating early again (which if it has no impact on my fertility, is very useful when ttc as less time to wait!). Will start dtd tonight and continue if we can until two days post the positive ovulation.

On another note, I went to get a pen out of my partners work bag and found a nicotine inhaler type thing. He’s smoked when we met and socially still does (although hides it from me which I’m always very uncomfortable about). Obviously a nicotine inhaler is better for his health than smoking, but my understanding is he hat nicotine itself is terrible for fertility and damages sperm production. It’s tricky as it’s his body so I don’t want to seem controlling, but equally… ttc a baby and wanting that baby to be healthy is rather important!

Aww DC1 is a summer baby and it was great! DC2 is an autumn baby and logistically that was so much harder but luckily he was a much easier newborn so it balanced out a bit. I would have loved another summer baby but now I'm just hoping for a winter one at all I suppose!

Good luck with your testing!

And great news about the job situation!

I know people have such different views about birth timing @WeightoftheWorld. I just want them to have as long as possible before starting school. DC2 is November born and it was pretty grim having a newborn in Winter (though was also bleak covid times which didn’t help!) so I totally get that there are lots of advantages to summer. DC1 is spring which is maybe perfect!

@Applesandcake thats really tricky. Unless your DH has other health or fertility issues I wouldn’t have thought the inhaler would make a massive difference to conceiving or the health of the baby - I’d be more worried about the risks to his health generally if he carries on and the dishonesty if he’s hiding it. Can you have an open chat about it?

I'm the same re birth timing. I always hold off starting before Dec, so that any baby born would be a Sept onwards baby and then hope I conceive fast (but who doesn't!). My first two are Oct and Nov babies with 12 days between their birthdays, so I am now slightly concerned of 3 birthdays so close together! We will miss next month out as the due date would actually be my sons birthday. I hope I don't live to regret this decision though, if it then goes on to take us a long time.

I hope it wouldn't but I scared myself by googling nicotine and sperm! It's pretty damaging, but I hope the inhaler is low enough levels and he's using it rarely, that it won't have a huge impact. Yes, ultimately, his health and the secrecy is more of a concern. I imagine he doesn't want to tell me as to be honest, I am very anti smoking generally, especially if you have kids (no offence intended if anyone here is a smoker). My dad died when I was 6 from an accident and so I know very well the impact of a parent dying and feel we have a responsibility to do our best to stay alive for our children's sake!

So sorry for your loss at such a young age @Applesandcake that's so sad. My DH is also super anti-smoking, I'm a bit more chilled about social smoking and probably would have the odd one here and there on a night out but he feels super strongly about it so I don't. It's hardly a hill I'm going to die on as can't deny it's so bad for health!

I get what you mean about school years, we just sent DC1 to reception the year after at 5 instead which you can do with the summer borns. Recognise that we are lucky to live in an area where it was super easy to do that though.

@MrsPepper82 congrats on the offer! That's great news and less stress for you!

@Applesandcake regarding being controlling, I'm now at the nagging stage with my husband. He's going to be 40 this year, I'm going to be 42 and we've been trying for 8 cycles now without success. So now I'm on everything he eats and doesn't eat. He can't have alcohol, has to eat the least carbs possible, no sugar lol he can have what he wants once I'm preggo!! I'm taking a 💩load of supplements and I'm going to add some more, so he can be careful with his body for a bit (or for a while? 😬) too! As soon as my coQ10 arrives he's going to start taking it too as I've read it's really good for sperm motility and quality.

I've been watching videos by several fertility drs and all of them say that smoking is terrible for fertility. If my husband was a smoker I would have a serious conversation with him about it. I mean, are we both together in this or not? I bet you're taking care with what you do and trying to do the best to help things happen, why shouldn't he do the same if he wants to have another baby? And of course I completely agree with the health stuff, I'm really sorry you lost your father at such a young age 🥺 both my parents were heavy smokers, smoked in the house, in the car, all the time and I'm also very anti smoking. My dad had a bladder cancer due to smoking and recently had lung cancer... Never stopped smoking... 😖🤦🏻‍♀️my mum tried really hard to stop several times and almost did it, but she never stopped either. She had MS and it killed her slowly and smoking certainly helped it get worse quicker... It's going to be 2y tomorrow since she passed 🥺

Didn’t test today at 10dpo…impressed with my own will power/convinced I’m not pregnant but also can’t bear to find out. With my previous pregnancies I had squinters at 10dpo and a clear line at 11dpo so at least tomorrow should be conclusive.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

@Ifyouknowyouknowyouknow How did it go for you? I envy your self control. I had non this morning and at 9dpo took a test.

This is my trusted always full blank one that left some room for imagination this time.
My bbt is with my typical 5dpo estrogen dip, otherwise consistent in very high numbers and rhr has not dropped as it has in previous not pregnant cycles. I know it’s hard to base on those results only and that line is sooo vague it doesn’t count yet. I’m of course hoping that this is just a beginning not one of my easy to happen CPs. So just trying to ignore it as much as I can until it goes noticeably stronger and IF there is a reason also confirmed by blood tests.

Ok so I did a boots test this morning…couldn’t check it jn the window as was trying to keep it secret from the kids. There is a very faint line now which almost certainly showed up afterwards…so I’m in limbo still! Not saying anything to DH yet and will test again tomorrow 😬